That Illuminati Thing

I haven't posted on many social topics lately, but because of my love for music, I wanted to talk about this subject.

I'm always hearing about how the Illuminati is controlling the music business. Some of the talk makes sense and comes from people who spread their message with a loving heart. In some cases, the messenger's own hate makes it hard to hear any truth they might be speaking. (And I do believe there is some truth in there.) Sometimes, I run across things that I find interesting but confusing. I save those to look at later...

I do believe that for every good thing God gave us, Satan (the Devil, Lucifer, whatever you call him) has found a way to pervert it. And, honestly, I do know that many people will do anything for money, recognition, fame (infamy), etc. 

Sometimes, we find it hard to believe other people are capable of doing the things that we aren't capable of. Just read the news and you will lose your doubts on that one. (I read a story the other day about a man murdering a mother first, then killing her toddler. The report said that, at the time, the child was crying and clinging onto the killer's leg out of fear and confusion.) 

While some prefer to laugh off ideas of God (and Satan), that may be the biggest part of the battle. Charles Baudelaire said that "the finest trick of the devil is to persuade you that he does not exist". (It sounded cooler when Verbal Kint said it in "The Usual Suspects".)

Right this moment, there are a lot of you thinking that I sound like a big bag of crazy (thank you, Dr. Cox) just for believing in God and believing that Satan exists. I don't really care. Being "crazy" is safer than succumbing to bullies or peer-pressure. #believethat

Maybe too much is being read into it when we see images like this:

Why? Just...why? (source)

It does sound a little crazy to think that people are taking oaths to something (or someone) dark and evil in exchange for material wealth. It sounds crazy, but I've got to wonder when I see people who supposedly did (or did not) admit to this deal. I've seen the videos of  Katy Perry, in and out of sync; Bob Dylan, either joking or not, though I can't imagine joking about such a thing; and I've heard about Robert Johnson (the "father" of rock and roll). 

In the comments section of one of those videos, someone mentions that the artist might be speaking metaphorically. Maybe so. I myself won't even joke or speak in any way about selling my soul. One commenter wondered why anyone would care about someone else and their soul. I don't know about them, but I care the same way I wouldn't want to stand and just watch someone throw themselves off a tall building. But that's just me.

Sometimes, I think that people are just afraid to believe in anyone (or One) other than themselves. Does it matter that you'd rather not believe that fire is hot and water is wet?

Peace

--Free

We Have the Wrong Ideas About Love

The very title of this article was so offensive ("14 Sexiest Celebrities With Ugly Significant Others"), I fell into the trap and read it. That's what I get for stumbling across sites with names like "Celebrity Romance". (Actually, I was reading news on The Root and clicked on a link...)

First of all, "romance" - celebrity or any other type - is about romance and not "hot bodies" or cheap hookups. Second of all, as stated in the article's title, those celebrities are with their chosen and "SIGNIFICANT others". A person does not become a romantic and committed significant partner to anyone too shallow to see past the exterior.

I guess the author of the article thinks it would be better for a "sexy" person to be married to an equally sexy serial killer - or woman-beater, ice-queen, rapist, cold-heart, or whatever. Apparently, that author has never gauged love for themselves with anything other than their own vagina or penis.

And by the way, "ugly" is such a four-letter word. I don't think that even the most attractive person wants to be wanted only for the way they look.  Sometimes I wish that, instead of our bodies, we could see the state of our hearts in a mirror. (By the way, I sure didn't see a photo of the article's author! I hope they can consider themselves "hot" since that might be all they have going for them.)

When I think of spending my life with someone, I don't think of having to be beauty-queen perfect most of the all the time. I hope that I will just be as beautiful as I am to that person. I sure as hell am not going to give a damn whether or not some tired-ass loser thinks I don't deserve to be with someone.

Since I am ranting all over the place on the topic of love and couples, let me tell you about a couple I saw today.

This morning, while I was waiting to see my doctor, I watched a mid-aged daughter come into the waiting room with her elderly parents. The dad was in a reclining wheelchair and the mom didn't look very well. Apparently, they were there for the father's appointment because the mother was as concerned for  his comfort as the daughter was. While the daughter took care of insurance forms, I watched her parents tease and banter with each other. I sat there thinking about how hard it must be for the wife to see her husband not feeling well. I'm sure she's worried and maybe even thinking about the "What ifs" of a life without him.

I kept thinking how that couple was young once, and their daughter just a baby, and their life as a family just starting. Imagine what they've been through together. Imagine the good times and bad times.

Like a lot of older single people, when I see loving couples, I have a habit of being envious of the "easy" parts of relationships. Looking at that husband and wife today, I realized that there are so many more parts of a lifetime commitment that are difficult. I also realized that I even envy their difficulties.

Anyway.

Whoever wrote that disgusting article has surely missed the whole point of love and commitment and desire. I think most of us are surprised by what will make a person attractive to us. And by "attractive", I mean truly attracted. Hormones are one thing, but real devotion is something else.

Personally, I get so sick of the media paying all this attention to "hotties", "yummy mummies", and "sexiest" whoever. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate sexiness, but I guess we all have our own definition of what that is. There is a huge difference between I-wanna-sex-you-up and I-wanna-spend-my-life-with-you. Love is blind because we love with our hearts and not with our eyes.

Peace
--Free

My Favorite Homemade Eats

Make all the "black folk" jokes you want, but I love chicken. I like it smothered in vegetables or gravy or barbecue sauce. I like it fried, dyed and laid to the side. So there.

Of course, I don't always do chicken the way my mama use to. Most of the time (in the past couple of years), I've tried to do healthier versions of all my mama's recipes.

First up, this is the Baked Chicken recipe I use to replace the fried chicken I grew up eating.

• Season a pot of cold water with your fave spices. I use 1 bouillon cube to every 5 cups water and a dash of tenderizer. Set to medium to medium-high heat.
• Put the chicken (breasts, wings, or legs - whatever) to cook in the water. I leave the skin on, but you can remove it. ~shrug~
• While chicken is cooking, mix in a small dish some olive oil, chili powder, garlic powder, onion powder and a drop of liquid smoke. You want enough of a mixture to dab all the pieces of chicken.
• When the chicken is fully cooked through, remove from water & drain. Let the pieces cool enough to handle.
• Heat your oven to between 300 to 375 degrees (depends on how warm or cool your oven runs). Place a wire grill over a baking pan that's deep enough to add water to the bottom.
• Lift the skin of the chicken and dab on the seasonings mixture (I use my fingers). Make sure to season all sides of the pieces.
• Bake the chicken the crispiness you like. I like mine to be really crispy, so I will sometimes set the oven to broil for the last minute of cooking.

I use water in the bottom of the baking pan to catch the drippings. It stops the drippings from smoking up your oven, and it makes the pan easier to clean.

This is my Mixed Greens Concoction, which is so simple, I can't even call it a "recipe":

• Kale 
• Turnips
• Collards
• Spinach
• Broccoli
• Ginger (cut real thin) 
• Yellow, red or sweet onion (cut thin)
• Green onions
• Tomatoes (if you have them, because they are so good for you)

I put about an inch of water and a drop of olive oil into a pot with one dash of salt or a pinch of a chicken bouillon cube.

I start the water boiling and put in first the collards, turnips and ginger. Cover the pot and turn down to medium heat. (BTW: I like the tiny bit of heat ginger gives because I avoid spicy foods)

When the collards and turnip greens are starting to get soft, I add the broccoli - just laying it on top of the other greens without stirring. When the broccoli starts getting that bright green color, I add the kale on top of the broccoli - no stirring.

Let this cook for just a  couple of minutes. Turn off and remove the pot but keep the lid in place.

Slice your onions and tomatoes, sprinkle them with pepper and a little salt (or Mrs. Dash) and set aside.

Here is where you can deviate. Sometimes, I like to add the spinach on top of the rest of the greens and replace the lid while I slice my onions and tomatoes. Sometimes, I like to not steam the spinach and just add them to the top of the cooked greens on my plate.

Whichever way you choose to do your spinach is fine. When I have everything on my plate, I like to eat the greens with little bits of the onions and tomatoes. Sometimes, I will even drizzle a little more olive oil over the whole mess of greens! (By the way, I've done this "Greens Recipe" as a meal in itself - no meat. You'd be surprised as how filling and hydrating this is."

I use this next recipe to satisfy my burger cravings. There's no meat in it, but the dressing added to the veggies and bread gives me a sense of satisfaction. It's a simple veggie wrap:

• Get whatever type of bread you want as your wrap. I love using a plain piece of sourdough sandwich bread that I flatten with a can or rolling pin. (Okay, sometimes, I use two pieces, flattened together.) You can also use a tortilla, a pita pocket type bread - whatever.
• Cut up your favorite veggies. I use strips of green, yellow and red bell peppers; onions, spinach, and whatever else I have around. (Recently, I used some kale and collard greens. The kale wasn't bad, but the collards were a little tough. Still good though!)
• In a bowl, mix together some mayo and some french dressing with a drop of olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. Dump your veggies in the bowl and mix well so they are coated in dressing. 
• Arrange your bread (or whatever) on a paper towel with one end of the towel hanging beyond. Add your veggie/dressing mix and tuck your bread closed with the paper towel covering the bottom to stop drips.
• Dig in.

It tastes really good. The tangy dressing flavor can make you forget that you aren't eating any meat. It's pretty filling. I know that it may not be as calorie conservative as other healthy choices, but you are getting your veggies. (I came up with this one after I went to Burger King for one of my beloved Whoppers. I ended up tossing out the meat and I just ate the rest of the sandwich.)

Before I forget, I also still like this recipe for Water Veggies.

Enjoy!

Peace

--Free

Looking Back and Looking Forward

Remember back when I was complaining of the all the weight that damned prednisone slapped onto my butt? Remember when I was really struggling to find a good balance of diet and exercise? Remember when I was- Oh, wait. You guys didn't get to see me wearing baggy pants and sweaters because I hid from cameras like celeb with a zit. Take my word for it: I wore nothing that snugged any part of my body.

When I gained weight, I wasn't one of those cute and curvy gals. Looking good has more to do with how a person carries their body weight - whatever that weight is. You know there are some smoking hot ladies who can carry the curves with serious swerve. I'm not one of them. For one thing, I didn't have curves in any of the right places. My gut curved like a pregnant woman, but I didn't gain an ounce of ass. I did get some boobage. Yes, that was nice. For the first time in my life, I had enough boob to actually fill a hand. Nice. Other than that, I was a mess. As a thin-framed gal, I can do "skinny". This double-chin here...

chunky-chin me

...I can't make that work for me.

Pre-prednisone, I was heavier than I'd been for a while (140-some pounds), but I was still fairly thin. And sick, which is why the prednisone was a necessary evil. Life-changing time.

Lovely hospital, amazing staff, but I never want to see either again!
(See, no boobies! LOL)

Once I got off the prednisone, I was determined to do two things: wear heels again and wear them with my favorite pants and skirts. Other than eating better and getting a lot of regular exercise (mostly just walking a treadmill at the gym and dancing while at home), I didn't really work that hard. I did take some good advice early on about not weighing myself all the time. That alone would depress that happiest person to nose-dive into a bowl of ice-cream. Since I was stopping smoking at the same time I was starting my weight loss, I had to put my stubborn attitude to work for me when I encountered obstacles.

It's been a grind, but I have actually come to enjoy my healthier lifestyle. Also, I got this body back into some cute clothes.

Thank you, Planet Fitness

Yeah, buddy. That's me. I had an appointment this morning and just decided to pull out that skirt to see how far I could get it past my thighs before the fabric started weeping. About three months ago, I could get it just over my knees before I'd sit down and cry off at least 20 ounces of water weight in tears. Just about a month ago, I found that I could get it on - as long as I didn't attempt to zip it.

This morning, I almost scared myself when I not only got that thing on, but zipped. I damn near cried with joy when I realized I could even sit down without ripping the seams.

Oh, happy, happy, happy me.

It sounds so vain and silly, but getting into that skirt (and my cute-as-hell boots) did my heart more good than dancing in the rain.

I still have a ways to go, but getting to this point is just the motivation I need. If, like me, you are working to get in shape, just know that it really can be done. I will do a post soon on some of the healthy(er) recipes I've been concocting for myself.

If I can say anything to other people who are going through what I am, it's just this: Make sure to take care of your soul and mind while you are dealing with your body issues. Don't hurt yourself with diet pills, don't go to extremes in anything, and don't buy into fad foods that you wouldn't want to spend the rest of your life eating. Do what feels right and works best for you. Do it healthy so you can do it forever.

Peace
--Free

Here Comes the Sun (and dirty water...)

The past few days have been (mostly) sunny, thank Jesus. I was just about to give up hope on Spring.

I got so happy about temps being in the 30+ range that I took off for a walk yesterday evening. Once I made it out of the skating rink that is our building's parking lot, I was enjoying myself so much that I decided to head to my sister's house. According to Google Maps, this is a 37-minute walk of 1.9 miles. Yeah. Google Maps didn't know about the patches of ice still lining most of sidewalks.

I'm a pretty brisk walker. I've done the route to my sister's house in 25 minutes, through 3 traffic crossings. In the summer. On dry ground. (Okay, one time it took me an hour and forty minutes, but that's because I stopped off at Walmart and browsed.) Yesterday, I barely made it as far as Walmart. That took me twenty minutes. Google clocks that at 0.8 miles from my apartment. (I might have shaved off some time when I hit a slick spot and slid about thirty feet. Craziness.) I called my nephew from the Garden Center at Wally's and had him pick me up. I got a lot of exercise in the car by clenching my jaw when he talked about how ice-free the road was.

This morning, after breakfast, I looked out my window and thought, "Hmm... Sunny again. YES!" Then I checked the temps and saw that it was about 17 degrees out. Alaska is never sunnier than on an ass-cold day. About half an hour ago, Weatherbug was showing the temp at 33 degrees. I stood at the window, debating with myself about taking another walk. Two minutes into that, a car went past, splashing ice water on a pedestrian.

Since I'm not walking today, I'm planning on getting all my exercise by laughing at old "Frasier" episodes on Netflix. I'm serious. I read that, by laughing for 15 minutes, I can burn 50 calories a day. Shoot.... My life is nothing if not pure comedy. I should be whip-thin by now.  By the way, if you want to have some fun, check out the interactive tool at WebMD (requires Flash, so I didn't use it).

I love this list of calorie burners. I looked at a few of the items and stopped at "drinking coffee", which is my favorite sport. I just wonder why, with all the java I throw back, I'm not eating to put weight on. Come to think of it, my mother used to say that worrying was a calorie burner. Although I almost never doubted a word coming out of my mama's mouth, I have to disagree with that theory. I am a world-class worrier. I worry so much, I even worry that I'm not worrying about something. My sister likes to tell me that I can worry the stink out of shit. I'm not sure if she and I are talking along the same lines, but... ~shrug~

Anyway, since it's too muddy and wet out to go walking, I'm going to go chew some gum. Better yet, I need to find some caffeinated gum.

Peace
--Free

(UPDATE) I *HATE* MS Word 2010 (and these are my work-arounds)

***Since I ranted about Word 2010, I've been hearing of other people using One Note for some of their creative writing tasks. There was a discussion thread over at Nanowrimo with interesting input. Writers In the Storm gives a nice list of their fave features. Write Out Loud has (like me) used Evernote. They read what Writers In the Storm had to say about One Note and got a jump on me and did a comparison of the two products. 
If you have experience with One Note, I'd love to hear what you think. I'm going to play around with it... right now... This video by Amir Parmar is so good that I want to thank him for making it. ***

I am on a rage against that damn Microsoft Word right now. (Let me just rant for a while, then I will post the links you might have come here looking for.)

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a beautiful Word feature: auto summary. Of course, because information swims in and out of my brain like a school of crazy fish, I forgot about that summarizing feature for a long time.

(Lesson One: Don't get sarcoidosis. It really effs with your brain. Getting old does the same thing, but I choose to blame my problems on a disease instead of natural aging.)

Last night, while having a knock-down drag-out fight with my manuscript, I decided I needed to step back and take a look at the story.

(Lesson Two: Never, ever, start writing a story without outlining it first. Even if you do outline, make sure to update it if you make major plot changes. Also, learn to take the advice you like giving to others - like what I just did.)

My first thought was, "Oh, shit. I need to get a handle on this manuscript." My very next thought was too complicated for someone as lazy as me. It involved a lot of scrolling back through a bunch of pages to highlight certain parts. The happiest thought came next. It was, "Hah! I'll have Word run a summary for me!" Then I did a little dance around my room and told myself that I am a freaking genius, no matter what my sister said to the contrary a few hours before when I kept accidentally elbow-dialing her from my phone. Don't ask about the elbow-dialing...

(Lessons Three and Four: Don't ever get so happy that you brag about your own genius. God might be in a humorous mood and decide to show you that you're not half as bright as you imagine you are. Also, don't constantly elbow-dial cranky people.)

Guess what? Microsoft does that thing they always do when someone finds a great use for a feature in one of their products: they either change it, move it where it can't be found, or they just yank that handy little whatever right out of the program. (Don't even get me started on that fiasco called Windows 8. I spent twenty minutes on my niece's computer jut trying to figure out how to get onto any browser other than IE.)

Anyway...

There is no auto summary feature in Word 2010. Thank you, Microsoft. If I could afford to go Mac, I'd leave skidmarks getting to Best Buy. But that's enough with the complaining. On to the links that might help you if...

You want to auto-summarize (an essay, article, etc.)**

• SMMRY - copy/paste online
• Free Summarizer - for lengthy docs, if you wish
• Links to other apps for summarizing (or making your own)
• Copernic to try before you buy

You want to use more options in Word:

• Kutools - available for Outlook & Excel too.
• Office Tab - for multiple tabs within Word (by same as above)
• Office Tabs - says it's free for personal use. (I get nagged bunch by the one above.)

You hate Microsoft & want alternatives:

• Kingsoft  Office - easy transition for the Word user
• Apache OpenOffice - ditto
• LibreOffice - ditto ditto
• Google Docs - (desktop/cloud) I've heard good things, but don't like to store my mss online...
• Zoho - alternative to Google Docs
• Team Lab - alternative to Google Docs

While I don't like story my manuscripts online, I don't know that there's anything really wrong about doing it. It's probably great for co-authors. 

The most interesting product, in my opinion, is Calligra. For one thing, there is supposed to be a focus on authors in one of the releases. I'm still checking out information, but I'm holding back a happy dance, just in case.

Since there are quite a few alternatives, I like that Wikipedia did some handy comparison charts.

Peace

--Free

**I don't have to warn you, do I, that you must be careful of using anything that puts your writing out there for others to steal? Also, use your common sense when downloading to avoid getting unwanted stuff installed on your PC. I use various programs to watch for and weed out things, but still get burned often. You can do what I do and create a restore point in your PC before downloading stuff. It's up to you.**

Writers Just Write (***LINKS***)

I promised a post of links that might be helpful to newbie writers. Anyone who wants to write, can. Anyone who must write, will. I've always had to write because I have stories in me that have to be told.

It's my opinion that all good writers - published or not, educated or not - write for themselves. All any fiction writer (and some non-fiction writers) does is tell stories. A good story told badly is just wasted effort. There are a lot of published writers who tell horrible stories so well that readers can't get enough of them.

If you are like me, you are a writer with good stories to tell. The trick is learning to tell the story well.

(God, that gave me a little bit of a headache!)

Anyway, here are some links to resources that might help a "newbie" writer become a better storyteller:

• A very general definition of "Genre" (it's not that simple, but it's a start)
• Types of fiction (Who the hell knew there were so many?!)
• Types of plots
• Fiction types by word & page count
• Good article on "Plots" (Check out the entire site for great info)
• Wikipedia on "Genre fiction" (Use links within for more)
• Literary Devices (explains parts and pieces of literature)
• Character development tools (gotta love those folks on Tumblr!)
• (Meta)search engines (Dogpile, search.com, and a list of others)

Also, here's personal advice from me. I'm no expert, but these are things I do that (I believe) help my writing:

• I listen to comedians. Not to steal their material, but to watch the rhythm and pacing in the way they communicate with audiences. Comedians don't get enough credit for their craft. It's not about the jokes they tell, but how they tell them. Chris Rock, Sebastian Maniscalco, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Ralphie May - they all have found their own "voice". Brilliance.
• I eavesdrop on everyone. I like to watch people who are different from me to see how they speak. I pick up on accents, cadence and dialect that I might be able to use in a story. I try to always base my characters on speech and mannerisms I've seen actual people use. The cliched advise of "Write what you know" is the best advice.
• I read books that I love. A lot. When I find a story that really grips me, I read it first just to enjoy it, then I go back and read it to see how the hell the author performed such magic.
• I read stuff that would put a coffee-swilling insomniac into a coma. This is something I usually save for when I do need to get some sleep, but I find that I learn a lot of interesting things this way. While sitting in the lobby of my doctor's office, I read two and half pages of a five-page article about the Maori's, learning something about the Maori's beliefs about death and afterlife. Over a year after reading that article, I was able to use the information in the story I'm now working on.
• I pay attention to people who are older than me. I write a lot of fiction centered around family, traditions, and generational history because I don't want future generations to get all their history from textbooks. No matter what type of fiction a writer writes, we all have to know where we came from in order to tell our stories with truth.
• Use the hell out of Google, Bing - or whatever your preferred search engine is. I like to use multiple search engines.
• I let people read my work as I'm developing the first draft. I pick people who love reading so that I can see how my story "plays" with an actual reader. This is tough because I like to choose someone who won't mind hurting my feelings with their honest criticism.

The hardest thing to do is to write without comparing yourself to whoever may be on a "bestseller" list.  The next hardest thing is not being hard on yourself while writing a first draft. Everyone says it like it's no big deal, but -AAAAGH!!! - it's a huge deal to write (no editing allowed) to finish the story the first time around. What you rarely hear is how good it feels when you get to write those two most important words in any story: "The End". 

Happy writing!

Peace

--Free

March *Was* Madness (More Writing Links)

If we had gotten as much sunshine as we did madness, March would have become my favorite month. Instead, we got dumped on with snow, and I got dumped on with self-induced pity. Thank everything holy that this month is just about over!

Today, the writing is back on track (yes!), but I sure wish there had been a March Madness sale on blood and guts because I think I've poured all I have into this current manuscript. If writing a book is like giving birth, I'm praying to be induced early. Seriously, it's been rough.

I'm not complaining (much), though. I love writing and don't think I could live without it. It would be great if there was a way to make money at it - you know, other than actually finishing a manuscript and getting it out there.

Ah well.

I promised links. Here they are (in no kind of order):

• Phobia List
• How to Write Good (thanks for sharing this, Sandy-sis)
• Australian Slang (because I can't find an Aussie to help me out on this manuscript)
• Reverse Dictionary (when you are drawing a big ol' blank!)
• Words: Woe & Wonder (you'll just have to check this one out)
• Obscure Sorrows (because I was in a mood this week ~shrug~)
• Net Lingo
• Resource of Symbols, Signs & Flags
• Your Dictionary (I call it Dictionary for Dummies. No offense. I use it a LOT.)
• Garbl's (Many, many, many resources. I've had this link a long time, so some resources may be outdated.)
• Online Writing Lab
• Urban Dictionary (because I just had to look up "Restless Dick Syndrome". Yeah, U.D. has stuff in there like that.)
• Style Guides (APA, MLA, blah-blah-yay styles.)
• Richard Lederer's great list of language links.
• Diffen (compare anything, if you ever need to. I always do.)
• The People History (Who, what, why and what they wore and paid for it. I use the 1970's section a lot.)
• Occupational Information (when you need to know what that doctor or mortician really does.)

Hope you find these helpful. I think for my next post, I'm going to list information for wanna-be or newbie writers. When I started out, I didn't have much help in understanding the process of writing, or even the different genres. For now, I have to go an eat something. I'm all hopped up on about 6 cups of coffee. Funny to be so tired and wired at the same time.

Peace

--Free

Today's Word is "Recovering"

I'm not ever able to stay in a funk for long. I broke out of the one I was in yesterday by getting some sleep. I'm pretty sure now that my mood was brought on by this fatigue I'm dealing with. If it doesn't break soon, I'll call the doc.

In the meantime... I can sure tell you what you should never do when you're feeling down:

• Read any of those life hack feeds I subscribe to. The next time I'm this broke and see a "hack" promising to tell my how I CAN travel the world, I'm going to jab a hole in my DELETE key. (I knew that shit was bogus when the first bullet point was "Choose your destination". Really? Well, let's see... Venice sounds wonderful or not this time of year. I bet I can score a $20 ticket on Hotwire right now.) What crap.
• Look at any photos of celebrities. You know they look a lot like we do when they wake up in the morning but, according to Bossip or TMZ, they could roll out of a truck of snot and hit the cover of Vogue. Listen, when Target photo-shops their "Plus Size" (hah!) jeans models with a thigh gap a blind guy could shoot missiles through, I know that Satan is having a giggle.
• Re-watch Les Miserables. Or any entertainment that makes me bawl and want to shove my face in the toilet and take a deep breath. (Happy Trudy loves a good tear-jerker. Blue Trudy would rather watch porn and laugh at the bad story lines.)
• Listen to any music about somebody wanting their heart unbroken or getting butterfly kisses. (And get your dirty minds off the porn. That Butterfly Kisses song is just beautiful.)

What I did, after my Van Winkle nap, was tell myself that soul funk is just as toxic as shoe funk. So how'd I get rid of the funk?

• Listened to some funky funk. Ohio Players, James Brown, Rick James... I will go ahead and suggest turning up the Players and showing off your pretend horn-playing skills. Not only did this lift my mood, I decided that, if I can never be a singer, I'd accept being part of the Players' horn section. I have moves, yes, I do.
• Called my niece on her house phone to see if my nephew D.J. would pick up. Sometimes, he does, and that is just hilarious. He gets out "Hello" but, since we haven't deciphered the rest of his private language to know what he goes on and on about afterwards, it's just pure imagination. Since he didn't pick up when I called (and no one likes to give him their cellphone because he might decide to see if he can play Frisbee with it), I spent time looking at some of the 3 trillion videos of him that I have on my computer. Such a cute little monster.
• Fixed myself a big bowl of Great Grains cereal and vanilla soy. There's something about eating cold cereal that reminds me of my childhood. Of course, since I'm "mature" now, I added flax-seed to the cereal and ended up feeling a little bloated for a couple of hours. It's okay, though. I worked it off in the horn section. Ha.
• Cleaned out my email. This is something I can do without actually expending much energy. Bonus: I got a sweet note from a sweet buddy. (Girl, you know who ya are!)
• Mainly, reminded myself that I've been in this place before. It passes. Everything passes.

Also, since I was trying to kick start my writing engine, I dawdled around the web and found some more writing resources. I'll share those with you guys when I'm not so tired.

Man, I miss Sugarfoot #RIP

Peace

--Free

Today's Word is "Crappy"

• We had a few days of sunshine and break-up weather. I got all happy and energized. God said "Psych!" and let about a millions inches of snow dump all over my good mood.
• My writing was going so well, I got cocky. "Cocky" ran into a big old brick plot wall. I spent 2 hours staring at a blinking cursor before I gave up and watched three episodes of "Scrubs" just to keep from sticking a fork in my head.
• I'm too sad for music right now.
• I need something good to happen in my life. Even just something minor. Maybe something fun showing up in my mail instead of another bill to cry about.
• I shouldn't have joked about Planet Fitness the other day. I had to get more groceries for the week and just about depleted my bank account. I guess the exercise fairy heard that shit I was talking and called in a favor with the money fairy to put a whooping on my ass.
• I'm almost too tired to even pray about being too tired.
• I had to hide my razors because, like always, when I get in this kind of a mood, I think of shaving my head bald to get my mind off whatever's bugging me.
• I'm exhausted and don't know why. I don't want to call my doctor because he might ask me to come in for an appointment. Going anywhere right now means getting out in that wet ass snow. I just don't have the energy.
• Come to think of it, I don't even have to energy to deal with this post right now, so I'm out.

--Free