Saturday, December 29, 2012

A Little Honesty

Okay. I'm going to put myself out there and admit that I can really be one petty bitch. (I'm doing this as a  sort of cleansing exercise. New Year, new me, blah, blah, blah...) Here's some mini-rants I need to get off my chest and out of my head:

1 - I love my roommate, I swear that I do. I love her more than she knows. My hydrophobic ass would swim an ocean to get to her if she ever needed me to. But. (Don't act like you didn't know this was coming.) I am going to go all Katt Williams on her ass the next time she leaves dirty dishes on the counters right after I've cleaned the kitchen. Or when she leaves the dryer vent looking like a Wookiee or something. Come on now. I have phobias! Fire is one of them! She knows this! Damnit. I'm not just being a neat-freak. This is sometimes about safety. (Okay, not the dishes on the counter, maybe, but...) The other day she fell asleep in her recliner (which is right by the deck door - which is an emergency exit) with boxes and bags of old give-away clothes just surrounding the chair. I cleaned it all up (in case of a fire) and told her that if a fire does break out and she's blocked an exit, I'm moon-walking right over her narcoleptic ass. I'll send a firemen back in for her but... SMH

2 - This next rant is all on me. It's something I have to work on if I want to be a better person in 2013. I am, um... How can I say this?... Here it is: I am sometimes a pretty petty bitch. (We won't talk about dishes and blocking exits here, okay? Okay.) What I mean is, sometimes out of spite I will begrudge someone their proper due.

One example I can give of this is probably something you've done yourself: An acquaintance comes around looking nice. Maybe she has a new haircut or has learned to dress as if she actually owns a mirror. Let's say that she is looking really good. Let's keep talking and say that everyone is noticing. So when a friend mentions to me that old Sally is stepping up her game, do I agree that Sally's game is, indeed, stepped up? Probably I do. Out loud. But in my head, where the real me lives, I'm thinking: "So what? So the heffa got a raise and spent it getting her hair and makeup done instead of paying a bill." Then I tell myself that as soon as her perm (or weave) grows out, she'll be the same old Sally.

Now that's just an example. I've never really had those thoughts in a real situation. No. I've had worse thoughts in different situations. Sometimes these thoughts are fleeting and I ask God's forgiveness immediately. Sometimes, though...  I can hold those thoughts until I'm halfway to Hell.

I don't know why I'm like this. Usually, the Bad Trudy only comes out to play when I'm tired or mad about something. Usually. Then again, Bad Trudy has come out at times when I'm drunk. Not good. Drunk me doesn't just have thoughts in my head. If it's thought, it's said. Loudly. Yeah. So.

3 - Why do some people do the stupidest things then want the rest of us to feel sorry for them? Or at least want us to listen while they moan and cry? If I do something super-stupid, I'm only telling the nearest and dearest of friends - maybe. Some folks will cry their heart out to anyone over anything. To those people I say:

     Don't spend the last of your money on the 18th of the month when you know you will be broke at least until the 1st of the next month.

     Don't get a $60 outfit at Old Navy when you haven't bought groceries or paid the $50 cell phone bill.

     Quit telling all your friends what a loser your old man is if you're going to get mad when they call him a loser.

     Quit sleeping with random guys you don't really know if you're going to wake up tomorrow crying to me about what disease you might have. Get your ass down to a clinic, then start practicing knee kegels.

I could go on, but you get it. The people I am talking about are not young and still attending Hard Knocks High. When you get to a certain age, you should have learned some lessons already.

You know what I just realized? I need to quit being so hard on other people. (Notice how I finished my rants first?) Most of the things that irk me about other people are the things I've done myself. It's childish of me, I know. Like  a toddler laughing at an infant who still wets himself.  That's another New Year goal for me: being more understanding.

Yeah. For the New Year. Meanwhile, there's more than 2 days left in this year. I'm going to go find my roommate and have a discussion about those dirty dishes...

(heh heh, thanks to +Kim Barnes)