RANT: Keeping It Real

Let me start by saying that this post might "trigger" some folk. I'm sorry but I have to do this. I just finished trying to shop online for some makeup and hair products and I somehow ended up water-sliding down a rabbit hole of madness.

Ladies, when did we get so extreme about trying to be beautiful? Is it because of the selfie mentality brought on by Facebook and Instagram? I think that must be it. I can do a whole pre-rant rant on how sick I am of seeing people pooching up their lips and squinching their eyes to look "sexy" in their photos. I admit that I am jealous of photogenic people but that has nothing to do with how much I hate the way we have perverted the simple act of posing for photos. In my opinion 'posing' for a photo means making sure you don't have food in your teeth, your nose is not shining to light a room. and you are sucking in the belly pooch. I don't know when it because such a thing to make "duck lips" (how f**king stupid does that even sound?) and squinch-eyes. Only Marilyn Monroe could get away with that and she's gone now so stop it. Just stand there and try to look like you are glad to be alive and smile. That's it. Simple. And even if you want to cute it up by pretending to be a lingerie model, that's cutest when it's an every-now-and-then thing. I don't even know some people anymore when I see them in person because they are so impossibly glamorous in every single photo. (I can swear that I am not lying when I say there are people I met online through the family that I did not recognize the first time I saw them in person. I'm dead serious.)

And I get it. We all want to look our best - in photos and in person. Why the hell do you think I was shopping for makeup and hair products? I want to look my nicest. Usually. Most of the time though, I am a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of gal. If I'm not being stubborn, I will put on some foundation and lipstick and reacquaint my body with something other than jeans and a t-shirt. At my finest, I will even try to wear hose and heels. (The heels part is a little tricky with my balance these days, but...)

I once watched a makeup tutorial video that reminded me of something my mother used to say about people just running out of sh*it to do. What I wanted was to understand what "contouring" is since I had heard so much about it. Have you seen this kind of thing before? It's like trick makeup. If you are skilled enough at this contouring stuff, you can abracadabra a person into a whole other entity.

When I was writing this I got so tickled because I remembered something from an old movie. The best part starts at the 3:40 mark.

That clip reminded me of one from the Fresh Prince:

I no longer find Will Smith, sexy or charming these last few years but this clip still cracks me up.

Some women are going to hate me for saying this but... I think it's a little unfair when ladies paint themselves into another face, Spanx up a whole other body, and go all weave-a-go-go. A guy has no idea what a woman really looks like. Sooner or later, all the special effects are going to have to be washed off. And I totally get wanting to look good your best for your man, but reality is still the name of the game. If you are jazzing yourself up in online pics to maybe meet a mate, remember one thing: you eventually have to show up in person. I just think honesty is too important in a relationship (said the woman who, when younger, got up before her husband, apply full makeup, get back in bed and "wake up" again looking lovely) and going too far with the makeup and everything is basically a lie. There's a reason my first marriage failed.

 Another reason I don't understand the obsession with makeup is how messy it can be. I wear a little bit of foundation and am lucky when I make it through the day without it transferring onto everything. When I clean my face at night - and this is just for a tiny bit of foundation mixed into some sunscreen - that baby wipe comes away looking like I used it to stain furniture. That's not sexy.

Maybe I'm just being so critical because I no longer wear much makeup. Even when I was younger, I was no good at using anything beyond the basics. I'm always kind of amazed at the talent some people have at changing their whole look with makeup.

I was talking to a guy in line at the store not long ago. He complimented me on my eyes, saying they were pretty. Before I could even thank him, he asked if my contacts were colored. They are not. I have a strange genetic thing going on that gives my eyes a blue tinge. But I can't blame the guy for asking (but I kind of can) since, these days, you never know what's real or purchased. ~shrug~

I don't know. I'm bitching and criticizing but I am probably a little bit of a hypocrite. I have been known to wear braided extensions and I am not above slathering on makeup for formal photos. One time, I tried wearing some Spanx-like undergarment to work. Two hours into my day, I had to go into the bathroom and completely disrobe to peel myself out of that contraption. I was so constricted I felt like I was about to stroke out...

So, okay then. I guess we all can be a bit vain at times. I just wish we could be more accepting of each other straight, no chaser, no coverup.

One reason I try to never doctor online photos of myself is that I'd rather you be pleasantly surprised when you meet me instead of thinking of me as a photo-shopping genius of a cheat. Oh, wait - was that vain of me?

Peace
--Free

Pluspora & MeWe

I'm still in mourning for the soon-to-be-defunct Google Plus. In the meantime, I have been trying to find other online places to share the blog and connect with nice folks. So far, I have found Pluspora (nice place with a bit of a learning curve) and MeWe (I already have connected with a few fellow Plussers there).

My Tumblr account has been dormant so long that I forgot my username. Guess I need to reconnect, huh?

For all my new folks at Pluspora and MeWe, I wanted to put it out there where I can be connected with. I will update this as I get set up with other accounts.

Twitter
Pinterest
Tumblr
Pluspora
MeWe

I really hate Facebook and I'm not there much except to check out family photos. I might link it here later. Meantime...

Peace
--Free

***UPDATED REVIEW*** Tomoson

A while back, I did a quickie review a site (Tomoson.com) that works well for two groups of people: 1) for bloggers/social networkers who like trying products (for free) and creating social buzz about those products,  and 2) for businesses wanting feedback on and buzz about products.

Now that I have been using Tomoson, I can give you some more info from a blogger p.o.v.:

• Applying to review a product is super easy. Basically, you browse through the promotions available. You can even do a category view:

lotta choices

• The more social reach you have - by platform (ex: Facebook, Twitter, etc.), and sometimes based on how strong your reach is (ex: Google blog rank) - the more product choices you have. However, I am happy to say that some promos are open to almost anyone. (I'm still building my Facebook reach, dangit!)
• The variety of products is fantastic. There are toys and books and even furniture. Yep. 
• The process from applying, being approved, to receiving the product, has been lightening fast so far. 
• You get to communicate directly with the supplier via a message system.
• You get to rate not only the product, but also the business.
• Your (as a reviewer) are rated. Your ratings are based on your reach, authority and engagement. It's nice to watch your score rise, in a Klout-like way.
• You can view your status for every promo you've applied for. Also, the messages between you and the businesses are saved. You can sort the messages various ways as you follow-through a promotion.
• If you're like me and need to organize things to keep information straight, every promotion is tagged with an ID#. You can sort your reviews by application date, title, status, and so on.
• You will appreciate the sorting system because, once again, if you're like me, you're going to be trying a lot of products.
• It's fun and easy and more productive than just reading about some new product.
• You get a "due date" for each review which helps keep you on track.
• You can be honest!

I have not had any negative experiences with the process so far. Right this moment, of 14 promotions I've applied to, I have been approved for 5 (and pre-approved/accepted for the others), and I've received and started reviewing 2 of them. (You might have seen part one of the 3-part review I'm doing for Nature's Best Vitamin C Serum from Mystelic.)

I just started applying for products on May 5 and I've already got a steady list of reviews to do.

I really can't think of any negatives about this site. Okay, maybe having a a personal calendar for each user would be nice, but... I made my own!

If you are already doing reviews, or like sharing information with your blog readers or social network groups, I think Tomoson's is actually better than other Word of Mouth sites. I still love my BzzAgent and SheSpeaks, but they don't have nearly as many campaigns available. With Tomoson, you are pretty much only limited by yourself.

(I'm going to have to ask one of the businesses how they like Tomoson. If I get information, I'll post, so watch this space!)

Peace

--Free

The Good, Bad & Ugly Internet

Google Plus and Twitter aren't enough for me anymore. I've signed up for Tumblr (not sure how I like it yet), About.me (not sure how it's useful yet), Last.fm (love it), and I've delved back into my dormant Pinterest account (totally hooked this time).

My older sister doesn't have or want to have anything to do with the internet except for the games on her phone. If it were not for the games on her phone, she probably wouldn't even know what her mobile data is for. I think that's a shame. There is so much on the internet that is good, educational, entertaining and socially world-shrinking. On the other hand, there are the Kardashians. This brings me to the point of this post: the good, bad and ugly of the internet.

The Good

• It's taught me, better than the other time I spend, that there's a difference in being known and being respected. The internet can make a star or villain out of almost anyone. 
• People find a lot of harmful enjoyment - like my sister with the games. It sure is cheaper. Example: $8/mo for watching movies and shows in my PJs. $10.25 for one evening movie theater ticket. That's solo, no refreshments (or "Pause" button for the bathroom breaks). Nuff said?
• It's an open classroom for anyone wanting to learn anything. People who can't afford normal portals of education can gorge themselves on knowledge.
• It really does erase boundaries. People on different continents of different cultures, races and backgrounds can connect, chat, share and even make plans to meet in person. 
• For people who ever wondered if they were the only ones who (fill in the blank with whatever insecurity, health problem, life problem, etc.) get relief in knowing they are not.
• People who can't travel - or maybe even leave their home - can see the beauty of the rest of the world.
• All the time we spent running to the store, the Post Office and bank and holding our phones listening to bad "Hold" music is pretty much done. Gift-shopping is so easy, you can check a person's Wishlist online, order the very thing they want and have it delivered - even if said person hates you and you're under police orders to stay a hundred feet from them at all times. (Don't ask how I know this.)
• Jobs are opened up by the existence of the internet. Technology needs the tech savvy. Those tech-leaning folk (and those who run from tech) can find jobs they might never have heard about. Some of those jobs can be done without stepping foot into a shower or out of the front door. (I don't recommend that shower part.)

The Bad

• Fame is there for the grabbing, but that fame is like any pleasure and comes in varieties: worth it, no way in hell worth it, long-lasting, fleeting, surprising or painful - and always with a consequence.
• The internet gobbles time the way I'd gobble cheesecake if I lived in an alternate universe with no calories or gravity. (By the way, if you know anyone who uses Pinterest, slap them the next time they claim to be to busy to do anything else. That site is like choose-your-crack city. I spent two hours on there one day and almost missed an appointment.)
• People need people (sing it, Barbra) but, sometimes, the internet is the worst way for people to meet. It's too easy to lie about who and what you really are. 
•  Seeing our societies shallow attraction to only those who are beautiful and successful can really breakdown the rest of us mere mortals.

The Ugly

•  Not all people (yet) have access to the internet (though more than ever before) and, sometimes, they are shoved further into a poverty - whether a poverty of learning, opportunity or of spirit.
• It seems that just many people use the broken boundaries for bad as for good. The cowards and bullies have a bigger platform to recruit and target victims. And they use it. 
• As far as meeting someone on the internet (for more than "casual" contact), so much can go sideways. We've all heard about the friend of a friend who finally met Mister or Miss Right via some toolonely.com site. Sometimes, they find out just exactly why the liar face is so lonely. Lots of times it can be funny (to the rest of us) when a real-life meet goes wrong, but too many times, it's dangerous as hell, maybe even deadly. At the least, it can be heartbreaking. That's bad enough for some people.
• You have to be careful with what you put out there online. Most of us (I include myself here) are not nearly careful enough. Someone with enough time or money or lack character can find out what brand and color underwear you use on alternate days of the week. (And don't even wonder why the ads that pop up on the site you visit always have ads for the exact flavor of Coffee Mate creamer you prefer.)

Yeah, so...

The thing is, there is good, bad and ugly in everything. We just need to be more aware.

Peace

--Free

G+ (2013) vs Facebook (2011)

I'm a big promoter of Google Plus. I'm as big on revealing my hatred for Facebook.

Google Plus is just a better fit for me. I like to talk to a variety of people about a variety of ideas. I don't want to simply sign in and check up on who has the coolest sayings or the day, the best motivational (or de-motivational) posters, or deepest proclamations of faith or love or- whatever.

While I love my interactions on G+, I've gotten a little bored with it lately. I'm starting to see a Facebook mentality creep in. A couple of years ago, I could be guaranteed to see serious discussions of news and culture. Lately, I see a lot of people just spouting off about meaningless crap. No offense to my circles (because you guys are awesome), but I'm not finding a whole lot more of your kind.

I've been offline a lot since I've had such chaos in my personal (offline) life. Hah! When I logged on earlier this morning, I scrolled through the list of people who've been adding me to their circles. I ended up spending about 20 minutes just "dismissing" all the folks with no image or tagline. I spent another chunk of time getting rid of the self-promoters, businesses, motivational speakers and avid self-photographers who want everyone to know just how hot & photogenic they are. (I won't even mention all the folks using G+ to hook up with someone - anyone.)

Guess what? I still haven't found but a handful of folks to circle back.

Where are all the people who are fun and interesting and conversational and knowledgeable about something they're not selling or talking-up?

One of the first people I ever added on The Plus was +Fraser Cain (publisher of Universe Today). I'm certainly no rocket scientist (or scientist of any kind), but I get turned on to some of the most interesting things from checking Cain's stream.

I've connected to people who I stay in touch with via email and their blogs. I have established online friendships with people who share interests with me (as bloggers, writers, fellow immune disease sufferers) and would be fun to hang out with if we ever met in "real" life.

There are some folks on G+ who have no clue who I am, but are generous enough to share their art and music with the rest of us.

Maybe I'm selfish (okay, that's been established), but I don't want to just "sit" on a network and watch it stream by. I like learning and connecting and getting something out of the experience.

So... I'm going back over to my "People" list again to see if there aren't at least a few I'll be excited about adding back. Else, I might as well have stayed on Facebook. I couldn't even type that without a shudder of repulsion going through my body. Speaking of being repulsed, did you know that there is still a MySpace. It wasn't bad before, if it was your kind of thing, but now... I don't even see what the point is. (Just my opinion, people. Please don't hate me for it.)

Peace
--Free

Reading, Writing & Will I Flip?

No, I won't flip out, but I was driving myself a little batty the other day while trying to focus on writing.  I've had so much trouble concentrating since my bout with Sarc that I'm thinking of talking to my doctor about it. I mean, what's happened? Have I developed some sort of attention deficit problem?

Anyway, I did manage to concentrate long enough to figure out a way to battle my problem with keeping focus. I resorted to something my father once taught me about: background noise. I should say that my father taught me to choose my own background noise to rid myself of the distractions caused by random noises.

Can I stop here and say that there are wonderful benefits to living in this day and age? Back in the day when I needed some background noise, I had to plug my ears and listen to my heart beat. These days? Well, let's just give YouTube a standing ovation, shall we? This is one of several videos I found to provide some nerve-calming sounds to your situation:

Um, it was at least something like this one. There are a TON!

Of course, you know how I am - easily-distracted and attracted. I spent thirty minutes checking out my options. There were videos with rain, rain and thunder; rain, birds and thunder... I'm pretty sure that if I'd kept looking, I would have found something even more specific, like maybe rain from the summer or '69 at two in the afternoon. Seriously. Go take a look. 

Once I chose a video and got down to work on my writing, I couldn't believe how much more focused I was. I was so focused that I felt more creative than I had for a long time.

But you know me. Or maybe you don't.

After a couple of hours, I started to feel like there was something missing. Something that would complete my writing experience.

I found it in this little application: Qwertick.

Oh, boy. Once I had my laptop keys sounding like a real typewriter, Hemingway couldn't have told me Nah-thin!

Isn't it funny how the mind works? Or maybe it's just my mind. Something like a change in background noise or the sounds a keyboard makes can change up the whole writing situation.

At any rate, I thought that I'd tell you all about my experience. Especially my buddies over at G+, where I haven't been in so long that I'm offended no one has sent out a search party. 

Speaking of social networks, and since I am blogging, I need to mention just one more thing I ran across in the last couple of days. There is this blogging network called Glipho. It's described as a "social publishing engine." You will  have to check it out. I am on there now, but just feeling my way around. If you do join up, come by and say Hello to me.

Now I need to turn off my distractions, turn on my background sounds and get back to work. (Maybe after I run by G+ and say Hi to the folks over there!)

Peace

--Free

Entertaining Angels

An online life is a lot like a "real world" life. You meet good people, bad people, sweethearts and con-men, the amazing and the dangerous. I've been lucky in the folks I've met here.

Years ago, when I first started using a computer for more than keeping records and budgets and working from home, I met a man who is still a friend to this day. I was trying to untangle my genealogical tree that grew in some Rube Goldberg-invented forest. Drew helped teach me to sort through branches that had been tossed all over history. It was fun and I learned a lot. Never did untangle our family tree, but...

Since meeting Drew, I've met probably 8 or 9 people who really have made differences - good or bad - in my day-to-day life. Because of them, I've learned things - whether I agree with what I learn or not. They have given me new ways of looking at parts of life I am familiar with, and have shined a light into corners I never knew were there. I "know" people I have never met who teach me, encourage me and tell me the truth about myself. They share their wisdom and insight and point of view.

My mother always loved this verse from the Bible:

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (Hebrews 13:2)

Like with so many things, the older I get, the more I understand of what my mother tried to teach me. Ten years ago, I didn't really understand what she was talking about when she tried to explain why it's important to open your heart to people. I understand it now. She wasn't talking about what I could do for them, she was trying to teach me what they could do for me.

This might be a physics thing, but I heard something interesting once about our individual impact on existence. Not any one of us can come into another person's life without having some sort of influence - minor or major. It's like touching the surface of a pond and starting a ripple. I find that very fascinating to think about.

I am not always a good person. I can be very selfish and vain and foul-mouthed and childish. For as flawed as I am, though, I have been lucky to "entertain" some really special people who happened to come into my orbit. (See? Modest too!)

Thanks, +Drew Williams +Sandy Sandmeyer +Alex Taller +Julia Hawkins

I don't mean, "Thank you" in a random, I-was-feeling-emotional-today kind of way. I mean, "Thank you," seriously. If I never hear from any of you ever again, you have started ripples somewhere on my mind or heart. That's a little corny, but I mean it.

There's more I could say about you guys, but, hey - the internet is only so big. I don't want my blog to use up all the room!

Peace
--Free