Saturday, May 13, 2006
Mother
- On handling the TW thing-
"Girl, gone on ahead and call that boy and get it over with. You 'bout to make me nervous with all this silliness!"
"If you don't call him, I will."
-On my housekeeping-
"Don't forget to put a little bleach in that dishwater."
"If you fold your sheets in half, it don't take as long to iron them."
-On work-
"When you're at work, leave your life at home. When you get home, leave your work at the office. Don't nobody at work want to hear about your man, and nobody at home wants to hear about your boss."
-On taking a chance-
"It's all right to be afraid to do something new. Do it it you want, don't if you don't. As long as you never have to say you WISH you hadda done it."
Wow. Mama's still right here with me.
Happy Mother's Day, Tootsie!
--Free
Tags: Memories, Mothers, Mother's Day
Monday, May 08, 2006
What You Can Tell
I'm not just spitting in the wind with this one, you guys. I have a real point. I was thinking about what you can tell about people from different things & I got to thinking about our "Wish Lists." I started one a while back with Froogle & I was playing around with it a while ago and did some updating. When I looked back over my list, I wondered what someone looking at my list would think about me. Now, I'm curious about other people's lists. There are plenty of things that I would put on a REAL list, but here are some of my general grooves:
- Anything by or about Huey Newton and the BPP. I've always had a curiosity about this.
- Anything to do with something that smells good. My latest favorites are the scents of Tuberose and chocolate. (I have got to buy me some of that perfume that has the chocolate in it!!!)
- Anything to do with soothing looks or sounds. I love those recordings of nature sounds - esp the ocean. Maybe we Cancerians are into that because of our crab natures...
Peace
--Free
Tomorrow I go to work, so this old bumper sticker came to mind --
"I owe, I owe, so off to work I go."
Pretty appropriate with the way I've been spending money!
Music:
Yesterday was my late father's birthday. I've got the Temptations "My Girl" on my mind since it's one of the songs Daddy used to sing to me.
Web:
Haven't gotten completely back into my net surf groove yet, but I plan to get back to and really work on my Frappr page...
Words:
"God invented birds to sing backup for nature." (Free 5/2006)
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Family Photos
All right - finally kinda figured out this uploading of photos...
The top left is of me and my sibs at the family party(Christmas in AZ 2005) & that's me on the left end in the white top and (do NOT talk about me) the blue houseshoes. (Don't ask why I did that... but I WILL say that I had been drinking alcohol & I'm pretty sure I was sort of drunk!)
The bottom photo is of two of my bros - the handsome devils! We were in San Diego for New Year's & I LOVE the sign above their heads. (I have a secret: I love hanging with my big bros cause I feel so safe around them big dudes :-)
I'll have new pics up soon as I get them done.
Special note to my kid Abeni - how you digging your Arizona "Ma" :-)
peace
--Free
Words: A shout to my family: "You are everything & everything is you."
Song: "We Are Family" - Sister Sledge
Web: southern_aa_Genealogy-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Friday, May 05, 2006
Arizona, Chocolate and Heat
It's been such a crazy transition that I spent three hours this morning thinking over what my "new" life here feels like. Since I'm tired, I'll just give a little freestyle rundown & save my usual wordiness for another session. Please forgive the bad writing. I'm so tired that if I weren't so happy about being "connected" again, I wouldn't be writing at all.
Take these thoughts into your hearts and be happy for me.
The heat is both annoying and sensual. Makes me feel like being somewhere cooler, but also makes me feel sweet in my Blackness and makes my skin feel at home. I slink around in the whispers of the sun on my body and just know that my soul was born in a tropical place.
The men are amazing. The smile, stare, flirt and appreciate - not at the chick behind me with blonder hair, lighter skin or different colored eyes - but at me: Black, black, hot, sexy, got-my-hair pulled up, no make-up on, mouth sticky with dark chocolate that I've started "feening" for; skin feeling smoky and smelling like Tuberose oil...
My family is together. I can call them one moment & be with them ten minutes later. We can have lunch and parties and tease each other like when we were kids not separated by life-distance-issues.
My house is more home every moment. I've made friends with the backyard birds, the frontyard neighbors, and I wave to my mailman. I sit on the porch and have thoughts that only writers are able to have when they are in a place that is made for writers.
I am miles from the place that was so "home" to me for so long. I miss it, but I know that the time for being at home in the Land of the Midnight Sun has passed & I am feeling good-anxious-lost/found-renewed and glorious in this new land. The sun has a different attitude here. I have a different attitude. I want to learn how to swim.
peace
--Free
Friday, April 28, 2006
Intro to Hell
- The sites
- The people
- Just being around my family
- The heat (was 95 the other day)
- The streets (only been lost once)
- Sales tax (didn't have those in Anchorage)
The new house is ADOR-A-BLE. Small, cozy and the neighbors are great. Met Doug and Linda and was immediately reprimanded for calling them "Mister and Missus." They are just plain Doug and Linda.
Have been busy, busy. Had to do quite a bit of quickie shopping (not including the shorts I bought at Wal-Mart and changed into in the front seat of the car because I couldn't take the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing).
My niece is planning a housewarming. I already picked out the colors for my room and bath: chocolate & camel with deep green accents for the bath; reds, oranges, browns and golds for the bedroom.
I will attempt to post some pics next time, so you can "meet" me and the family. In the meantime, I am back on line sporadically.
Peace.
--Free
Thursday, April 20, 2006
On a jet plane
The house thing is over & I am not yet an alcoholic. I did overdose on some chocolate the other day!
I am leaving Anchorage Sat night/Sun morn. I would like to feel a little more sad, but at this point, the crazy weather in this beautiful place has helped me come down with a cold. We've gone from 17 degrees to 31 degrees. Day before yesterday, it actually snowed. Just a little bit, but still...
I have been keeping up with my writing. I have no idea how I've managed to do that, but, I have about 17 scenes to type up when I get back to my PC... And my PC (I call her "Della - cause she's a Dell!) was shipped out yesterday. The guy at the packaging store laughed (but just a little) when I brought her in all wrapped in a blanket. He quit laughing when I told him I'd be willing to seriously hurt anyone responsible for damage to my baby! I gave him my Ice Cube look from "Are We There Yet?"
Belle (my new doggie) has gotten sick & won't be able to travel with me. My niece is panicked about her little pooch being unwell & I'm just hoping that she will really send her own to me when Belle is better. (The last family dog died of cancer, so my niece is really concerned & anxious for the vet to tell her what's up.)
As far as the Young-Love-I-Left in Texas: I made a decision. Since I found out that he has a live-in-love, I'm going to get settled, call him, see what's what & then MAYBE go on there for a visit. I kept out the old pics that I found of him/us & I couldn't quit looking at them the other night. I wonder if I'm just itching to see him because of the stress and uncertainty that comes with this move I'm making? I don't know, folks. I don't know.
How are all of you guys doing? I'm not keeping up very well with my blog-reading, so I'm going to have a BUNCH of catching up to do when I get to AZ. Meantime, all of you please be well, be happy &
Peace
--Free
Saturday, April 15, 2006
The Move Update #...I forget
The buyers were using money from their 401K. The check came from out of state. Their lender put a hold on the check - 7 days...
That's not bad enough.
When the 7 day hold was up, the buyers' lender told them that because they didn't close on the appointed date, they now had to RE-VERIFY all their previous info - paystubs and other financial info. When the buyers pointed out that this had been done already (and besides, it wasn't their fault the check was held for 7 days), the lender just insisted that it's the way things are done.
Meanwhile, WE are living with family, suitcase-diving and carrying things around (since our car is already shipped off). AND the buyers are living in a hotel because they gave notice on their apartment.
Things that make you go.... Damnit!
ANYway... Thanks to everyone for the encouraging words & the condolences on our friend Marie. Something that people outside of cold-weather states probably never think about: Marie can't be buried until summer when the ground has thawed enough. So her family will go back to Fairbanks for that ceremony. (My mother was cremated, so we didn't have to deal with that. I imagine it would be a little bit like mourning twice. Or maybe it's just final closure.)
Okay, my friends, I will check in with you later. I have to tell you all about whether or not I actually go to see the old first-love boyfriend... I've got a couple more days to decide.
--Free
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Transition Update
I'm packed, out of my house, living with family & ready to leave town and....
There's a slight hold-up. Stuck here for a few more days than I plannned.
Dang it.
BUT - there is good news: while I'm held up, I had a beautiful thing happen. My niece has two pit bulls. Belle & Beast. I've always been a little timid around dogs, and ever since a pit chewed through a door to try having me for a noon-time snack... Well, let's just say, I was terrified of pit bulls. Until. My niece once had a pit named Bonnie. Sweetest & most lovable animal I ever saw. For some reason, she was very protective of me, so I fell in love with her. Bonnie died a couple of years ago. My niece then got a brother and sister (Beast & Belle). I'm not crazy about Beast - I don't know why - but Belle reminds me of Bonnie. The dog has always been a sweetie pie.
I was feeling a little down when I found out I was going to be stuck here in limbo for a while longer & while I was commiserating with my niece & nephew, Belle came over and tried to comfort me. I mentioned to my niece that it would be nice to have such a sweet but protective dog when I get to Arizona. Because my niece is worried about me transitioning to a new environment, she said she'd feel better if I had a good guard dog. But I'm not good with most guard type dogs & I suck at training and bonding with animals. While we were talking, Belle was watching us and we all looked at each other and had a "aha" moment.
Belle is 2 years old, trained, and she loves me already, so..
Belle is going to Arizona with me & my sis. I have a guard dog, a friend, and a part of my Alaska memories all wrapped up in one. I'm SO happy. Belle and I have been bonding a lot the past few days. She's going to miss her brother & I know she's going to have to adjust to being away from my niece, but I think it's going to be good for all of us. (You have to understand how much my niece loves this dog to know how much she has to love me to give Belle to me.)
I think that God works not only in mysterious ways, but in wonderful ones too. I was all upset about having my move schedule thrown off & here I get the best gift in the world out of it. Happy, happy, happy!
At any rate, I have internet access most of the time, so maybe I'll get to tell about being attacked by a dog named Jake. Meanwhile, I have to go make some calls to the vet and pet store. I'm getting geared up to spoil my new dog!
Peace,
--Free
P.S.: No words or music for now. I have my recently deceased friend, Marie, on my mind. I've been watching her family deal with the process of funeral-planning & it's just complicated. Matter of fact, if I were to have any words today, it would be that death and funerals bring out the best and worst in people. I thank God that, with Marie's family, I'm seeing more of the best & just a little bit of the worst.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
By the time I get to Phoenix
I was going to try to keep posting from the road, but I've decided to use my temporary homelessness to get closer to finishing Book Two of my trilogy. However, I was so pleased that some of you enjoy the writing tips I sometimes toss out there that I've decided to have a post ready when I get back online. The subject is one that I promise my fellow writers will really appreciate.
That's all I'm going to say about it for now.
I hope to be back up within the next two weeks. Right now, my phone service is off & I'm using a cell phone for everything. I have my suitcases ready to move over to my niece's house & I feel so disconnected from everything.
I'll be thinking about all of you while I'm not able to check in.
Take care & peace.
--Free
Sunday, April 02, 2006
And Now, Arizona
10 -- Shipping and handling will be as advertised when I want to order that useless crap they like to peddle on late-night infomercials. No more reading the fine print to discover that it costs and extra 5 or 10 bucks for us Alaskans.
9 -- When I see a commercial for Red Lobster or Olive Garden, I'll actually be able to satisy my ad-induced cravings. We dont have those eateries here so I'm not sure why the commercials play every 30 minutes on local stations...
8 --I'll be able to scrape together money for plane tickets to visit all my family living in the rest of the Lower 48.
7 -- When I get ready to buy that laptop I've been wanting, I can take advantage of the free (ground) shipping Dell brags about.
6 -- If so inclined, I might be able to get my hair braided for less than the 250 to 300 bucks people up here like to charge. And lord knows I'm gonna be happy to go to a store other than WalMart to find hair care and cosmetics in a more varied range.
5 -- My Oil of Olay Regnerist (what I like to call my Miracle of the Moisturizers) costs 15 bucks and change at Targets instead of the dang-near twenty bucks (for 1.7 oz) I have to pay here. And that's at WalMart, people! I know about the Target price because I checked when I visited this past holiday.
4 --The next time my 4-wheel drive decides to take a little winter-time nap, I won't be calling Road Reports just to see if it's safe to drive around certain parts of town without sliding into someone.
3 -- All those writer's conferences and concerts and other such events I'm always hearing about? I might actually be able to make it to some of them. Yay.
2 --When I finally get up the courage (and this is gonna be a whole other post one day), I'll be able to cruise on over to Texas to check up on an old crush.
1-- When I get ticked aboutt poor customer service & threaten to boycott a supermarket, department store or some other place vital to my consumer needs, I'll be able to follow through. (Kinda hard to pull that mess in a place where there are limited shopping alternatives. The customer service personnel know this & usually just snicker at the threat.)
So -- yeah, I'm coming to you, AZ.
"I prefer being paid to tell stories over being despised for lying."
(Free 4/2006)
Tags: Top 10, Alaska, Quotes, Culture
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Last Email Funny. I Promise.
(This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine.)
Dear Diary: For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football team 25yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservation with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 yr. old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swimwear.
My wife seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
MONDAY: Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She was something of a Greek goddess with blonde hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!!!! She took my pulse after 5 minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra aerobics outfit. I enjoyed watching the skilful way in which she conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.
Very inspiring, Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, Although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
TUESDAY: I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air, and then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!! It's a whole new life for me.
WEDNESDAY: The only way I can brush my teeth is by lying on the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered the other club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whines that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurts when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said some other shit too.
THURSDAY: Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late; it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took me to workout with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine -- which I sank.
FRIDAY: I hate that bitch Belinda more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleading bitch. If there were a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat her with it. Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the*&%#(#&** barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
SATURDAY: Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel.
SUNDAY: I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year, my wife (the other bitch), will choose a gift for me that is fun --like a root canal or a vasectomy.
tags: Jokes Humor Laugh
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Rude & Crude (but funny as heck!)
when you cry...
NO ONE sees your TEARS.
Sometimes...
when you are in pain...
NO ONE sees your HURT.
Sometimes...
when you are worried...
NO ONE sees your STRESS.
Sometimes...when you are happy...
NO ONE sees your SMILE.
*
*
*
*
*
But FART!!
just ONE time...
Don't front. You know you're laughing with me.
Sexiest Man List
Anyway, she (my niece) and I have decided that the reason I don't find Brad Pitt sexy is because of a generational thing. I'm older, so I'm not feeling the whole Usher, Jay-Z, and most anybody with all that grill/gold crap in their mouths. Maybe.
So, back at my niece, here's my list of Sexiest Men (in no particular order):
- Denzel. Of course. He's got that natural & easy kind of charisma. I hope I never meet him because I would probably embarass myself badly. Let that man flash that smile at me & watch the knees buckle... Down she goes. And I like the family-man thing he's got going (with a wife who is like a "real" person & not some plastic, Barbie-doll imitation of womanhood. Lucky, lucky her.)
- Keanu Reeves. I don't know. Just something about a man who doesn't seem to pretend about anything. I like the look: handsome & flawed-not-airbrushed. He's got those wonderful eyes and a great smile. He doesn't seem fake & he doesn't seem to be trying to live up to or fit into all that celebrity b.s.
- Will Smith. I don't know. He's got the silly, sexy, playful mix going on. And another family man (although I heard a disturbing rumor about a belief in "open" marriage...? That would ruin some of the fantasy for me, but...)
- Puffy. Or Diddy. Or Daddy. What is he calling himself these days? ANYway. I like that combination of bad boy/smart. Let this man get a little bit older and settle down some - that's going to be hot.
- Maurice White. Y'all know how I feel about Earth, Wind & Fire. I have loved Brother White since I was 14 or 15 years old. Broke my heart that I never got to see E,W & F in concert. Maurice has the wiseman vibe about him. He's so calm and proud of his Blackness. It's probably a good thing I never made it to a concert when I was so young. I might have done something undignified, like throw my draws up on the stage! But now that I'm older and calmer - I could love Maurice right. Black love, y'all. I'm on a roll.
- Tyler Perry. Who doesn't love a writer? Plus, he's tall. That's just interesting to me.
- Prince. Why? Have you heard this man sing "Adore?" Good mercy. Anybody that comes up with lyrics like that... I always did like his music, but he got even sexier to me when I heard him do Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me."
- Steve Harvey. I LOVE this man. First of all, he cracks me up. Second, he kind of "country," like me. I just know he's a good time.
- Babyface. He's really sexy, but he's too manicured for me to want to hang out with. I don't mind dolling up for a night out, but day-to-day, I'm a blue jeans, sandals, t-shirt gal. I don't do makeup and hair gel, so I probably would always feel way under-dressed around 'Face.
- My former brother-in-law. Yeah, I was the kid sister, trailing around like a love-sick puppy whenever my sister's boyfriend came around. I was just a kid, but I just knew I was in love. It cracked my sister up to see me swooning whenever David came around. My sister is 10 years older than me (so is David), and by the time I was 12, I just knew that she'd stolen the man who was meant for me. When they got married, I was the flower girl. David kissed me on the cheek at the reception & I was in a mental time warp for the rest of the day. To this day, David is like family. Last time I talked to him, he called me "sweet pea." Ladies - there's nothing sexier than a man with a southern drawl calling you "sweet pea." Trust me.
--Free
"I will love you anyway/even if you cannot stay..."
(Rufus - "Sweet Thing")
Sexiest
Men
Top 10
Monday, March 27, 2006
Jitters
11 days til closing.
Instead of focusing on all the stuff I need to be getting done, I spend a lot of time having flashbacks on the times I've had in this house...
I remember the Christmas mornings (when Mom was here) where ALL the brothers, sister, nieces, nephews, adopted family - everybody, sometimes over 30 of us - were here to open gifts, cook, laugh, argue, and just have a blast. Thanksgivings, Easters, birthdays, graduations, new baby home-comings were all pretty much the same way. Those were the only times none of us minded cleaning up a kitchen after feeding 2 armies of people. (You know your life is blessed when you can have fun scrubbing pots with your folks!)
I remember laughing til I almost peed myself when a friend of ours slid under the car in the winter. Me and my sister & a couple of friends were heading out to lunch somewhere. This one friend, who is short anyway, went around to the driver's side, the rest us turned our heads for a second, and -BLOOP!- Hazel was gone. Just like that. We were all thinking of "Twilight Zone" excuses until we heard her laughing. She had slipped and slid right underneath the car - girl was like a mechanic on one of those roll-under things!
Good times.
And sad times, too.
The last time I saw my mother before she went into the hospital for the final time, she was sitting in her chair over by the fireplace. I worked a night-shift then. My sister was staying home with mom. I came in from work at about 7:30 that morning & when I came up the stairs, Mom was sitting in her chair, watching CNN or something. She looked over and said, "Hi, baby. You look really tired this morning." I was tired. I went straight to bed without giving her a kiss. When I got up later, she had gone to bed to rest because she was feeling "a little bad." When I got to work that night, I remember how thrilled I was that my class had been cancelled. I planned to spend the time catching up on desk work. A co-worker came by to chat & we were sitting there, griping about the long hours we worked when my phone rang. It was my niece. I needed to get to the hospital now. My friend locked up the building for me & I RACED to the hospital. I remember how kind other drivers were to move out the way when they heard my horn & saw my flashers. Mama never woke up.
Good time. Sad times. All in this house.
--Free
"My Father promised me salvation, not a life without troubles." (Free 3/2006)
Sunday, March 19, 2006
For Marie
She calls me
and leaves messages
on the phone
She calls to cry
saying she is all alone
I don't care
and I don't know
how she feels afraid
to let go
Her mind that once
thought up stories
and dreamed my life
it's now all gone
where the illness is rife
Some days she laughs
and seems okay
But then the smile fades
and the joy goes away
Where is she
I wonder
when she's not here
What is her mind
when it's not clear
How will she
ever be free
How do I let go
when she's already left me
Friday, March 17, 2006
Out for a minute
Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to leave the survey I took a minute ago! (Thanks Soulfull)
Okay - that was easy! LOL
(Hey - I'm going to check them later, but if I messed up links to anybody, shoot me an email & cuss me out!)
Peace,
--Free
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
A Memory Storm
Memory storm.
Memories about my mama.
Asofetida - I don't know if that's how it's spelled, but I remember Mama saying it's what her mother used to put on her (Mama's) chest when she had a cold or something. Said it stunk to high heaven & probably only worked because the odor scared the germs away.
Urine Shampoo - Mama told me once how, when they were young, her cousin "Bunky" was the only one in the family with short hair(do y'all remember "In Living Color" where one of the characters talked about folk & one of her lines was about a woman with short hair: "hair so shawt you can read her thoughts!"?) and someone told her that it would grow if she washed it in her urine. This fool saved her pee in a big old jar & once a week, she'd pour the urine on it. I don't know what that old pee must've smelled like, but Mama says Bunky grew enough hair in a few weeks to snatch up into a rubber band. She might've grown more hair if "Aunt Jack" hadn't made her stop with the pee shampoos.
Bacon Grease Lotion - Mama says that if they ran out of Jergens or Vaseline, she and her cousins would use bacon grease (and you know she meant that big jar of "drippings" that sat on the stove in an old Folgers can) instead. One time, one of her cousins oiled up and headed off to work. She was running late, so she short-cut it through someone's back yard. "Someone" had some dogs. Dogs smelled the bacon grease. Cousin had to pull the Wilma Rudolph out of her soul and book like the wind. I guess she was leaping fences like somebody had bet money on her. (I suppose she made it away from the dogs. Mama never said. We were both laughing too hard for her to finish that story.)
Sooty Beauty - Back in the day (Mama's day), there weren't a lot of readily available cosmetics for "women of color." Most of my mother's family has LOTS of color & they go from black as midnight (some of them with grey eyes that gave me serious nightmares & this is before colored contacts!) to Light as Vanessa Williams. Most fall in the middlin' to dark category. The lighter-complexioned folk could get away with over the counter lipsticks & blushes and all that. My mother and the rest had to work something else out. So what did they do? Mama says that they'd find the darkest lipstick (usually some kind of slut-red shade) and they could find, then mix in some soot. Yep. Soot from the bottom of pots or burnt wood... The soot would darken up the lipstick enough to compliment a sister with deep roots. (Another time, Mama told me that there were some cosmetics for black women. These were sold door-to-door or could be ordered from ads in the back of romance magazines. A long time ago, someone sent me an old copy of a black romance mag & I saw an ad for "Lucky Heart Cosmetics." Somehow, I picture this as one of the places Mama would have found her makeup when she was young.)
"Busting" a part - My mother was extremely honest. If she didn't know you well, but didn't like something about you, she'd be polite about telling you. If she knew you well - or "owned" you as she did her children - she'd skip politeness & just get to the damn point. (Mama's bossiness with a person went up with her level of approval of them. I could always tell a friend of mine was "in" with my mama the minute she went from inviting them to "come on in and have a seat" to telling them "bring your ass on in here and sit down, boy. That couch ain't gone bite your ass." Most guys who made it past being like by Mama were keepers as far as I was concerned.) One time, I thought it would be cute to wear my hair with a part down the very center. Mama didn't think it was cute. When I came out to rescue a date from being scared into incontinency by Mama, she took one look at my head and asked, "Why you got your hair busted down the middle with that part, looking like Sista Tutta?" (I have no idea who "Sista Tutta" is & I didn't ask. I was too busy sliding back into the bathroom to get that part out of my hair. And, no, I didn't "keep" the guy I had the date with. He laughed a little too damned hard at Mama's comments.)
TPV Perfume - (This crossed my mind when I did my "favorite perfume" on the ABC's yesterday.) When I was younger, I wasn't allowed to wear make-up (don't forget my "holiness" background), and perfume was too extravagant. BUT - I knew I had hit a milestone of "getting grown" when Mama let me wear TPV to a school "dance" (aka: a bunch of kids standing against the wall in the gym and pretending not to notice each other while music played). Talcum powder and vanilla extract. Yep. I didn't get to buy "Heaven Sent" (or whatever it was called), but I sure thought I was some hot stuff when I wiped that cotton ball of vanilla across my shoulders and then puffed on some powder. Shoot. Too bad the only boy who got close enough to smell it was the boy handing out the plastic cups at the punchbowl.
Chewing tar - This falls into that category of "country health" stuff. I can't even lay this on my mama's generation & end it there because she passed it down to us. Until I was about fourteen (right around the time I was leaving my small town life), I - and all my cousins, play & real - chewed tar. I don't remember where it came from. My mama and aunt would have it to hand out to us. It was clean little pieces & shiny where it had been broken or cut into bite sizes. We'd gnaw on that tar like dogs on rawhide. Mama always said it was good for the teeth. And I have to say, I always had great teeth - until the Air Force let their dentists practice on all of us.
Wow. Memory storm. Mama on the mind.
Believe it or not, I owe almost all of my current manuscripts (the ideas, the characters, the settings - everything) to these memories. Of course, I guess most writers will say the same thing.
Speaking of writers - be sure to check out the new link on the left. John Baker, out of the UK, writes mysteries & we've exchanged links. (John - I'm SO coveting the cover design on your books - just beautiful! - & I can't wait to read these.)
--Free
"Love is either calm or storm/Sometimes you rain gently into my heart/Sometimes you are a blizzard in my soul"
(Free 3/2006)
LISTENING TO:
Yahoo Listing of the artist Kem (nice)
WEBSITE:
A CSS Tutorial that I seriously need. Gotta fix this dang template problem!
Monday, March 13, 2006
Arrrrgh!!!
I've had it.
I'm changing this dang template. It's been nothing but a major pain in my HIND QUARTERS since I changed to it.
Loved the colors & layout, but I'll be back when I find something USEABLE.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
New Look for the Blog!
(I think this is Supa messing with me because of Firefox!)
I tend to mess with things when I get either real (fill in the emotion here: Happy/Sad/Tired/Mad) - usually rearranging all my furniture or doing strange and elaborate things with the clothes in my drawer (arranging everything by color or type). One time I got upset over something at work and I went to the store and bought about 10 of those cute colored plastic storage containers that slide under the bed. I organized all my belts and shoes and scarves they stayed that way for exactly four days. The work situation cooled down and I calmed down. I immediately started just tossing the belts and scarves in my bottom dresser drawer & the shoes got all mixed up in the plastic containers. About a week later, I was picking out shoes in the semi-dark of my room and didn't realize I had on a mismatched pair until I was ten minutes late and just warming up my car. I don't care how dark brown a shoe is, it still doesn't work with a deep blue one - especially when the brown one has a gold buckle on the back and the blue one had a patch of across the toe. Not a good look.
Today, I had double emotions going on. I'm happy about the house selling (of course), but sad that my friends are starting to miss me already. Living in Alaska isn't like living anywhere else in the USA (except maybe Hawaii) when it comes to traveling outside. You can't just hop in your hooptie and take off to visit your folks in Texas or Georgia. Let me back up & make the situation a little clearer: YOU CAN HARDLY HOP IN YOUR CAR & HEAD TO THE AIRPORT. Not unless you have nice, deep pockets, connections in the airline industry, or a Federal Marshall escort with two government paid tickets. You might be able to leave once or twice a year IF: one of the trips is to Seattle, and you made reservations 6 months ahead for the other one. Otherwise, you better like you some long winters or very short - beautiful, but short - summers. (There are no other seasons here. Alaskans joke that we have snow, no snow & Spring.)
I guess the point I was making when I went off on that little diatribe was that my friends won't be able to just "come on down" and see me any old time. So, yeah, I was happy/sad today. Double emotion, double need to mess around with something.
At least this time, I was just playing around with the blog template (and I did remember to save a copy in a file before I started) and not trying out some new program that would make me crazy (HEY SUPA!).
Now that everything seems to be working, I'm going to call it a night & get to bed. I have a lot of chores to get through tomorrow & I have to be done in time to watch "Flavor of Love." I can't believe the season is almost over...But I did hear there's going to be another season filmed. (Wonder if that means Flav didn't end up with either one of the girls???)
Oh well - til next time!
--Free
Friday, February 17, 2006
Handbasket Reservations
I've been bad & I don't mean in that "naughty" way that guys like to hear described in detail over wine and soft music. I'm mean bad as in doing something my pastor would have a fit over if he knew about it. I'd be getting dunked in holy water and olive oil like that kid in "The Good Son" needed to be. Well, I would be if my pastor remembered me. I haven't been to church in so long, I'd need to Mapquest my way there.
See? Hell. I'm going to hell. And with my luck, the handbasket will probably be coach or steerage.
It's been a long while since I've been to church, but I was raised there. Matter of fact, when I was growing up, my mother had us in church so much we should have been paying rent. Bible Study, choir practice, YPWW, Sunshine Band, Tuesday Prayer Meeting, Thursday Night Worship... Don't even get me started on what Sundays were like. We were there at 9 o'clock (8 o'clock until Mama let me outgrow Sunday School), and the sign outside said "Morning Worship 9 - 10:30. That must have been there just to lure in unsuspecting newcomers. There was NEVER - not once in at least 4 years - a service that ended at 10:30 (not in the morning anyway). If we were lucky, we might actually stand to say the closing prayer at around, oh... 11:00...11:15... And every time we made it to the "Amen" and I felt my hopes rising - every. single. time. - Sister Somebody or Brother So-N-So would get a hit of the Holy Ghost. Usually it was this one lady - Sister Euletta Walton was her name. I'd be standing there, one eye shut for the prayer, the other one checking the nearest exit, and then I'd hear it: "Mmmmm..." Sister Walton would start humming. I'd go on and open my other eye and look over at my cousin. She'd sigh, shake her head, and we'd both sit back down. Might as well. Once somebody started humming, moaning, rocking, or swaying their hands in the air, it was on then.
The pastor's son (Sam), who played the organ, would get that glint in his eyes. Now, this boy was so ugly that he should have pitched a tent and charged admission, but he could rock that organ like Larry Dunn used to do for Earth, Wind & Fire.
The only reason Sam recovered from his Saturday night drunken comas and made it to church was so he could teach that organ new tricks. His favorite part of the service was at the almost closing. You know - when somebody (like Sister Walton) got that hum going? Sam told my other cousin that he knew just which note to hit at just the right time to get some shouting started. (He told Peaches this while I stood lookout so they could smoke cigarettes out behind the church.)
Sure enough, one sister or brother would start a hum going and another sister or brother would join in. Sam would pick the right moment to ease in a few random notes, then - when the timing was just right - he'd hit a high note. Just something kind of bluesy like to send a little thrill down the hairs on your neck.
At that point, you might as well forget going home. Evening services started at 6.
I stopped going to church when I stopped living at home. My mother never criticized my decision, but she'd drop "subtle" hints whenever she could. I would go by every couple of weeks to have dinner and she would make the grace into a ten-minute prayer for the salvation of my hell-bound soul. After she'd said "Amen," she would urge me to heap up on collard greens like she hadn't just scared me out of an appetite.
My mother passed away five years ago. I'd give just about anything for one of her dinnertime prayers now.
So, If you couldn't tell by now, I was raised among folk who other people called "Holy Rollers" and "Charismatics." In our church, it was easier to list things that weren't sins than to list what was.
I think that whoever came up with the Sin List just copied another list called "Anything That Might Possibly Be Even Remotely Halfway Fun." The other things on the list came straight out of the Bible as read by the pastor. One of the big no-no's was astrology or horoscopes. This was not something you messed with if you didn't want the pastor to have to perform your excorcism.
Now, I've done my share of everthing on the "Sin List" (except for singing because, well... I can't), but until about a year ago, I never even paid attention to astrology. Until a friend of mine pointed out to me that I am "such a Cancer." She said, "You're so Cancer, the symbol should be a picture of you, not a crab."
Yeah. Right. Sure. Uh huh.
My friend brought over a copy of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs. She'd bookmarked the sections for Cancers.
I ignored it.
It was laying there on my coffee table for three weeks.
I dusted around it. Stacked mail on top. Hid late bills underneath.
My friend came by one day and put the book on my night table.
I hid it behind the lamp.
Then...
I think I had to take a peek - just so I could prove to myself that horoscopes are nothing but generic personality profiles. Then I could go back and tell my friend that she was wrong. But...Wow.
I am SO a Cancer. The generic profile thing just doesn't pardon how exactly that book describes my personality. Not only am I a true Cancer, but one friend of mine is a definite Virgo. This guy I dated a while back is Gemini to his soul, and I KNOW that my GWA is a Taurus...
Now, I wanted to toss the book out with the trash. Then I could find a church and convince a minister to bless and pray for me, but... I'm going to hang on for a minute. I need this book just for a little while longer. You know - for purposes of future reference when dating...
--Free
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