Thursday, December 15, 2011

Mama Wasn't Always Nice

I am over here just cracking up laughing because I heard someone use a saying my mother used to use. I don't know if you've ever heard this, and please pardon the language, but when someone got on my mother's nerves by pestering her, she'd tell them that they could worry the stink out of sh*t.

I have no idea how that is done, but I always died laughing when I heard Mama say it. Variations on the saying included: "The hot out of Hell," "Wet out of water" and others that I can't remember right now.

Another of her sayings is one most people might have heard: "I'll slap the taste out of your mouth!" (I had a smart-alecky cousin who would mutter, "How? You didn't put it there." But she would only mutter it! lol) Another warning was one I heard someone else use: "Knock you out til you wake up smart." I think it was a friend's parent or auntie who said that.

Of course, now I am over hear thinking of some of the things Mama would say that would have us laughing - whether we let her hear us laughing or not!

"Drunker than Cooter Brown" was one of the sayings. To this day, we have no idea who Cooter Brown was or even if he was a real person.

"Musty as a goat" was for someone with body odor.

"Looking like Sista Tuttah" was for when you were dressed slouchy or wearing your hair in a way Mama thought was unattractive. We have no idea who Sister Tuttah is.

"Sitting there with your jaws tight" was for when you called yourself mad or upset about something.

"Knock a knot on your behind" was the threat of a whipping. (And, no, it wasn't child abuse when Mama whipped us. We got it with her hand or a switch, and most kids back then got the same & we turned out just fine, thank you.)

"People in Hell want ice water" was for when you were not going to be getting something you asked for.

"Hello walls" was for rude people who walked into a room without speaking. So was, "I didn't sleep with you last night."

"Losing your manners" meant breaking wind. Maybe because you were showing a lack of manners by doing it around people.

When someone was rude enough to stare at you hard, the saying was "Trying to look the clothes off of me."

We kids had one we used for the adults because they could always seem to hear us no matter how quiet we tried to be: "Mama can hear a rat p*ss on cotton."

My mother had trouble with certain words also. She never said "Lion" but "Louns." Her and my father were a good match because he couldn't say the words "Neither" or "Either." He said "Neezer" and "Eezer." Don't ask. I have no idea why. This gene runs in the family because my sister doesn't say "Stickler" for a picky person. She has what I think is a better word: "Stick-u-lar." (Now doesn't that just make more sense for some reason? LOL)

Wow. I am so glad that this is a good day for my thinking and being able to communicate okay. I will have this post to look back on when I am having trouble with my thought processes. I hope you enjoyed it!


My Best Friend

I just wanted to give a shout out to my friend, Jone. This is for her!

I hope everyone has a best friend like I do. My best gal friend comes with a "break in case of emergency" feature! She is always there to laugh with me, cry with me, be silly with me and just be with me. She doesn't give up on me when I get moody & being a total pain in the rear. She is always happy for my successes and never jealous. She is always "real" and never phony. She tells me like it is - whether I like it or not, but only when she knows I can handle it. She lets me tell her like it is & appreciates it. She is funny and sweet and smart and kind. She wears whatever she wants, no matter what anyone else thinks. When we go out to eat, she gives the waiter silly names for us ("Her majesty, queen of Anchorage" or "Betherina"). She drives like a maniac, but will slow down when I start looking faint. She says things like "cool beans" and "groovy." She stands up for herself (and for me) but always treats people with compassion. She doesn't get mad easily and she is SO quick to forgive and pray for someone when they are being ridiculous. She reminds me to be the same way (even when I want to tell them they are ridiculous). She laughs at my jokes. She focuses on my good points and not the negative. She keeps my secrets and WILL judge me, but with love and guidance. When I got fat, she made me laugh about it, then gave me a bunch of clothes that fit. When I am worried about money, she offers what she has. When I am worried about tomorrow, she reminds me to be thankful for today. When I am wanting to be mean about something, she reminds me to play nice. When I get in a mood and don't want to be bothered, I can trust she will be there when I am feeling better. She prays with me and for me ALL THE TIME. Her life has not been easy, but she remains trusting and faithful in the Lord. (If she has ONE fault, it's that she is a complete no-nothing about all things internet! She does use email, though.)

When we first met, she told me it was a "God thing." She's got that right because God made her to order as a friend for me.

So, yeah, I hope everyone has a best friend like mine. 

If you have a friend like this, call them up just to say "Hi, I love ya!" When you can, buy them some candy or a book or do something that will make them smile. Make sure to cherish them because not everyone has a good friend like this.

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity (Prov17:17)


She Speaks!

I don't often plug things, but...

She Speaks is a great place for the ladies to check out product reviews, interact with other members and try products (often for free). If you have a blog, you can also join their blogger community.

I belong to the site and really like the interaction and being able to try new stuff (for free! lol).

(Notice my nifty new badge here on the page)

Maybe I will see you all over there...