Wednesday, July 15, 2015

**REVIEW** Aunt Jackie's Quench Moisture Intensive Leave-In Conditioner

If there is a really good hair moisturizer out there, I haven't found it yet. And I have tried several. This is the latest:
That's Aunt Jackie's Quench Moisture Intensive Leave-In Conditioner. Let me break that label down in light of my personal experience -

Moisture - Well, it's wet, so I suppose that's where that came from. It's wet in the bottle and still wet when I apply it. Wet = Moisture. Until it doesn't.

Intensive- I'm kind of mad that that word is even in the label next to "moisture". I am intensively upset with that.

Leave-In - That's true. You can leave it in. I could also leave talcum powder or dry rice in my hair. Same effect.

Conditioner- I dunno. Between this one and Miss Jessie's, I'd have to say that M.J's at least left my hair feeling conditioned once I washed it out. This one just washed out.

I think that my hair actually made the sound "quench" once this stuff dried...

I mentioned to someone that I will probably never stop looking for a moisturizer that actually works, but I have now actually put together a list of requirements:
  • Must actually leave my hair feeling moisturized once the product has dried.
  • Must not require that I take out small personal loans in order to purchase the product.
  • Absolutely cannot leave my hair feeling as if it's been shellacked so that it can double as a combat helmet.
  • It would be helpful if the product worked at least 1/2 as well as described.
Maybe the next product will be one by "Mama Sue" or "Sister Betty" but, hopefully, whoever produces it will be selling something that really works instead of just having a folksy name and nice backstory.

By the way, I'm irritated by the rave reviews I read about Jackie's on Amazon. I really wish that more people would be clear and honest when they do those reviews. Or that (for hair products) they are grouped by hair type. Or something.  I'm not saying that most reviewers don't play the honesty game, but I sometimes wonder if some reviews are written by people with some kind of agenda. (Or just really good hair.) I get products for free to review, yet I will tell the good, bad and ugly, no matter what. After all, that is the purpose of reviews, right?


You know what? Maybe I  should come up with a homemade formula under my Cosmetic Kitchenista line. Hmmm...  I could call it "Your Play Cousin's Remedy That Actually Works".


Seriously, about this Aunt Jackie's Quench (or, as I call it "Crunch"), it wasn't as bad as Miss Jessie's. Matter of fact, when I applied to to my towel-dried hair, it felt so good that I had high hopes. Then my hair dried and I was left with that slightly crunchy-not-soft result.

I wasn't ready to give up on good old Aunt Jackie yet. Since applying the product straight didn't work out, I decided to mix some in a spray bottle with a bit of water. Water = moisture. Result: Fail.

Still not ready to disown Jackie, I added a couple of drops of argan oil to the spray bottle. Result: slightly better - not because of Jackie but because of Argan.

I finally did give up on Jackie. Here's the thing, I am so disgusted that I'm not even bothering to return the product. I'm going to start a museum of failed product. Jackie's going right to the left just behind Jessie's.

The best thing I can say about Jackie's is that it is at least more affordable that M.J.'s product. It also didn't leave my hair feeling like a helmet, but it sure didn't satisfy my hair's thirst.

As a last word, I have to say that I am starting to get a complex about my hair. Maybe my naps are just so dry that I will need to walk around with a spray bottle of water? Or - and this is what is keeping me from total disappointment with products - I can just keep stocked up on this product (available at a local big box retailer):
                   Aussie Hair Insurance Leave-In Conditioner, 8 fl oz
I love other Aussie products (I've used the shampoo and 3-Minute Miracle), but had never noticed this one. When I saw it (and its price) at the local Walmart, I whipped out my phone and did a quick search of reviews.  (Then DJ accidentally knocked my phone out of my hand, so... )

Whatever. I went ahead and snagged a bottle of the Aussie Hair Insurance anyway. (Because, I can always return it easily). It was under $4.00 and I won't have a hard time restocking if I like it.

Verdict: This black and nappy sista just disowned the Jackie's and Jessie's to adopt my new favorite cousins from Down Under.