Thursday, July 17, 2014

Dream Products

Since I'm prepping to relocate, I have't been able to take on any new product reviews. In the meantime, I've come up with a dream list of products I'd love to try out.

First of all, for any of the products, the basic criteria would include mainstream availability and prices affordable for average people. By "average" I mean those of us who don't have excessive discretionary funds. Maybe I even mean those of us who rarely get to use the term "discretionary funds".

So, here's the list I have in my head:

  • An entire skincare regimen with natural, wholesome ingredients without any mention of animals that weren't killed in the making of the finished products. I love animals, but I don't need to get an entire history of the treatment of them in a brochure attached to my wrinkle cream.
  • Any product that actually does reduce cellulite and takes inches off my waistline. The product can't include any ingredients that are renamed to hide the fact that they came from the lab of a mad scientist. Also, it can't take six months of installment-plan use to see any results.
  • Hair products that work - not just the sample product that is never quite the same as when you get the full-size treatment. If it implies that it will make your hair shine, bounce, curl, soften up, straighten up - or make complete strangers on the street follow you around because of the great smell - then, dangit, it will do that.
  • Something like those pocket/purse-sized teas and juices to squirt into my water that uses actual sugar - no artificial sweeteners allowed. Matter of fact, I want tiny, purse-sized teas, sodas and sugary juices for when I just need a little bit of a guilty thirst fix.
  • Cottage cheese that doesn't look like curdled baby poop. I don't even care if it tastes any different that regular cottage cheese. Every time I want to try cottage cheese, I just can't. I have a sensitive gag reflex when it comes to food that looks like it's already been partially digested.
  • Grape-sized, rind-less watermelon. Love watermelon. Hate the mess. Loathe that I have to have the fly-attracting rinds in the garbage can in summer.
  • Mixable, customize-able makeup. I've seen foundations that are supposed to blend in "true" to various shades, but it's all a lie. You still have to find a close enough match to blend true or else you will look like a cartoon parody of yourself. I want some foundation palettes, and some blendable lipstick that can take me from day to night without having to buy eight tubes of colors that are close-but-not-quite the right shade.
Am I asking for too much? I know I can't be the only one who hasn't thought of some of these products. I hope that by the time I get moved and settled in the new town, someone will have at least come up with the purse-sized sodas. At any rate, tomorrow I might post about my Amazon wishlist...