Find Your Own Joy

As 2023 was winding down, I talked with a younger family member about life and happiness. It is my opinion that, in a way, happiness - joy - is a social construct. Let me explain.

Of course, happiness is a real thing. My opinion is that we either have our own joy or adopt what we are told is joy. Society has hijacked 'joy' and given it definitions that don't work for everyone. According to society, joy seems to be having a lot of money, possessions, attractiveness, power, etc.

I don't have a lot of money or possessions or power and I am living in a middle-aged body that has seen better days. However, I am sometimes giddy with joy. Some people who know that I am a Christian might think that my joy is all based on my beliefs. A lot of my joy and contentment does come from my personal faith. But not all of it.

I wish that more people would take the time to decide what joy means to them. Forget social media or social trends or whatever your family and friends think. Learn your own definition of joy and happiness.

Some of the things that make me feel joy and contentment are basic. Looking around at the good things in people and the world - in spite of all the bad - makes me happy. When I wake up in a safe place, knowing that I have food to eat, water to drink, and family and friends who love and care about me - all these are immensely important to me.

For a long time, I had the habit of looking at what I didn't have as compared to others. I've grown older and wiser and have learned to be so thankful for what I have by looking at what some people don't have. 

There was a time when I looked at the rich or powerful and compared my life to theirs. I made assumptions that they had to be happier or more blessed than I was. 

It sounds trite and pithy but I have to say that happiness comes from gratitude. If you are grateful for what you have - no matter how little it might seem to others - you can find joy.

Anyway, as I talked with my relative about all of this, one thing dawned on me. If money, power, attractiveness, etc brought joy, then why aren't all rich, powerful, and beautiful people always happy? Why do some of them need to drink or do drugs? Why do any of them commit suicide - or murder? 

Simple, right?

I don't know if any of this is making sense. I just wanted to remind everyone to stop letting anyone define joy or happiness for you. Find what makes you happy. Know why it makes you happy. 

Again, this might sound very trite and basic but I do think it's important. And, yes, my faith does play a big part - the biggest part - in my joy. That's something I talk about on my other blog.

I hope that 2024 is good to you. I hope that you learn to be good to yourself.

Peace

--Free