Geezer Ranting, Trending & Groupthink

 While skimming Google News this morning, I ran across this "7 Perfume Trends to Smell Sophisticated and Rich This Winter".  

That headline hit on something in me. Why do we even want to smell "sophisticated and rich"? Why not just smell nice? And I do realize that headlines are written this way to pull a reader's attention to an article. Still, why not just " 7 Perfume Trends"? But I would find a problem with that because, lately, I'm having a problem with societies need for "trends" and "influencing" and anything labeled as "latest" or "game-changing". I think I'm just tired of all the follower-like behavior in our culture. 

Is this my old age talking? Is this the geezer coming out in me? Maybe. But there is truth to getting wiser as you age - or rather, as you mature.

Why can't we all just be our best - at our jobs, in our behavior, in life? Why do we always have to be something other than what we are? Of course, we want to improve and grow - to mature in everything, but why do any of that unless for ourselves?

I think I'm on to something here. Think about it. No one - or at least not enough of us - thinks for themselves anymore. We have fallen into the predicted trap of groupthink. Of course, being in some kind of harmony with the rest of society - as far as laws and general behavior -for the sake of peace is good. I'm talking about losing the desire (and maybe even the ability) to think for ourselves.

In high school, I always admired the kids who didn't mind being a little different. There would be the kid who could have been more popular if - they wore her hair a certain way or dressed like the other kids or... Or, or, or, and if. I wanted to be that kid. Instead I wasted a lot of time trying to hard to be like the other kids. Sometimes, it worked (and when it did, it was exhausting), and sometimes it didn't (and I was left feeling anxious and depressed). As a G.I. brat, I changed schools a lot and, depending on the situation, became either a chameleon or a outsider.

That was high school. By the time I graduated, I found my own groove. I became an introvert who could be very social when I wanted. I'm still that way 45 years later. But every now and then, I have to remind myself not to slip into the world of the wanna-bes. 

The problem with kids who "wanna be" whatever it takes to be with the "in" crowd is that they grow up and become adults with the same mindset. This is why (all my opinion, of course) so many people fall into groupthink. 

Asking for a list of examples of groupthink disasters, ChatGPT (I know, I know!) responded:

When Obama was running the first time for president, so many black people (of all political parties) and white liberals and progressives voted for him simply because he is black. I can't deny that, although I strongly disagree with him on so many things, I wanted to see him elected. Grouphink.

When Trump first ran, the same thing happened. Many whites who felt represented for the first time in a long time (and other people for various reasons) wanted him in. Groupthink.

Getting away from politics, look at fashion trends. Afro-natural hair came back several years ago. Groupthink. Korean beauty became big in the past few years. Groupthink. Influencer marketing is big. Groupthink.

Groupthink is the reason we have trends, the reason things fall in and out of "fashion". Groupthink is the reason marketing works. 

As a Christian, I can't be a diligent groupthink citizen - not as far as larger issues. If I were, I'd believe that America is the center of prophecy and that we must be a "Christian" nation. I am a Bible-believing Christian so I know that people accept (or reject) Jesus as their Savior, not nations. 

We are where we are as a world because most of us have been programmed to be part of a "collective". In the Boiling Frog scenario, people who think for themselves will get out of the pot before it's too late.

Let me get a little deep here and say that since every journey starts with a single step, learn when it's better to walk your own way. 

I wear my hair afro-natural, and I love K-beauty, but I know when to get off the groupthink bus. I hope you do as well. Learn to think for yourself when it's most important.

Peace 

--Free

What is Beautiful?

(Warning: My brain is tired today, so this post might ramble just a bit!)

There are a lot of us bloggers who feature cosmetics and clothes and, well, all things "beautiful". Male or female, all of us want to be liked, loved, attractive, appealing. It's just part of our in-built need to feel connected. If we feel attractive, we feel that we have something visible to offer others on a (shallow) immediate basis.

After scrolling through a bunch of photos the other day - photos of friends and family - something dawned on me: many of those people were posing and putting out a show-off-y vibe.

If you are on an online social network, just check out all the selfies by regular folk. (Celebrities don't count. Self-promotion is part of their resume.) Most of those selfies are of folk trying hard to look like they aren't trying hard to look really good. We've become a nation (world?) of desperate-to-be-beautiful people.

I bet most people don't find certain things "attractive":

• Too much makeup
• Too much skin
• Too much weave
• Too much posing
• That stupid "duck face" thing people do

I really hate the duck face. That's a real sincere look, right?

We've distorted what is really most attractive in any person: being genuine.

When I see stories about this woman, who transformed herself into a doll image, I just wonder.

She's a living, breathing... Barbie?

And another one

Barbie & Ken?

What is going on here? (By the way, there is a suspicion of a tinge of racism in one of these cases. I don't think it's racism. I think it's complete body-image ignorance.)  I've read stories of people trying to change their appearance to downplay their racial features. That's some real self-hate there.

There are more of these "human Barbies" than I thought. Enough for a slideshow, apparently. I found a black "Barbie" without looking too hard. Their are no racial lines when it comes to distorted body images. 

I wonder about the sanity and character of a person who is attracted to a person who looks like a plastic doll.

Growing up, I used to have the normal (?) pre-pubescent fantasies of being with whichever boy was the cutest in my school, a popular band, or on a TV show. Because I did grow up (and because I had great parents and other role models), I learned to appreciate people for their whole selves: personality, character, and motivations.

I have made some mistakes in judging some people but, overall, I am mostly attracted to people who are comfortable with who they are and how they look.

What's beautiful?

• A genuine smile
• Kindness in the eyes
• Intelligence
• Humor

I am sometimes socially awkward, so I relate to that in other people. It's also really cool when someone is socially comfortable -despite their looks, bank account or connections (or lack of).

A lot of us are attracted to people for reasons we can't put our finger on. We explain our attraction to certain people by saying that "there's just something about" him/her.

Instead of buying into and promoting shallow attributes, we should learn to find that "certain something" that is in all of us.

Peace

--Free

Our Hair Obsession

What a bad combo: fire and hair. Right?

Apparently, this is about to become the latest thing in hair care. I'm pretty sure there are going to be people going into business, advertising their choice of candles and methods of burning. You know how it goes: some new thing comes along and everybody has to try it, buy it or sell it. Until the next "new" thing comes around.

When I think of hair and even just a too-hot curling iron, this image pops into my head:

No thank.

All someone has to do is tell us that a celebrity or model - or one of their friends, advisors or acquaintances - is doing something and we all go hop on the bandwagon. We don't care where the wagon is headed, but we're buying tickets to ride...

It's funny that the same news outlet that touts so many of these "trends" is just as quick to badmouth them.

The most bizarre thing that came up in a search or hair treatments is this one:

BULL +      

SEMEN +   

HAIR      

Okay, that sperm pic is more acceptable than a pic of semen, but... Yeah. There is a bull semen treatment for the hair. Apparently.

The $138 price didn't faze me. I was fazed enough by the idea of having semen in my hair. Come on, now!

The average person can come up with using just about anything in hair to treat different issues. Heh heh. Back when my cousins and I were young and wanted to moisturize and tame our styles, we used plain old lotion. I had never heard of using Nivea or Coca Cola. When someone named Jane suggested using a Pritt stick for unwanted curls, I had to look up what the heck a "Pritt stick" is.

This is a Pritt Stick

Also known as a glue stick

Well, there ya go.

If we aren't treating our hair, we are tormenting it. With heat and cold and slime and devices. When I look at some of the hairstyles that have come and gone (and come again), I remember one that I wore back when I was about 13. I'm not sure if the style had a name, but I called it the Unicorn. I pulled my hair, ponytail style, to the very top of my head, secured it with a rubberband. Instead of a "Pony", I twisted the hair so that it stood straight up. I'm sure I can find an image of something similar...

Okay, maybe it was just us crazy country gals doing that particular thing. I couldn't find a pic, but let's go back to passing hairstyles and just imagine this one...

Cool. Unless you have a 9 to 5

... except with just one of those braids sticking straight up into the air.

sigh

Out of all the hair trends and styles I've gone through in my life, I have to admit that I most like being "natural". I don't have to spend so much money on straightening and styling. For me, my naps are my get-up-and-go style. If I have to, I can jump out of the shower, spritz on some curl moisturizer and go start my day.

With relaxed hair, I had to either spend too much time on my hair before bed - curling or tying it up; or too much time on waking - styling or taming it. I don't even want to think about the chemicals used to relax it every six weeks or so. Lye or no-lye, something was doing the work of straightening hair that wanted to curl.

Now that I am moving to a more humid state, I'm hoping that my hair will be even happier. When I lived in England, I wore cornrows almost constantly and never even had to use moisturizer. My hair was in better shape than any other part of my life!

So, I'm working on losing the hair obsession. Though I might try the Pritt stick treatment. Just for kicks.

Peace
--Free

Let's Start A Trend

(Day 45 of being smoke free. I have one complaint: No one warned me that quitting smoking might supply so much more oxygen to my brain that I'd think deeply about almost every aspect of life.) 

On to the post:

I was reading some of the trashy "news" I love (judge my honesty, I don't care) when one sentence in the sidebar made me pause.

"We don't remember what's it's like to be normal kids." That was from a member of a family of celeb-realities. (I'm not sure what to call them since they don't sing, dance or act. They are famous for the reality of their life, so ~shrug~)

Isn't that sad? Not that this one person feels this way, but that there are so many kids -even "regular" kids - who feel the same. It's such a trend to have kids grow up real fast. They are pushed (or allowed) to be "grown" so fast that some of them end up confused and bewildered, a danger to themselves or the rest of us.

Being an adult is no picnic so I'm not sure why anyone's in a hurry to get there. But growing up fast is a trend.

Another trend I don't like: People thinking it's okay to be rude. Matter of fact, some time back, "rude" got a new labels: Aggressive, Bold, Forceful... All these make being rude sound like a desired trait.

If I ruled the world (or at least had enough influence), here are trends I'd like to see started:

• Kids being kids - making mud-pies, playing Tag, having giggly sleepovers, getting their non-designer clothes dirty from playing outside.
• Adults being teammates when it comes to raising kids. You keep an eye out for mine, I do the same for you, and we tattle to each other like 5-year olds.
• Schools teaching kids how to read (not why they read, just how); how to add, subtract, multiply and divide; how to think critically - so they can form an opinion of their own from knowledge they pursued on their own.
• Adults who teach their kids how to use their time wisely. Why aren't children being trained to use some time for entertainment and pleasure, some for thinking and learning, some for doing and earning? 
• Women enjoying being women without destroying each other. 
• Men enjoying being men without destroying each other.
• People being happy for those who do well in life while feeling compassion for those who are going through hard times.
• People unafraid to keep the details of their sex lives private. No public announcements needed.
• Food, exercise and socializing being what they are for without becoming industries.

Am I delusional for  believing that things can get back to being simple? Everything that's gotten complicated  was simpler at some point. Can't we run this trend train in reverse?

Just saying.

Peace

--Free