Sunday, March 15, 2015

Things No One Told Me (About Grief)

As I get ready for church this morning, I am feeling low on faith and strength.

I saw a quote yesterday: "A woman without her sister is like a bird without wings."

No one ever told me that I would feel this way after losing the person closest to me. When my mother passed away, that was a different kind of grief. That was grief shared. With Mike.

Unlike other women my age, I didn't spend a life with husbands and kids of my own. I spent a life with my sister and my mother. We always lived with or near each other. We were a team of the family women.

After Mom passed, Mike and I became more than sisters. We became a team of two. We were each other's strength when relationships failed, when job stresses overwhelmed us, and when life did what it does and went into little surprise tailspins.

At one of the loneliest times of my life, when a marriage had failed, I remember looking out of the bedroom window at the sky. I was thinking of how big this world is and how orphaned I felt - in a strange state with an abusive husband and no family of my own around me. I was thinking that I had one thing on this earth that would get me through: my sister. She was somewhere on earth, under the same sky, and that made everything bearable.

No one ever told me that grief would ebb and flow. That I would go from feeling numb to feeling new every sensation of emotional pain that ever could be felt. No one told me that I would sometimes feel paralyzed by my loss, unable to function, barely able to breathe. I didn't know that I would catch scent from one the hats Mike wore or catch sight of some of her belongings and then just die a little.

Last night, I sat looking out the window, thinking that I no longer have Mike somewhere on this earth and under the same sky.

So, I am going to church this morning, feeling orphaned and wingless.

No one ever told me this is what grief feels like.


**REVIEW** 100% PureTea Tree Oil by Apothecary Extracts

This is the first time I have actually used a tea tree oil. Me. The person who has tried oils with names that I can't even pronounce correctly. This one was nothing like what I expected. It's a 100% pure therapeutic grade Tea Tree Oil by Apothecary Extracts.

Nice-looking bottle too.
 First, it doesn't stink. Matter of fact, I really like the smell of it. My regular blog readers know how I am about that.

 Also, I'm crazy about the packaging of this product. Not only is it pretty, but the label includes specific information about the oil itself and about the uses (and warnings). That's nice. I've seen lots of products that include a lot of hype and no real information. Check it out on Amazon.

Like I said, I've never tried tea tree oil before. I was a little nervous about trying it because most of what I've heard is how strong it is. When I gave this one the sniff test, I was really pleased with the scent. It's strong but not overwhelming.

Since I am cautious about what I use on my skin, I decided to start easy with this. After I checked out the package label and a few websites indicating all the ways it can be used, I tried it on my chapped lips. I combined a drop of it with a drop of some argan oil (which is heavier and richer than some of my other oils) and used the mixture as a balm. Results: very nice. There was a sensation much milder than when applying mentholated balms, but I got immediate softness. The best thing is that after my lips sucked up all that oil, they didn't dry out. The relief is lasting and I think I am going to have to make a mixture to keep in a tin for my purse.

I don't have problems with acne, so I don't want to test this on my already dry and moody skin. What I do have is a stubborn corn on my left foot. I read somewhere that I can use the tea tree oil to get rid of that problem. So... I tested it out tonight by wetting a Q-tip with some tea tree and some of the argan oil. I dabbed that on and, since my toe didn't fall off or burst into flames, I'm going to repeat the process every night and soak my foot in warm water every morning until I get rid of the corn. Where was this stuff when I needed to get rid of old boyfriends and ex-husbands?

To be honest, I'm still finding ways to use the oil, but here are some uses I've heard about:

A couple of warnings that stood out for me as I searched around were not to use on young children and not to ingest.

I think that there can be lots of ways to include this in your beauty routine. This is a list of a variety of ways to take care of your nails, hair and skin with it. This site is a bit more specific to beauty care using tea tree oil. The main thing I noticed when checking out ways to use tea tree oil is that diluting with a carrier oil is best until you know what your skin and hair can tolerate. 

This is one of the more expensive oils that I have tried, but I need to mention that the price works out to be cheaper than it looks. Because the oil is often meant to be diluted and used in combination with carrier oils and other ingredients (for instance, when making cleaning solutions), I think of the 4 ounces as being equal to 16 ounces of other oils. For instance, I use a lot of coconut oil but that's because I don't dilute it.

Since the brand offers a 100% "No questions asked, money-back" guarantee, you can feel secure in giving this tea tree oil a try.

For me, I have found a new staple to add to my oil collection for natural body and beauty care. By the way, I'd love to hear from anyone that knows of other uses for it.


DISCLOSURE: I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free in exchange for a fair and honest review using BrandBacker Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.