Thursday, September 18, 2014

Grief Prolonged

Today was one of those days. It was a decent day, but so many little things bothered me that I just felt worn out by noon.

And I'm missing Perry so much still.

I've been listening to a song that reminds me of him and our friendship. I'm surprised that I didn't know how much he meant to me until he was gone. He meant everything.

It was Perry who kept me on the safe side of sane when I was going through the worst of my sickness and life turmoil. He could make me laugh if that's what either of us needed but, more than that, he could let me cry if that's just what I needed. I hope I was there for him like that too.

I know that people can die of heartbreak because I can literally feel my own heart aching every time I want to see an email or get a phone call from my buddy. He's not here anymore and that just hurts and hurts and hurts.

Thinking of you, my friend.

I wish you were.

I know what you'd probably say if you were here. You'd tell me to go ahead and feel all the bad stuff - just for a little while though. Then you'd tell me to find at least one blessing to count. So I'm going to sit here and feel sad for a little while, then I'm going to continue a challenge I've been given to name 3 blessings a day. I'm on Day 4, but it's harder to count through the tears I'm swallowing.