**REVIEW** Experiencing Zenni Optical (Final UPDATE, Finally)

Okay. I am now a lot happier with Zenni. For one thing, customer service bent over backward to be helpful. Apparently, I checked off the wrong box somewhere when ordering the first pair. They let me return those and apply the credit to another pair. On top of that, they actually sent me the exact numbers I should have input the first time. Probably they were thinking, "This poor idiot here..."

When you get your Zenni glasses, you get a couple of little goodies - a cleaning rag and a Hello Fresh coupon - all in a cute but thin plastic mailer.  The standard glasses case is Dollar Store basic-looking but it is at least protective.You also get several special rulers for measuring your PD. 

You will need this!

(A little advice: Don't toss that mailer bag. You can use it should you have to do a return. As a matter of fact, keep everything until you're sure of your order. I'm so glad I did.)

Anyway, for my replacement glasses, I chose a much cuter frame design that I had not previously noticed. I also went with smaller lenses. Good thing because they work better with this super-short haircut I have now. The color choices were grey and gold. I went with grey because I tend to prefer silver & white gold jewelry over gold but...

They look much cuter in person

I love the nice metal &
the cute design

I'm starting to really like the gold frames
the more I look at them

...the gold ones are cute! Because these were only $15.95, I'd get the gold if I need to replace the greys.

Since the refunded pair was $19.95, I used the rest of my credit for a case...

I wanted to see how it looked in a purse

...because the standard case does the job but not with any style!

Yeah, the standard on the right is... meh

So I guess I would recommend Zenni Optical. However, do your measurements carefully. Better yet, have them done for you - either at a walk-in optical shop or by a friend. Also, check and double-check your prescription and use all the how-to videos on the website.

For around $16 (+s&h), I got a really nice and durable pair of prescription readers. I'll be mad if they get lost or broken but I won't be eighty-five dollars worth of mad like when I lost a previous pair.

Another bonus with Zenni is that, if I keep using them (and I probably will), I will earn points/rewards and so on. I still hate the initial learning curve in using the site but now I can just re-order. My script is on file and good for 2 years.

And that is my Zenni experience.

**UPDATE**

Someone from Zenni did get in touch to tell me about their return/credit-refund policy. And they told me to try wearing the glasses until I adjust to them (?). Uh, nah. I'm good, sis. 

Here's the thing: I paid 20 bucks for the glasses. They didn't work out for me. I'm not going to spend money to return them for a chance to get another pair of glasses. The glasses didn't work because of a flaw (possibly of mine) in the process. You have to be pretty careful about measuring in order to get a useable pair of glasses. If I only had mild vision problems, I'd try again but I don't want to make my vision worse by trying to save some money. 

While not ideal, I think I will stick to using OTC reading glasses on the days when I am resting my eyes from the contacts.

Not all people have my experience. Obviously. Zenni is a hit with several people I know, My niece loves ordering from them and I think she now belongs to their little "club". 

 Welp. I finally took a chance and ordered some glasses from Zenni Optical. I didn't jump in blindly though.

One of my nieces has ordered from Zenni - more than once - and has been happy with her purchases. And Walmart ticked me off the last time I went in for an eye exam.

The doc was nice enough - very nice, in fact. My problem is with the pricing of frames and glasses. For a simple pair of prescription readers, I was looking at paying at least $100 for some simple (and ugly) frames. For around $49 I could get super simple and hyper ugly frames. (Yes, there are cheaper frames but only if you want Dollar Store quality.) Then there would be a charge for the lenses. And, of course, they want to hype the add-ons. So, let's say $150 minimum for some readers.

I was already a little heated that I had to call and have them mail me a signed copy of my prescriptions. I wasn't wearing my contacts when I walked out of the store so I didn't notice that the script for the contacts or glasses was signed.

Anyway.

I have a year's worth of contacts (my script is good for 2 years) but I like having glasses to wear while taking a break from contacts. So in order to get a decent-looking pair of readers without having to take out a personal loan, I decided to give Zenni's a try.

The prices are great but the ordering process is... oh boy.

You have to know how to read your prescription. Really. I didn't even know that my pupillary distance wasn't automatically listed on my script. No. Back it up. I didn't even know there was such a thing as "pupillary distance". 

Pupillary distance (PD) measures the distance between the centers of your pupils. (from Zenni)

I was at another doc to get my eyes checked for problems with the sarcoidosis. I got one of the ladies up front to do the PD measurement for me. That was the easy part.

Back on Zenni, I had to figure out and/or choose:

• whether I had single or dual PD numbers.
• width and or length of the frame, bridge, lens, and temple arm.
• what type of material I wanted. There were just too many choices,
• what shape - oval, aviator, blah, blah, blah.

I just took measurements from my old glasses and tapped out on getting into the details. I decided to just browse through the available square-shaped frames - sorted from lowest to highest price. Trust me, that whittles down the list of choices to fool with.

Finally, I found this pair -

Plain and simple but not too ugly. I think I'm getting some sexy librarian vibes. Or maybe just sexy old lady vibes. Whatever. The only people who will see me wearing these are my neighbors (who can't see too well anyway) and anyone at Walmart on the days when I go there without my contacts. Oh and...

...there's that price I just didn't expect. 

With shipping & handling, I paid less than 25 bucks for a (hopefully) decent pair of readers.

So what about bifocals?

If I decide to go back for bifocals - and I am thinking about it - the price came up to just under $80. But that was high-index progressive lenses with anti-reflective coating.

That's not bad considering I'm getting frames and lenses. And I am sure that there are codes to be found online somewhere to shave a few pennies off the total price. 

What's the bottom line of the ordering process?

It can be tedious. The worse thing is that once you have something in your cart, it's very tricky to make adjustments. I started out with the $80 pair before I remembered that I am seeing 3 doctors and a dentist in the next few weeks. The out-of-pocket costs can nickel and dime a sister in the poorhouse. So I decided to change up and just get readers for now. Well, that was insanely difficult to do. I had to totally back out of the cart and start all over again.

I do like that I can store more than one version of my script. I now have one for bifocals and another for the readers. Now when I go back to order the bifocals, I can pull that up and place the order.

The waiting game

• June 6th -  I ordered the glasses. I was talking to a nurse at a doc appointment and she raved about the cute Zenni glasses she was wearing. She told me about the rewards program they have and now I am just too excited.
• June 9th - I got an email informing me that the glasses are "being manufactured". There is a link to check the status but the link takes me to a Rewards tracking page. The Order Status (when I locate it) is shown to be "Manufactured/En Route to Distribution Center". That is a little confusing. Are they saying that the glasses have been made and are now about to be shipped to me?  I do some googling and learn from a Zenni Tweet that it means that "the glasses have completed production and are on the way to our shipping center". Okay. I'm getting excited. Or anxious?
• June 10th - I am starting to doubt my choice of frame. I went with something similar to the sunglasses that look good on me. However, reading glasses aren't darkly tinted. Maybe I will just look like a super-nerd and not the sexy-nerd type? Oh boy. I am starting to overthink this...

The Plane! The Plane. They're here!

It is June 16th and the glasses have arrived. So. What do I think? First off, they are cute as heck and everything I wanted. The completely match the online photos.

Lenses so clear they're invisible! 

The packaging was cheap (but so is the price, right?) but the glasses were well-protected in a hard casing. Also, there were a lot of those rulers for the next time I have to measure the PD...

They even look cute on me (and mine is the only opinion that matters!).

I miss being able to smile!

I love everything about these glasses. 

Except...

I can't see with them. I can see better - but not great - at a distance. I cannot see well enough for reading. These were meant to be my reading specs when I am resting from wearing contacts. 

The glasses are just the tiniest bit off in every way. I think the prescription is just a little bit off. Off enough that everything looks obscured by a heatwave. It's very frustrating.

Summary

I have written Zenni just to let them know what issues I am having. I told them that I won't be applying for a refund. As I understand it, I can get a 50% credit back to my payment method or a 100% store credit. I paid 20 bucks for the glasses, folks. I'm not sure I care that much at this point. I might ask for a store credit and go for the same glasses with some input from someone at Zenni.

So, there you go. If the prescription had worked, I would be ready to spend at least $100 at Zenni. The frame quality on this pair is lovely and I can't say enough how much I like the frames. But the prescription didn't work. I can find a really good pair of non-prescription reading glasses for $20 that won't give me a headache.

Keep in mind that my niece and someone in one of my doctor's office raves about their Zenni glasses. Maybe I just need to try again another time?

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** Fantasy Intimate Edition Eau de Parfum (from Britney Spears)

 This is the other of the two fragrances I bought for my birthday:

You already know about the first fragrance from my previous post. I love, love, love that one but I have to say... this one is also getting to be up there with my top 5 of the past several years.

As with all my fragrances, I always want to see what Frangrantica has to say. For this one, as with the Cheirosa ’62, Fragrantica listed some of the accords I love the most.

 

The only thing missing for me on that chart is the caramel. However, I can actually smell a little of it in the actual perfume. This is the "pyramid" of notes for this one:

The very first time I tried the perfume, I was not impressed. As a matter of fact, I really regretted buying it. It was, I thought, too candy-like and "young-ish" for me. Of what smelled slightly grown-up, I got too much citrus (lemon?) and something flowery that I never like in a perfume. 

I hate when I blind-buy a fragrance only not to like it. I don't have money to play with like that. So I was upset with myself. (But I have to say that the bottle is super cute. From the online photos, I thought it looked cheap and toy-like, but, nope. It's glass and heavy enough to use as a weapon.)

Now, I'd had a fresh shower that morning and had used one of my lotions without paying attention to which one it was. I have several lotions and creams and oils that I use, depending on the weather. It's really humid this past week so I haven't been using my heavier moisturizers. When I checked, I realized I had used some Palmer's. Palmer's lotion has cocoa butter in it and you definitely smell that ingredient! I realized that this might have thrown off the Fantasy perfume.

I waited a couple of days before giving Brit-Brit's fragrance another try and, in the meantime, I just enjoyed some body mists. (And, oh, yeah, I lied about getting only two things for myself so I will have to tell you about the other things later...)

After my next shower, I remembered to go fragrance-free with the moisturizer. I used some of my fragrance-free Neutrogena oil. I love that stuff for these hot and humid days. It's light and silky-feeling without being greasy. 

This time Fantasy was everything I wanted. It hit all the vanilla and amber highs that I like and had just enough "powder" scent to make me feel super-feminine. It's light enough for daytime wear but I think that it could be used for date night if I, you know, felt like dating.

The longer I wore the perfume, the more I loved it. I'd put it on around 8-ish that morning and by the time I had my second coffee at 10, it was doing something new. The sharpness of the citrus had died down and the vanilla and that caramel I'd sensed were showing up and showing out. Nicely. 

Damn! I smelled so good I wished I did feel like dating! Someone else needed to experience this grown-woman sexiness. I went out of my apartment - as I try hard to do as little as possible - to return something to the building manager. As soon as I was in her office, she did a double-take. "Ooo, you smell good, Ms. Trudy." (Note: She is the only one around here who notices things like this. She's young enough to still have a good sense of smell and sight.) So...

Thank you. Thank you very much, Britney boo. I hope that you find all the love and happiness you yearn for, you darling lady.

By the way, the perfume lasted well into the evening. I think I stopped being able to notice it around 7 or 8 that night. Not bad. Just like with the Cheirosa '62, I will start spraying some on my clothes if I want them to last even longer.

Buying this fragrance by Britney reminds me of something. Some years back, when one of my older nieces was visiting, I had asked what she was wearing. She is not big on perfumes and usually sticks to body sprays. This time, she smelled luscious and it could not just be a simple body spray. She looked a little embarrassed and, as if she were admitting to a crime, she whispered, "Jessica Simpson. It's called 'Fancy'."

What is up with these formerly teeny-bopper hotties? How are they killing the game with these amazing fragrances??? I love the idea that they are capitalizing on their celebrity to enrich themselves without becoming has-been jokes. 

I checked (yes, Fragrantica) to see who or what is behind Britney's perfumes. The parent company is Elizabeth Arden and there are at least 6 perfumers working on the scents. Simpson is with a different parent company but also works with several perfumers. (Guess which perfumes I will be putting on future gift lists?)

Back to this Fantasy fragrance...

I have now worn this solo for several days but I have also paired it with the Solinotes Vanille (which was a total disappointment by itself) and also with some Eos Vanilla Cashmere lotion. Fantasy elevates the heck out of the Vanille. I'd been wanting to toss that odorless mess in the trash at one point. Now I will keep it because it creates a sweeter vanilla scent when combined with Fantasy.

Now, the Vanilla Cashmere lotion is the strongest scented lotion I have ever used. Ever. If you ever wanted a vanilla scent without buying a perfume, this is your groove. It's lovely and, pro tip: it really does remind me of Donna Karan's Cashmere. Truly.

About 7 bucks 
worth every nickel

The lotion though did not pair well with Fantasy. The lotion's scent was kind of trying to outshout the vanilla in the Fantasy. The combination had me smelling like a food fight between vanilla custard and lemon-nilla pie. I like dessert scents but this one was just a bit too much.

Oh well.

Anyway, as I said, I had added this perfume to my top 5. And my top 5 for the last 5 years? They are, in no set order:

1. Lalique (I've only ever tried a sample because, you know, my budget🙄)
2. Fantasy Intimate Edition
3. JHAG Not A Perfume (usually at the very top of the list)
4. Glossier You (the solid, not the bottle which never lasts more than 5 seconds)
5. Cheirosa '62 (this is another new favorite & I actually would prefer the Cheirosa '71 if it came in a perfume instead of just a mist)

Back in the day, I had a couple of "signature" scents with Shalimar (the vintage because the stuff from the past 10 years is, in my opinion, garbage) being the all-time Number One. The Flori Roberts Gold fragrance is no longer being made, but I loved it so much that I once thought about having a reproduction done by one of those formulating houses. This is back when I was making good money though.

Oh, and remember when I said I lied about only getting myself two gifts? Well, I used some of my gift card gifts (?) to get a couple of other fragrances. Technically, I didn't buy the gifts but, since the cards are from Visa, I suppose I could have bought something a little more necessary. But it's my freaking birthday month!

Using my Target cards, I got a Mix Bar Discovery set of perfumes. I fell in love with 2 of the scents so I used the card balance to get full-sized bottles of the hair and body mists in Cloud Musk and Vanilla Bourbon. And I liked the Vanilla Bourbon sample enough to get a full bottle of the perfume. 

I haven't used any of the Mix Bar items enough yet to fully review them. I can say that I do love something about both scents. I will do a post when I've had more time to use them. I'm wondering if I will be adding to or rearranging my Favorites list???

Speaking of celebrity fragrances, when I was telling a family member about loving Fantasy, she mentioned that I will just have to try Mariah Carey's Dreams. She swears it's right up my alley as far as the notes. I checked Fragrantica and she's so right.

When my birthday month is over, I will get back to buying only necessities. For now, I'm having fun. 

Peace

--Free

Y'all, This Popcorn Popper...

Snacking is problematic for most of us. I found my safety snack: Popcorn.

Popcorn is something I can have as much of as I want. Thank Jesus. I can even have a little bit of sea salt or some popcorn seasoning with it. When I want (but can't have) chips, crackers, etc., I substitute popcorn.

Eating popcorn is not the issue now. Making it though...

I was using the Ninja for a while. I can cook just about anything in that magical appliance. However, popcorn takes a long time and it tends to scorch the pot. I needed some other way to fix my snack - an easy and quick way. I found the solution with this 10-dollar thinga-ma-jig.

The concept is that you put in some kernels, put on the cover, and pop this into the microwave for a few minutes to get what you see in that picture above.

Well, that didn't happen because that picture is a promotional, eye-teasing lie. My popper did not fill up to knock the lid off. The lid is made to sort of suction down and trap heat. That's kind of how it helps the kernels pop so fast. So, yeah-nah, that photo is for seller purposes only, apparently.

What I do get is a nice bowl of popcorn in about 6 minutes.

Trust me, that is more than enough popcorn for 2 or 3 people on Netflix night. I will make up a bowl and set it next to me while I pay bills or return emails. It keeps me from reaching for another, less-healthy snack.

By the way, I tried using this popper oil-free and that was a total bust. Almost half the kernels were left unpopped and the ones that did pop were bland as cardboard. I did see reviews on Amazon that said the popcorn turned out great without any oil so I guess it depends on what you like.

I always use either about a quarter tablespoon of salt-free butter or a couple teaspoons of olive oil. If I use butter, I put it in first and then sprinkle about 3 tablespoons of kernels on top. Using oil, I put the kernels in first, then the oil. I stir it all around to make sure the oil coats the kernels. I always add my salt or butter seasoning last. Sometimes, I don't add any seasoning.

You have to figure out how much time your microwave needs to work with this. My microwave is about 1000watts and it takes about 4 1/2   to 5 minutes to pop 3 tablespoons with butter or oil. Keep your eye on this while popping though. I walked away once to answer the house phone and let the microwave go over by a few minutes. I singed the popcorn badly.

Once I learned to use this contraption, I was in love. I have popcorn almost every day now. Some days, all I eat is popcorn. I like this thing so much that I am going to be buying more for Christmas presents this year. Kids love popcorn and this way they can have a snack that is a lot healthier than what they will get pre-made.

Oh, and this is a cheap way to snack. I can get a large bag of popcorn at the local market for about a dollar. Those packaged pouches of buttered or otherwise flavored (and not as healthy) popcorn can run a 50 cents to a dollar per pouch - even for the store brands. So this popper has paid for itself a couple of times.

If you like popcorn, look at getting this or something like it. There are various sellers online. The one I have is the Korcci Microwaveable Silicone Popcorn Popper and it cost just under 10 dollars when I got it. I'm sure that there will be some on sale during the holidays.

I'll go ahead and pop out now. Hahaha

Peace

--Free

**REVIEW** SOL Cheirosa ’62 Eau de Parfum (from Sol de Janeiro)

It's my birthday month so I am going to be getting spoiled. I already got myself 2 things I've been wanting for a while - both are fragrances. The first one is this SOL Cheirosa ’62 Eau de Parfum that I got from Sephora.

This is the $26 8ml bottle

I started wanting this ever since I tried a body mist from the brand. Then I read about it over on Fragrantica and really had to have some. This graphic about the scent from Fragrantica is as if ripped out of my dreams of the perfect fragrance.

My 2 faves right at the top!

Here are the notes found in the fragrance. Now that I think of it, apparently, I only ever pay attention to the base notes of a fragrance...

Anyway.

You might think you have never heard of the Sol de Janeiro brand but you probably have at least heard of their famous Bum Bum Cream. I'm pretty sure that any female having a "hot girl summer" has heard of this cream. 

It's been many years since I was even interested in having a hot girl summer. About 5 years ago, my post-menopausal body ensured I was having very unpleasant hot girl winters though... I just got past that stage of life but I do still love to smell great. And this perfume loves my body chemistry.

I've never tried Bum Bum Cream but I've been told that it smells a lot like this perfume. I was also told third-hand that the perfume came about because of the popularity of the cream's scent. 

However it came to be, I'm glad for it. This perfume gives off tropical-sugary-powdery vibes with a caramel lift. It's a versatile scent and can be worn for a day out or for a date night. I wear perfumes almost solely for my own pleasure so I wear this any time I need a mood lift. It makes me feel like I've been out in the sunshine even when I've really been holed up inside avoiding people.

I already have been using the Cheirosa '71 Hair & Body Fragrance Mist that I got from Amazon a while back. I love, love, love that fragrance. I like the scent of it even more than I do this '62 Eau de Parfum. The '71 is more caramel and honey-like than this one. They are both of the sun-kissed tropi-floral type but... the '71 is just sweeter and more brown-sugar-y in my opinion.

This perfume lasts longer than the mist. That sounds like a no-brainer but not all perfumes have staying power and not all body mists are weak. Usually, my skin acts like baking soda because it tends to soak up and neutralize fragrances no matter what concentration. I've griped about that before and I thought I was going to be stuck using only oils like those from Kuumba Made. Those are nice but they are very one-dimensional.

In addition to the longevity of this, I like that it's noticeable without being 'loud'. It starts off being strong enough for someone about 3 feet away to smell but it calms down fast. I think it took about 10 minutes for it to go from really sweet and fruity to a nice delicate caramel-vanilla fragrance with some faint powder. You'd have to be standing next to me to notice it. I love that. 

I like this enough that I would love to get the larger bottle one day. Maybe next year? Right now, I can tell that this little 8ml size is going to last a while. It truly only takes the smallest of a spritz to get a nice effect. I did a small spritz on my wrist this morning to test it out and about an hour later, dabbed my throat am bosom with a touch of it. That was about 6 hours ago. I can still get a whiff when I bring my wrist near my nose. I suppose I could always spray my blouse if I want it to stay above a whisper.

$78 for 50ml

So, yeah. I am happy with this fragrance. I like it enough that I will always have it on a list to get more. As I said, it was one of 2 birthday gifts from myself. The other was a bottle of ~wait for it, wait for it~

Fantasy Intimate Edition from Britney Spears. Yes, chile. Leave Britney alone!

Before you turn that snooty nose up, let me tell you: Brit Brit slapped her name on a nice fragrance. I will be reviewing that tomorrow.

Peace

--Free

Life Is Only As You Make It

 Don't think that I am trying to say that life is easy or that every problem is manageable. I'm not talking about the horribly and hugely awful things that can happen. Trust me. I have had some horrible and hugely awful things happen in my life and dealing with them has not been easy. There are times when I really relate to Mahalia and I do wonder how I got over it all.

What I'm talking about are the small hills that I can make into mountains. When it comes to that, I am practically a structural engineer. 

Yesterday, I was mad because I was craving pizza. A while back, I would have just called up Azzolina's or Casey's - even a take-and-bake from Aldi's was making me drool. 

But.

I can't just indulge my pizza (or burger or taco or Chinese or fill-in-the-fast-food blank) cravings like I used to. Because of my sarcoidosis and my age and my complaining kidneys, I have to watch the phosphates, potassium, sodium, oxalates, and blah-blah-blah... It's a wonder I am allowed to eat anything!

If you have never seen John Pinette go off about having to give up gluten, do your funny bone a favor and go check that out. John felt about giving up gluten the way I feel about giving up what I call pho-pot-so-xalates.

Unlike the late and wonderful Mr. Pinette, I can have gluten. As long as it's not in whole wheat form. I now make entire meals from toasted French bread with olive oil, garlic, and a little parmesan cheese. That's actually all I had for lunch yesterday and it was so glorious I had no need to eat dinner. If John could see me, he'd be so jealous because not one gram of my bread is low-carb, praise the Lord.

Now, this is how first-world selfish I am at times. Scrounging my fridge and pantry, I was in mid-gripe about not being able to just have a few slices of pizza when I realized how blessed my life is. My pantry was so full that I was having to move things around just to see what all was in it. And my fridge? That thing is so loaded that I can't clean it because I don't want to unpack all the goodies in there.

I had to stop and chastise myself. Then I went back into the pantry and found some of those little mini pizza crusts from the Mama Cozzi line. I had some of the meal-prepped pre-measured packs of ground beef and cheese and seasonings all ready to go. 

It took maybe 18 minutes to brown the meat and throw together a little pizza to bake up in the Foodi.

Stop.

Think about the last couple of sentences and ask just how selfish and ungrateful I can be. Let's see: 

• I have enough food to prep meals a week at a time;
• I have ground beef - 85% lean, no less! - when meat prices are crazy;
• I found some pizza crusts in that overly-stocked pantry;
• I have cheese and oil and...
• ... a freaking appliance that does all kinds of amazing things.

Let's get even more basic and note that I have a roof over my head, a kitchen with water and electricity, and...

What was I griping about? I forgot because I was too busy counting all those blessings.

Anyway.

I ended up with a tasty little pizza that satisfied my cravings without throwing my nutrition scores out of whack.

I even had some olives for this treat

So I guess what I'm saying is that life can be as ~ fill in the blank ~ as I make it. I can be sad about what I don't have or rejoice in what I do have. I can give more of my time and attention to negative feelings or I can think about how I've gotten over so much already.

Losing loved ones didn't take keep me down. Losing my health - and my glorious figure 🤣- didn't take keep me down. Losing a husband didn't take keep me down. Losing my best friend didn't take keep me down. All these hurtful things knocked me down but just for a moment. 

Tomorrow is another day but it's not mine to claim. I can only live as if I have this moment because, well, that is all I do have. I choose at this moment to be thankful. And, now I am going to go make up another delicious bread plate.

Peace

--Free

Just Something Beautiful

 Saw this on Reddit. So beautiful. I could look at this all day. 

I have a niece and nephew who are twins. I've heard them say things like, "it's a twin thing". Now I totally get it.

Peace

--Free

**CROSS POST** That Sparkling Juice From Aldi’s…

(I posted this in my blog on CKD but... I know that a lot of people would enjoy this sparkling juice so I will share it here. The only person I've met that doesn't like this is one of my SILs. I think she has twisted tastebuds or something!) 

I know I have issues when something as simple as a beverage can cheer me up. Tonight, I ordered groceries from Aldi's just so I could get this deliciousness. 

Aldis Nature's Nectar
Sparkling Juices

I love this stuff so much that I want to dedicate this song to it.

Doesn't take much at all to make me happy. 

I tried this sparkling juice just once before and it was so yummy. The problem is, everyone else loves it as much as I do so it tends to sell out about 2 minutes after it hits the shelves. It's been on Instacart a few times since that first time but by the time I see it, every can is absolute ghost.

Tonight, I was in luck. I saw the juice while browsing Instacart for some pasta sauce and a few other groceries that I was only thinking about buying. Hah. I immediately threw together an order with that juice at the top of the list. When one of my favorite Instacart shoppers texted to say Aldis not only had that flavor but a bunch of variations, I told him to just grab what he could. 

The best thing about this juice is that it is not too CKD-unfriendly. As long as you don't go overboard... According to Cronometer, when I checked the minerals for one can...

(minerals) Nature's Nectar

Because the drinks are sweet, I find that I can drink half of one and save the rest for later. My sweet tooth has abated a lot in the past few years. Sometimes, I will empty the second half of the can into a glass of San Pellegrino - my other favorite drink when I'm craving bubbles and fizz.

(minerals) San Pellegrino plain

One can every four or five days is plenty. I haven't had soda pop in years and don't know how I ever drank so much Dr. Pepper and Coke. There are times though when I want something flavorful and bubbly. This juice hits the spot. It's sweet but not sickenly so. It's bubbly without having that irritating burn of some carbonated drinks.

Ever since my last thrilling doctor's appointment, I have had no trouble sticking to this eating regimen. It's keeping me healthy but, as the doctor reminded me, I can lighten up every now and then. She approved of my coffee drinks with the macadamia milk and she loves the Cronometer app that helps keep me on track.

Tonight, I am going to break my nothing-but-water-after-7 rule and have one of these drinks. I might even have a piece of cheese toast to go with it.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: By the way, when I couldn't find this particular juice a long while back, I looked for alternatives. I made the HUGE mistake of trying that over-hyped WTRMLN drink. All I can say about that is that it's great but only if you like the taste of rank watermelon rind water.

**UPDATE** Meal Prep Is Not for Sissies

See bottom of post for the update photos...

I'm not playing when I tell you that meal prepping nearly broke my soul. Talk about being a meal prep dropout. I didn't even make it past cooking more than one part of a meal...

This was my first time seriously attempting to put together 5 days' worth of meals. People, I did not make it. I just couldn't. I did manage to set up 5 separate servings of pasta and get the seasonings for each meal measured out. And that wore me out.

Not my kitchen, but...

This kitchen looks CLEAN compared to my own!

What I intended to do was put together a pasta meal for every night of the week. Sounds good, right? How hard could it be? That's what I thought.

Five minutes after I'd finished measuring and weighing the pasta and bagging the seasonings, I scrapped that plan. My next idea was to just do the pasta, the seasonings, and a protein for each night. Then the idea of weighing and cooking and sealing 5 separate proteins started to depress me.

In the end, I kept the 5 separate bowls of pasta and bags of seasonings and wrote out a menu plan for the rest - I'm not sure I should call it a "menu. It looks like this:  

• Day 1 pasta bowl with sauce + (circle one): chicken, beef, pork, tofu + (circle one): cheese bread, garlic bread, buttered bread, other.
• Day 2 pasta bowl with (circle one): fettuccine sauce, marinara sauce, red sauce with garlic and onions.
• Day 3 pasta bowl with (circle one): fettuccine sauce and broccoli.
• Day 4 See Day 1
• Day 5 pasta bowl drizzled with warmed garlic-seasoned olive oil + (circle one) cheese bread, garlic bread, buttered bread, other.

I also worked out my sodium, potassium, and phosphorus totals for each of those meals. That way I could decide how to work in (or not) any desserts, snacks, or beverages without going over.

So, basically, I cooked and separated some pasta and seasonings, then wrote up everything I didn't prep. Oh, and I looked at funny memes about meal prepping.

This looks good to me...

My niece is a meal-prep pro. Every Sunday, she sets out all her meals for the next week. Complete meals. This is a screenshot from my phone of her actual meal prep from a couple of weeks ago.

I have no idea how she does it but she even manages to hold conversations over the phone with me most of the time. She warned me that it takes practice and stamina, and maybe a glass or two of wine. Maybe I need to start drinking wine then?

The worst thing is that my kitchen looks like a disaster area. You'd think I had prepped meals for a unit of soldiers or a boarding school cafeteria. How did that happen? I didn't actually prep any of the sauces or proteins. I didn't even separate and label the bread. 

In my defense... Unlike my niece, I can't just prep the meals and call it good. I have to enter everything into my Cronometer app. I love that thing but they need to do something to help my ignorant behind deal with the metric-to-imperial measurements. 

(Side note: I need prayer. I have a HUGE crush on this Christian astrophysicist. I get a serious headache trying to follow most of his seminars but, Lord help me, he looks so handsome. There is something about being that smart and Christian that is so, so attractive...)

Anyway.

Why didn't I ever learn the metric system? Why? It's one of those things I swore I'd never have to use (I didn't cook when I lived in England so...) but now I am dealing with recipes and nutrition labels.

And why are some nutrition labels so funky? I will see something in ml or grams when I was raised to measure by ounces. I dang near had to do college-level research when I was trying to figure out the grams for 2/3 cup of a pasta sauce. I had to work way too hard to get that right. Because, of course, 2/3 cup (or any amount) can depend on the type of ingredient being measured.

Good mercy.

I was joking to my SIL that I've gotten so good in the past few weeks at eye-balling measurements in grams and ounces that I'd make a great drug dealer. (I'm lying. I would get killed because I mismeasured something!)

So, yeah. I now have 5 partially prepped meals for next week but my kitchen is so wrecked I don't want to be in there. I will have to let you guys know how it goes next Sunday when I try this "one more again".

Peace

--Free

I think I'm getting the hang of this...

Not only did I weigh and measure every single thing but I also put all of it in the Cronometer app. All I will need to do to track meals - for 5 days anyway - is select the item and hit the time stamp. Oh, and I will have to add any bread or desserts. I'm pleased to have gotten this done without totally destroying my kitchen. Now I'm too tired to chew so I'm going to take a nap.

**CROSS POST** The Renal Diet is Working

***Nothing is really happening in my life right now except me taking care of my health. This is a shared post from my blog about CKD.***

 If I could say anything to anyone starting out with CKD issues, it would be this: "Be your own advocate. Do your own research. Ask questions until you understand the answers."

Even knowing about my CKD for a while, I didn't understand the full impact of diet and exercise until the past several months. My original nephrologist didn't tell me that eating a "healthy" diet wasn't the best thing for someone with CKD. He never explained lab results in layman's terms. And I didn't push for answers.

I had my latest appointment with my new nephrologist yesterday. Actually, she is my new nephrologist because my other one is out of the country for now. I will be seeing this lady from now on because the other one works with more critical patients and...

... I am currently doing great!

I had an ultrasound and new labs done last week and the results were outstanding. My filtration numbers are the best they've been in several months and I am at only 20% less function than a healthy person in my age range. My kidneys are a good size, shape, and texture. My urine is clear and protein-free. There is calcification, masses, or obstruction. (I'm reading from the results now and have no idea what most of this means except that it is all positive stuff!)

I discussed my diet with the doctor and she agreed that there is not enough information about the differences in a healthy diet for a "normal" person vs one with CKD. She loved the Cronometer app that I am using. She will be looking into it to see if it will be of use to others.

I went into this appointment absolutely terrified. The ultrasound is the first I have had since I was diagnosed. My biggest fear was that the results would show previously unknown damage.

This doctor also understood my concerns about the lack of diet information out there. She encourages me to keep doing what I am doing (except she says I can lighten up a bit on my food restrictions) and encouraged me to call with any questions or concerns.

I left this appointment almost floating. (With this Iowa humidity, I could have swum out the door.) I came home and immediately passed out into a nap. I haven't slept well since having the ultrasound and worrying about it. 

So this diet is working. And it's not difficult at all. I center my meals around a lot of pasta and chicken and white bread. Snacks are the cashew milk "ice cream" and popcorn (Boom Chicka is the best). I drink so much water that my bladder has gotten stronger. And my doctor has no problem with my 3 daily cups of instant espresso powder lattes. Of course, I use macadamia milk (which I've come to love) and I only add the smallest amount of chocolate.

Today was a good day. Today was an incredibly beautiful and blessed day. Now if only the humidity would go down... I am not playing when I say that the humidity is currently 90%. 

I left the house this morning with my hair looking fabulous. It was positively laid and slayed. By the time I went outside and ten steps to the car, I looked like I was wearing a chia pet for a hat. This Iowa weather does not come to play.

Right now, I am going to go have a coffee. I need it and I can have it.

Peace

--Free

Healing by Music

 Sometimes, when you are deep in your feelings - whatever those feelings are about, whether anger, love, pain - it's hard to find words to express those feelings. For a while, maybe a couple of weeks or so, I've been in a weird place. My mind gets stuck on thoughts about certain events in my past or loved ones I'm missing. When I get there, I can't unstick the gears and move out of that place. The other week, I was thinking about my best friend who recently died. I couldn't stop thinking of the five months I lived with her when I was going through a really bad time. My mind just got stuck in a bunch of memories about what was happening to me then.

When you're stuck in the quicksand of good thoughts, that's one thing. But there wasn't a lot good about my life during that five-month period - except for the fact that I had family and friends trying hard to keep me sane and whole. My best friend was so crucial to my sanity. She understood how badly my heart ached. She understood - maybe when no one else did - why I was having trouble walking away from a man who was not the right one for me.

So, recently, when thinking about my dearest friend, I somehow let my mind get stuck on the worst things about that time I lived with her. I almost could not get out of bed until the day before yesterday. I just cocooned myself in blankets and re-played bad memory after bad memory after bad memory. I've been stuck like that before but this time just ran me into a bout of depression that was dangerous.

I knew - or felt - that if I could just come out from under for a little bit of brightness, I might be okay. But I couldn't pull myself up. It didn't help at all that our weather has been grey and stormy. Damnit, Iowa.

During bad weather days, I have a habit of listening to music on YouTube. I will pick one song and then just let the algorithm select what follows. Here's what I was finally able to grab hold of and lift myself up.

The music was like air. I felt like I did when I was younger and my mother would hold me and just let me cry - about work, or over a loss, or in anger and frustration. I felt soothed.

Here's what's crazy: I am so ignorant about classical music that I didn't even understand the title of this piece. I had to Google the YouTube title to learn anything about where it comes from. (I can fake my way through a conversation about classical music by tossing out phrases like, "Beethoven's Sonata .... blah blah blah" and hope no one calls me on it. Other than that, music is, for me, like art: I only know what I like.)

So, after days of only leaving my bed to make trips to the bathroom and to get water, I was able to shake off my bedcovers and sit up. I put that song on repeat and listened to it for probably an hour. Then I got out of bed and took a shower (at 5 in the afternoon), washed and combed my nappy hair, and then had a little something to eat. I was up until after midnight, catching up on emails and text messages. When I went back to bed, I didn't just cover my head to keep out the world, but I actually slept and rested.

What is it about music? Why is it that this song was for me like David playing the harp for Saul? I think I figured it out. 

One reason I probably had never heard that particular piece before is that I tend to limit my dabblings in certain parts of art and culture. I'm great about reading any kind of book. When it comes to art, I refuse to consider anything that wanders too far from the likes of Georgia O'Keeffe, Ernie Barnes, or whoever did the Ohio Players album covers. I listen to all types of music - classical, jazz, blues, R&B, Rock, etc - but I get irritated by anything that doesn't immediately fit my ears' ideas of what that music should be. Basically, I'm kind of a cultural bumpkin.

One positive thing about me (I think) is that I can be introspective. I might be screwed up in a lot of ways but I like to understand how and why I am screwed up. So I started thinking about why I limit myself to certain kinds of art, literature, music, food, people, etc. That's a river too long and deep to swim this day but I did come up with why I don't appreciate more genres of music.

Here's the thing (and pardon me for getting poetic and flowery): Music is so diverse that you have to want to or have a reason to understand the different types. I don't have a good ear for good music. That's because I never developed an ear for it. When it comes to music (and some art), I am the Ugly American who only speaks English and wants everyone else to speak enough of it so that I can understand them. And music is a sort of language.

My father loved all kinds of music. ALL kinds. He tried to get me to appreciate the Blues and Jazz. I liked what I liked and pushed the rest under my napkin so I didn't even have to look at it. Yecch. 

It's me with failing at learning a spoken language all over again. I spent some of my early years around mostly Mexican neighbors. The only Spanish words and phrases I remember are ones that can't be spoken in church. Same thing with Welsh. In my early twenties, a friend taught me several phrases and I forgot all of them except how to tell someone to kiss my ass. I even forgot that several years back.

Again, music is like spoken language. It's about all the same emotions and yearnings and pain and sexual desires. Some are in the language of the Blues or in the poetry of Rap, or... You get what I mean.

My problem is, that I have limited myself to speaking and hearing only what I like. There's so much more out there.

That beautiful piece of music that lifted me up has been around since 1880. (And, yeah, my dumbass had to look that up.) That could have been a good thing in my life since I first ever wanted to hear any kind of music.

How sad that I have been missing something that I love, not because I was blind but because I refused to see.

Anyway.

I resolve not to limit myself. I want to at least know what it is I am missing.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: If you can't tell, this is not the best day for my sarc. It's acting up and I am having trouble expressing my thoughts in a coherent way. Thankfully, there is a new specialist at the local hospital and I won't have to drive a couple of counties away to be seen. I should be communicating more clearly soon.

Vegas Memories

Just a bit of a memory stroll today. 

I ran across this and thought of a fun December trip to Vegas a few years ago. 

What a show these guys put on! One of my older brothers and favorite SIL (Psst! They all are my favorites!) had such fun. 

This is what I remember from the day and night we were there: 

• My SIL (from Arizona) was wearing a freaking mini parka because she was cold (what?) in the 68-degree weather. My body was still Alaska-nized/Iowa-ized so I was wearing shorts and drinking anything that had ice in it. 
• I got drunk off 2 drinks) at the bar in Crush with the SIL.
• After Crush, my cheap drunk self thought I was hallucinating when we walked past the Jabba's store and the "mannequins" suddenly came alive for a moment.
• The SIL and I drank some more and drinking made me want to smoke again. I paid something like $15 for a single pack of cigarettes - because I bought them in the hotel instead of going to a convenience store outside down the street... I was more than happy to go back off the tobacco immediately after that trip but I smoked like a hooker's coochie for 2 days.
• The show we had bought tickets for was canceled while we were standing in line to board the flight to Vegas. We decided to go ahead and make the trip. Since we were staying at the Grand where the dancers were being featured, I chose to see the Jabbawockeez Jreamz show instead. We stopped at a street kiosk on the Strip to find another attraction, and...
• the 3 of us tried hard not to laugh out loud on the street as we watched a couple of 80-year-old women who'd been on our flight hilariously cuss out the artist who'd pulled the no-show.
• I (again, coming from Alaska - home of the best pot in the world - or so I've heard) got absolutely wasted just breathing the weed fumes while walking down the Strip. My brother practically had to hold me up. And it's Vegas so no one noticed. 
• I couldn't help myself and started crying (probably cos I was still unintentionally high) while watching the Fountains of Bellagio synced to "Oh, Holy Night".
• The Jreamz show was amazing. I got my hand kissed by a Jabba who came through the audience pre-show and I am to this day trying to understand what is so sexy about a man who can dance even when you have no idea what they look like.
• My brother tried not to show it but he liked the show as much as the SIL and I did - and we were dancing in our seats through the whole show.
• Even at my age, I love being with my family. Being with any of my brothers always makes me feel safe and loved. Being with my SILs makes me feel like part of an exclusive group of crazy-sexy-cool ladies.

This is not the first nor will it be the last time I say this: the best gift my parents ever gave me is my sister and brothers. We don't always like each other but we love each other always. Watching that newer video from the Jabbas brought back a lot of good memories. 

Peace

--Free

Caffeine (via Instant Espresso Powder) is Life Right Now

 Being on my new renal diet for the CKD is going well but only because I found a new way to get my caffeine fix. And let me just pause right now to thank the good Lord in heaven that I can still have my daily coffee. Without regular sex, cigarettes, and alcohol, coffee is life.

If you have checked my blog about this whole CKD thing, you know that I've struggled with adjusting my diet to keep this sarcoidosis (and the sarc meds) from killing my kidneys. So far, so good. I hope. The thing is, I've had to give up a lot of my favorite foods. Cutting back on the food has not bothered me as much as I expected. But the coffee thing...

When I make "regular" coffee - that is, coffee brewed in the machine - I tend to use too much sugar and dairy creamer. I have learned to substitute dairy products with nut and plant creamers. Rice milk and macadamia milk are the two I tolerate best. Still, they seem to weaken the flavor of the coffee. So I have switched over to having a couple of espresso-based drinks each day. And you know what? If I have a good mocha, I don't miss some of my food. Seriously. Not having my Greek yogurt or collard greens or pinto bean stew... Not good on a bad coffee day but, with decent coffee, I can deal.

Keep in mind that just late last year, I bought a new coffee maker. A freaking Ninja that is suddenly on sale - after I took a big chunk of my measly budget to buy one. The same machine is now about 30 bucks cheaper. To make matters worse, I find that I've hardly used the thing in the past three or four weeks. Because... espresso.

After one of my recent doctor's visits - where we had to dang near ride across the state to get to - my family and I stopped so I could treat us to a coffee at an actual shop. I treated myself extra and got a mocha. It was the most delicious thing I've had in a minute. And I realized that I was enjoying coffee for the first time in a while. 

The problem with coffee shop drinks is that they are pricey. And I'd have to actually leave my home to get one. You probably know that I don't like leaving my home. Outside and I are not friends. There are people out there. And germs. And stress. And anxiety. I leave my home for food (when I don't order in), medical care, and family. If a tornado ever touches down here, I will leave to take shelter at the church across the street. Maybe. It depends on how bad the tornado acts up.

Anyway. I was talking about coffee. And my renewed love for espresso.

So. I allow myself to have one espresso-based drink in the morning and another one around midday. If I'm really dragging ass, I will have a second midday drink. The only thing I'm careful about is adding the chocolate sauce. Chocolate is one of those delicious things I can only have in moderation these days. And that's fine. I can skip the chocolate and just have the... Latte? That's the mocha minus the chocolate, right?

The tough thing was finding a cheap way to make espresso. I looked at the various machines. I figured I could swap out the Ninja coffeemaker for a budget espresso maker. Ha! There is no such thing as a budget espresso maker. There are some affordable makers but most of them don't seem to get the best reviews from other users. Mostly though, what bothers me is that some machines look so complicated. I'm pretty sure I could blow myself up just using one. I went to Reddit for help. Some comments were informative but we are talking Reddit so...

Reddit and the coffee subs

When my family learned that I was looking for an espresso maker, they offered to get me one but I don't like them gifting me things outside of Christmas or my birthday. Besides, I'd probably blow up my kitchen trying to mess with an espresso maker. That's a thing, right? Of course, there are the Nespresso machines - and they aren't too, too expensive for the lower-end models but... I quickly realized that Nespresso - or De'Longhi or whoever - isn't making money on the machines. They are making the real bucks on the coffee. 

I got so excited when I found a Nespresso/De'Longhi machine that I could kinda-sorta-afford (only because of the flex plan on one of my credit cards and I have some Amazon credits), that I had it in my cart and ready to go. Thank God for an excellent credit rating, right?

The machine and...

...the payment plan

...Then I went looking for coffee capsules that would work with the machine, and... Yeah, no, that's not going to happen.

I get 35-45 servings from a $12 jar of Nescafe

Anyway.

I now have about 6 machines and coffee packages sitting in my Saved For Later cart on Amazon. In the meantime, I looked around for another way to have espresso. And I found it.

And no worries about a machine

A good brand of instant coffee isn't as awful as most coffee snobs might say but it's not my go-to. The only instant coffees I like for my dalgona coffee are the Aldis Beaumont brand and the standard Nescafe. 

The Nescafe Gold that is imported from Canada (and why is everything Canadian always better than the American version???) is truly gold. 

My brother, who once owned a coffee shop years back, laughed at the idea of making an espresso from an instant powder. Then I made him a mocha. He's not laughing now. I gave him and my SIL a bottle of the Nescafe as a good old Southern "bless your heart". It's how we say "Told you so".

I use Torani chocolate sauce (in moderation) and the only complaint I have is that my drinks never stay as hot as long as the ones from the coffee shop. That's probably because I always serve them in my cute little cup and saucer for eye appeal. Who am I trying to impress? I'm going to try serving them in my short thermal mug from now on.

Now, I am not sure if all instant espresso is as good as this Nescafe. I can tell you that I got some Cafe Bustelo and it's good coffee, in general, but it does not even try to foam the way the Nescafe does. The Nescafe will start to make a crema (?) the minute I add a few drops of the water with no prompting. I stirred and rotated the hell out of the cup with the Bustelo and it was just... yeah.

Messy but you 
get my point

By the way, the Bustelo is chunky (like regular instant) where the Nescafe is truly a fine powder. 

I should mention that A few years ago, I was given a milk frother. I'm almost ashamed to say that I only used it once and that was to make hot chocolate. To be honest, I wasn't sure just how else to use the thing. Thankfully, I saved the manual. The frother has been amazing! (I checked and, sadly, this frother has disappeared from Amazon but someone did a video review of the exact machine I have.)

Here is the drink I made this morning.

So, yeah, I'm down with giving up brewed coffee for espresso. I'd rather get a big hit of caffeine once or twice a day rather than several bland cups of coffee throughout the day.

Best of all is that I can make my lattes and mochas using macadamia or soy milk. The macadamia froths up well (it's what's pictured) and I sometimes add a tablespoon of either half-and-half or some sweet coffee creamer for a boost of fat and sugar. When I'm med-sick and not eating anything during the day, I will add a tablespoon of half-and-half and a tablespoon of heavy cream. Don't judge me.

For those watching ingredients as I have to do, the only one listed on both the Nescafe and Bustelo is coffee.

Like I said, caffeine is life. With the instant espresso powder, I really don't see myself buying an espresso maker anytime soon. I'm not a connoisseur. I'm the same with espresso as I am with wine: if it's wet and tastes good, I'm down with it. And I sometimes slurp.

Peace

--Free

Words. Matter.

 If I ask any random adult on the street to tell me about something from their childhood that still strongly affects them to this day, most answers would probably have to do with something that was verbalized. Words or phrases that were encouraging or not. Names they were called. Nicknames they were given.

When I was about 7 or  8 years old, one of my older brothers joined the military. I answered the house phone the day he made his first call home. I was so excited and probably started babbling about missing him. He cut me off and told me to just go get mom to the phone. As an adult, I know that he wasn't being mean. He probably only had a few minutes to talk and I was wasting them with my girlish rambling. Still, that is the earliest memory I have of my feelings being deeply hurt by someone I loved.

Memories about my mother and the other women elders in my life have much to do with the things they said and how they said them. 

Someone in a Reddit comment or on a Twitter post once remarked that they always felt good whenever an "older black lady" calls them "baby". As in "Don't worry about it, baby". I can relate. I'm black and the sweetest thing a lover ever called me was "baby girl". And that has nothing to do with the daddy issues I actually have. It's just such a loving vocal affection, like calling someone "sweet thang".

Just like yesterday, and in all the yesteryears, today certain fad phrases and slang terms root themselves in our culture. Being older, I don't keep up with currents slang and sayings but I have a lot of nieces and nephews who do. I've heard them go through so many, the words are a blur. 

Bye Felicia. Girl, bye. That part. True dat. Being extra. Suspect or sus. Hooking up.

The younger people in my extended family listen to Rap of so many different styles I can't cope - nasty rap, mumble rap, gangster rap, East Coast and West Coast, and Country rap. Then there are the bands and artists obsessed with weird arrangements that include screaming, crying, and cursing the Lord. They are so overt with their intentions of having meaningless relationships or taking revenge on whoever they are "beefing" with. They don't bother with subtlety. At all.

I grew up listening to Motown, Rock, and Country so I won't talk about the terms we had in "my day" for sex, love, dancing, cheating, yearning, learning, etc. In those dinosaur days, we hinted at lurid sex and highlighted romantic sex (do people even use the term "making love" anymore?) There was a lot of reading between the lines to find the "good stuff". I think the last subtle song about making love was Sade's "Your Love Is King" where she crooned through the joys of climax.

I'm reading a book now that has me falling in love with words all over again - the way "Their Eyes Were Watching God" did years ago. In "The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue", V.E. Schwab does with words what any great jazz or classical composer does with music. I'm more caught up in the way the story is told than I am with the story. Stephen King is like that. Not many of his fans care what story he is telling, they just like hearing him tell it.

Another book I am reading is Eric Metaxas' "Is Atheism Dead?" and I recently told an acquaintance (who is Athiest) that I think they would enjoy the work. I say that because this acquaintance is a person who likes to be challenged with ideas, even the ones that go against his beliefs. The book is not a haranguing, finger-wagging, I'm-right-and-you're-wrong set of arguments in the voice of a televangelist huckster. It's a conversation from someone who doesn't believe what they do just because they believe what they do.

Words matter. As a lot of our parents taught us, it's not what we say but how we say it that matters most. The how part is the key to successful communication. How makes the difference between being rude and gracious; between telling and discussing. Being the daughter of Southerners, I know that there are two ways to hear the phrase "Bless your heart". There is mainly only one way to hear "Why, bless your heart". That "why"? It matters. And putting the accent on any of the words in the phrase... well, you can write a book on polite Southern put-downs and encouragements.

Not what you say but how you say it. 

When I was young, I was misbehaving in public and my mother threatened my life just with a look. No words were needed, but if they had been, trust me, she had an arsenal. 

Words matter. 

Peace

--Free