Skip to main content

Don't Like and Do Love. A List.

The Don't Likes:
  • Automatic doors that hesitate so long that I almost run into them.
  • When I'm too stupid to realize the automatic door is 'slower' than I am.
  • Well-dressed people who ruin the look with a bad attitude. 
  • The mean thoughts I have about those people, like hoping they trip and fall while I'm watching. 
  • Parents who let their bad-assed kids loose on the public, and then act as if you were the one who advised them not to teach the little monsters how to behave.
  • Other shoppers who hog the aisles with their carts, then get pissed if you bump into it while trying to pass.
  • Shoppers who pretend to be deaf and blind when you are trying to pass them in an aisle.
  • Adults who never use the words/phrases "Thank you", "Excuse me", "Please", "Hello', "Sir" and "Ma'am".
  • Children who aren't being taught the above words/phrases.
  • Men who don't hold doors for women. 
  • People who find the above statement sexist or anti-feminist.
  • Drive-through coffee service when I can't just request cream to add for myself.
  • Weak coffee.
  • Coffee so strong that an entire bottle of creamer won't mellow it out.
  • Men who wait for a woman to make the first move.
  • Women who scared men out of making the first move.
  • People who think a man holding a door for a woman is a 'statement' of some kind.
  • Sloppy kisses. Unless it's from a dog.
  • Kissing a dog. Of any kind.
  • Not being able to cancel obligations at the last minute without appearing rude.
  • Cancelling obligations at the last minute.
  • Fake apologies.
  • Making fake apologies.
  • Morning breath so bad that hazard lights ought to start flashing with your first words.
  • Mistaking someone's long, thoughtful stare for flirting.
  • Flirting with someone you only thought was flirting with you.
  • Getting halfway through a manuscript before you decide to change a character's name.
  • Seeing descriptions on social media that could mean anything.
  • Not understanding exactly what it means to be a "brand specialist" or "life optimizer".
  • Having someone who lives in the shadows and stalks your online profile.
  • Wondering if that person is masturbating to your profile pic.
  • Trying to take a cute-but-not-whorish-looking profile pic.
  • Trying to look attractive, serious, intelligent, fun and un-posed in a profile pic.
  • Trying not to capture glass-cleaner streaks or runs when you take that bathroom mirror selfie.
  • Getting stuck in a check-out line behind a person who bought everything that needs a price-check or that they have a coupon for.
  • Not having one of the coupons for the same thing you have in your own basket.
  • Having hair that only behaves the way you want when you aren't going to be seen by one damn person you care about.
  • Not feeling well and not being able to explain why.
  • Drinking coffee on the patio and swallowing something that could have been a lump of powder cream or the baby spider you saw earlier.
  • Not being able to find that baby spider anywhere near where he was before.
  • Not being able to make yourself throw up the coffee.
  • Thinking about that nasty, unidentified lump every time you drink something for the next week.
  • When I visit my toddler nephew and he's so busy playing that he pays me no attention at all.
  • Having nothing to write with or on when you have an idea for a story.
  • Damn near hurting yourself to get to pen and paper and forgetting the idea you had.
  • When the idea you had really sucks snot once you get it written down.
  • Writing what is possibly the most eloquent thing ever to leak from your brain only to read it over and think, "Meh."
  • When you're so broke you can't pay attention.
  • Finding a great sale on a product you've been wanting at the time you're brokest.
  • Being broke. Period.
  • When you've re-arranged all your bills so that you have lights, food and gas, and then reading news about someone who bought diamond-encrusted nail polish.
  • Knowing that, if you could, you might also splurge on diamond-encrusted nail polish.
  • Spending forty bucks on something frivolous to cheer yourself out of the blues, then realizing you forgot a bill that's due.
  • Returning that frivolous thing so you can pay your bill.
  • Realizing that you don't really miss the frivolous thing you returned.
  • Buying a lipstick that looks so good  in the store only to realize, once you get home, that it makes you look a little scary.
  • Doing the same thing with an outfit, only the outfit makes you look scarier. Or desperate, or cheap, or, maybe, just sad.
  • Realizing you can't wear the same cute clothes at fifty-something that you did at twenty-something - or even at forty-something.
  • Realizing that maybe you should never have worn some of the clothes you did.
  • Wishing you had a "significant other" only because you want someone to have sex with, and you're too good for one-night stands.
  • Wanting to have sex and having no one to have it with.
  • Wondering if that last item was grammatically... what?
  • The term "significant other". 
  • Wondering if that term makes you the insignificant one.
  • Kissing with no sex.
The Loves:
  • Kissing with no sex.
  • Having really pleasant conversations with someone you'll probably never ever see again.
  • A whole day to do whatever you want.
  • Knowing what it is I want to do for a whole day.
  • Watching a comedian that makes me laugh so hard my stomach hurts.
  • When I visit family and my toddler nephew runs screaming for the door the minute he hears my voice.
  • That big, nasty chocolate-and-slobber kiss I get on my ear from my nephew.
  • Having a really cute stranger flirt with me, even if I'm never going to see him again and there was no chance that, if I did, anything would come of the flirting.
  • Waking up too fast because I think it's a Monday when, really, it's Sunday and I can go right back to sleep.
  • Making a CD of that one really good song so I can play it on loop and dance like a maniac if I want to.
  • Dancing like a maniac to that one really good song.
  • That first perfect cup of coffee first thing in the morning.
  • Any cup of coffee first thing in the morning.
  • When I wake up with breath so fresh that I wish I had someone to roll over and kiss without throwing their body into shock.
  • That one special guy friend I can talk to about any and every thing.
  • That one special guy friend who makes me feel beautiful and isn't going to ever (say he wants to) sleep with me.
  • Reading a book so good that I adopt the characters as imaginary friends for the rest of my life.
  • Writers who write so well that I swear I can hear them telling the story inside my own head.
  • Falling in love with the characters I write about.
  • Remembering something about a loved one that makes me break into a big smile.
  • Knowing that there is a person out there who is going to meet me and make me fall as in love with them as they will be with me.
  • Hope.
  • Dreams.
  • Goals.
  • Beating the odds.
  • Being here.
  • Being me.
  • Having so many more "Loves" that I will have to continue this at another time.


Popular posts from this blog

**REVIEW** Africa's Best Hair Mayonnaise

My hair is pretty happy right now. Between the shampoo and conditioner that I am so in love with and this new leave-in, I feel as if I'm wearing someone else's hair. Someone else with soft, moisturized and nourished hair.

I'm a little bit ticked off. Here, I've been using all kinds of pricier potions, lotions, curl butters and creams and this four dollar and sixty-four cent product is sitting right there on the shelf. I had noticed it before but passed on trying it. I've tried other "hair mayos" and they just coated my hair with a greasy, messy slime that I couldn't wait to rinse out. Not this stuff.

I'm too freaking tired to try doing a selfie - plus the light is horrible right now - but, I'll try to describe what my hair feels like. It's soft and moist without being wet (get Prince off your brains!). I can touch my hair and not leave prints on paperwork. It's just a perfect leave-in follow-up for my new shampoo and conditioner duo. I…

The Devil Is A Liar!

That's a saying from the old folks in the church. You know, something gets on your nerves, or someone does something they ought to be ashamed of, and old Sister Hattie would proclaim, "The Devil is a liar!" ***

My mother, though, was one of those people who didn't believe in blaming everything on the Devil. She'd remind me when something didn't go the way I'd planned, the Devil had nothing to do with it. "That was you being hard-headed," she'd tell me. "Hard head makes a soft behind." Then I'd get a lecture about using more common sense when making important decisions. Once, when I got my first credit card, I bought some kind of expensive purse. Just had to have it. Couldn't live without it. It had cute initials on it and "everybody" who was "anybody" had one. Mama watched me loading all my stuff into the purse and said, "Got everything in there but money, don't ya?" About a month or two lat…

**REVIEW** Dr Miller Miracle Tea (part 2 of 3) *UPDATED

(Part One of this review is found here.)

Final Update (Hah!) *I have been granted a refund by Amazon. I think I have to print a shipping label for return, but I'm not sure because I got 2 separate emails from them. One said that my refund would be processed upon a scan of the return label, and the other indicated that they have already processed my refund. I will be checking with them for clarification. At any rate, it's cool to know that Amazon has a customer's back in cases like this. Thank you, Amazon!

Also, I have to mention that the Seller of the Miracle Tea also reached out to check on my satisfaction with the product. I'm waiting to hear further. I will upgrade my Amazon review by a star just because they at least are making an decent customer service effort.

So, I tried the tea yesterday for the first time and I'm not even going to continue with it. At least not on the 3-day schedule I initially intended.

Like I mention…