Can't Smoke, Will Bake

Had a cig craving. Did this instead. Will be perfect in the morning.

My Peach & Marscapone Cobbler w/Brown Sugar.

Right now, you can't tell me nothing!

Peace
--Free

A Better Morning

Thanks guys for the sweet emails. I'm good. Just had a moment yesterday. Yesterday I was feeling a little like this:

You guys made me feel all like this:

 So I had to think a for a moment, get quiet, say a prayer. Now I feel this:

Just found out what was supposed to be a surprise: My baby bro is coming to town for a few days for a graduation, so I am really feeling like this:

 Me & lil bro are gonna be all like this:

except older, fatter & slower!

But all this happy started with a boost from a few of you guys, so I just want to say this:

Yeah. So, I love you guys. I will try to post later.

Peace

--Free

Stop It, Girl, Just Stop

I was sitting here, feeling like crap. Seriously. Just drained from a horrible day full of 1-crappy news (don't ask),  2- harassing phone calls (the soon to be ex husband slash asshole), 3- fatigue (just wiped the hell out for some reason), supreme frustration (just life & such), and I wanted to be all Woe-is-me.

Then I saw this story about a beautiful little girl named Avery who just died. This poor baby lived a life so full love that it's reported she was smiling on the way to the hospital where she died. I am so ashamed of myself. I can't imagine how her family is hurting right now. They would probably give anything to trade my silly worries for what they are going through.

I can't even think about this Me crap right now. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow and get a chance to see people I love again, write another story, eat another meal and, yes, complain about another something when I should just be so thankful.

"You can't think about tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time." This is a quote I thought my dad made up because it was just his life attitude. (I checked & it is from Charles Kettering, the inventor the electric starter. I really should have paid more attention to some things in school.)

My father had one peeve with me: I tend to get stuck in Self Doubt mode, Beat Myself Up mode and all the other walls we build when our pride or feelings get battered. Dad's thing was: It is what it is, and if you can't fix it, change it, or make it better, then learn from it and move the hell on. Life's short.

I'm not sure that I feel so much better right now, but I feel like I'm going to get over myself.

Guess I just wanted to share this in case anyone else is out there feeling the same way. That baby girl gave me a whole lot to think about. I don't ever want to forget this sweet little face:

Peace
--Free

App Suggestion: STUDENT TOOL

Check out "Extensive Notes - Notepad"
Too deep for me at the moment, but I found this for a reader who is a student & wanted the functions. Be sure to let me know what you think.
Since I haven't been publishing the World Wide Wow blog, I will do my best answering email requests here. Be warned - there are good days & bad days, so I am not the most reliable. I will try tho.
Peace
--Free

Gooood morning, my town! My cold, dreary, looks-like-Spring-sprung-right-into-Fall morning.

It is NIPPLY here this morning. So let's wake  up:

Works for me. I didnt even run into  any walls or anything. I'm telling you, this dancing is way better than that boring machine.

I didn't sleep much again last night, so I'm kind of wired & tired, which makes for silly. One of the BFF's spent the night, but  she had no trouble at all sleeping. She had so little trouble that her sorry ass  is still asleep. I get it, tho. When working people get a day off, sometimes they just need to rest. I'm cool. I entertained myself by putting Kita Kat in the room with her. When she wakes up, he'll probably be sitting on her face! LOL

Meanwhile, I'm cruising the  G while I wait for some call-backs. You know I'm over there so much just for the visuals. The art is nice, but the funny stuff is way better on a morning  like this one.

Check this one out:

Is that so for real or what? The lady who posted  it was still over there laughing about it an hour after she put it up. I told her I could really rub a few noses  in this one. No names, no names.

But because I was having too much fun on that one, I ran across one that's going to pop into my head every time I eat anything that has "waffle," "potato" or "bun" in the name:

You think I'm playing? Remember my fat ass has some seriously random clumsy moments. I can so see this happening. Payback's a motha, which is why when I poke fun I try to make sure it's worth it. Usually it is. Yeah. It is.

Anyway, this was just a quickie morning post. I'll have to do something later. Meantime, hope the rest of your day feels like this:

I could really get down with this. ~sigh~ (except for that fugly furniture...)

 It's just an  illusion folks, but so much of life is. If you have to be somewhere stressful today, go somewhere nice in your mind. (Don't, like, stay there or nothing - cause that's called crazy - but do take a mental break. Everything's gonna be alright.)

Peace
--Free

Bad-Tripping Through Monday

What a long & hellacious day this has been. I can't believe it's only 4:30 or so. Feels like it should be 9pm three days from now.

First of all, this freaking Nico-patch isn't do me a damn bit of good today. Let me just get that out there right now. So, YES, I have been a bitch. No, no, let's back that one up... I took the idea of "Bitch" & added some salt, cayenne and hemlock to it so I could dish it out all new & fresh. About 30 customers served so far today...

I did behave myself at my appointment this morning though. Those guys were so dang nice, I wanted to ask of I could get a can of the air they must be breathing. Seriously. I hate going to see new doctors anyway, but I'm used to my regular place. This was a sorta new doctor for me, so... The guy that does the check-in on your vitals and such was training a new employee. She's a lucky hire because he was such a sweetheart. Her future patients better pray she turns out exactly like him. (Of course, I felt my inner bitch try to come out for a moment when I had to get my big ass on that scale. Man. I am going to have to get some glasses that distort the hell out of numbers before I start getting a complex about this weight.)

The (sorta) new doc was cool as hell. Funny. I only vaguely remember her from before. She seems like real good people. Blunt. No jive, but good heart. We were cracking up during most of the appointment. Because I am on so many meds - the kind that make you want to build a bathroom in your car or get some of those Astronaut diapers - I asked her about a certain kind of, um, exercise. We almost passed out laughing when we decided that's some mess men came up with to watch us make funny faces. For real. I tried doing this once & made the mistake of being with that crazy assed BFF T. This loud-mouth heffa told the whole damn cafe we were in that I looked like I was redacted to preserve a bit of my dignity) I may never go back to downtown Dallas again. I love T, really, truly I do, but B and I are going to have to remind her about that whole Inside Voice thing.

Anyway... (Can you guys tell I'm still struggling to separate these posts from the Project stuff? LOL)

I went on the G just to be a public snot & complain about this nasty smoking habit I created for myself. This is what I got from one of the sweetest of my buddies over there: Swanson Vitamins.

Um, yeah. Thanks, boo, but it's a freaking vitamin. The only vitamin that is going to help me with this is the one that can knock my ass unconscious for about a month. I could wake up and feel like I might be able to go on without the shakes. For now, it's going to be this foul gum and the Patch. My skin is so sensitive these days that anything sticky marks my body for days & days. I still have the outline from something from back when I was in the hospital. Last July. I've always had sensitive skin. That and this freak-show hair that turns a goofy shade of red in the sun. (Thanks for those genes, Mom.)

Ah, well. I did have another weird find on the G today. Before I do this, I want to warn you: If you look at it, this is going to stay with you forever. AND EVER. Seriously. I have memory problems & I might forget my name or how to tie my shoes, but... this is sandblasted onto my brain forever times ten. Here goes...

*

*

*

From 9Gag.com

Is that messed up or what? The caption was "This cannot be unseen." No doubt. I'm not going to want my nephew to see the movie now...

Yeah. And then, while I was taking a minute to chat with a semi-BFF (all of us Bitches are working toward the real thing with her), she was feeling about as frumpty-dumpty as I look today. I happened to be looking at this at the time so I read it to her:

Cheered her right the hell up. Good. I told BFF B/Texas about it and that I'm thinking of pulling this new one into the BFF circle. B was like, "She sounds all right. Kinda stupid if she believes that corny bullshit you fed her, but... We'll train her." (Poor woman. She's about the become a member of the Bitches.)


Well, it's getting a little later in the day. I need to get off my arse and since I can't have a *fag (Hi, David! Readers, see note below) and get something that resembles food on the table. You guys have a good rest of the day & remember:

Peace
--Free

Arse = ass
Fag = cigarette

Sunday S'posed To Be

I am supposed to be writing. Got up again at the damn dawn of time so I might as well be doing something productive, right?

Um hm.

Yeah, I'm so productive that I called & woke up BFF "B" (Texas "B," Alaska B was here til around midnight). Told B that I needed some motivation to quit fidgeting so I could just sit & write. She pretty much said something kind of foul to me & said she'll call me later.

So I'm not writing, trying not to smoke, trying not to eat & damnit, those blueberry muffins from Costco are just screaming my name!...  All I've got left for now is to surf the Net, add another 3 million apps to my phone, and... bore the crap out of you guys with this lame ass post.

Just thought of something to share with you: B & I went to Old Navy last night. She has an upcoming informal wedding to attend and I have... Well, I have serious wardrobe issues. All my really cute warm-weather wear is really snug. (I will tell you in another post - maybe later today - about an outfit I wore on Friday.)

Anyway, we hit up O.N, because there's a sale on & B has a coupon. Since Nordstrom and any boutique downtown is now way out of limits, O.N. is my spot & usually they have great bargains...

Usually.

The sale yesterday? Pure bullshit. The only stuff on sale (IMO) was so damn ugly it belonged at a really bad yardsale. (I might be exxagerating a little.) Some of the stuff was cute. All that "cute" came in sizes -6 to 6. And what was in my size?

Yeah. That's the kind of neon fugliness I had to consider.

Bump that. Dark-skinned as I am, in that bright California-Crayon-colored mess, I'd look like fucking Flavor Flav in drag. Besides being a hot white smoking mess out of some low-class design school class, that crap was not really made for summer. The fabric is the kind to stick to you if you have one bead of sweat on you. (I pretty much said all this out loud - not real loud - to B. This stingy bitch goes, "But, girl it's only eight dollars." I had to remind myself that friendship is a process.)

I stood around that rack for about 10 minutes just to see if anyone else was interested in such crap. The only person who even paused on the way by did the same thing I did: took a picture. You know she put that up  on Facebook or something. Probably labelled as "Funny Pic of the Day."

Yeah. So, I didn't find much at the Navy. I did get a cute t-shirt that will probably shrink the first time I wash it & make me look like an orange Jamaican dumpling. I got it because it only cost $3.99 and I just knew I had a pair of shorts in a matching color at home. I did. Threw those out when I remembered what size they were in.

(Note: This having to only post stuff not to be in the book is going to be tough. I hope I don't end up running you guys off.)

Okay, so I can quit bugging the piss out of you guys. People are rising around here. You know we have to get ready for our Sunday eats. B is going to show us how to make her Fruit Pizza & my sister is going to teach both of us how to make Nilla Wafer Pudding Pie. I've eaten enough of it in my life for the recipe to be engraved on my gut, but...  I was supposed to take out some chicken last night & forgot so my sister is about to have a fit when I tell her. Tough. They know better than to give me stuff like that to do! LOL

Seriously tho - hope everyone has a good Sunday, a peaceful & stress-free Sunday. Be blessed, be happy and just try to be free.

Peace
--Free

Saturday Randomness

(For those who get the email posts, I apologize. I'm having a crooked morning. I think I've had to edit/update this one 4 times. Sorry bout that. I'm leaving it alone for now. Try to read through the fog.)

I am not s'posed to be putting up anything here that is going into the project. It's kind of tough not to be on here, running my motor mouth every minute.

Still & all, I have plenty to share. Here are some pics I just flipped through on the phone:

This is not a great pic quality wise, but it's pretty special. It's my niece & another mommykins returning from their first stroller walk with the babies. My girl has waited a looong time to be a Mommy. I'm so proud & happy. Almost missed getting even this shot. Good thing I glanced out the window just in time... (This would be my favorite pic if I had gone & cleaned the front windows last week like I meant to! lol)

These of Kita Kat from when he was a kitten. Crazy little bastard. Was the only one who probably didn't hate me at that time. I'd just been released from the hospital & was running real low on sanity. Kita gets me because he's also crazy as hell. That might be because we thought he was a girl until those balls dropped. Wonder if he is gender-confused? Nah. Just crazy, I think. (BTW: Kita is about to be re-named The Boss, thanks to Randy over on G+)

"Hang on, Trudy! I'm coming to save you, girl!"
(Actually, he was trying to break out of the house to join me on the deck.)

"Aw, shit! Not good, not good..."

I just love this one of DJ. Does he not look like a straight-outta-Compton thug? We have better plans for him, but this picture just cracks me up. I call this one "Thuggy-D," but not around his parents. They think I'm a responsible adult...

"Say whaaat?"

I'm kind of proud of these curtains. The fabric on the left looked a little crappy until I turned them into the summer curtains on the right. Kita digs it. My bedroom window is where his sits to watch over his kingdom. I have to keep that space looking fly.

What the purple & blue hell!!!

Pretty sure I posted the pic of these boots before. Can't help it. I'm fascinated. Trying to figure out who the hell other than Prince, Little Richard or some crackass hoe would wear this bullshit. There is no way in hell that can work. (OK - Prince could make it work. That sexy little mother**cker.)

Let's all pause & have a Prince moment:

(You better watch this real quick. Prince is sexy - and a little bit fucked up in the head - but he doesn't like his music being out there. The man likes getting paid. Sue me. Blood from a dead turnip.)

Now, these are some cute boots. I know I must've posted these before. They look plain the the pic, but, damn were they cute. Of course, I can barely walk a straight line in flats. This kind of look right here is going to be off limits on my clumsy, baffled ass for a loooong minute.

****

Alrighty. My mood has passed. I'm going to get up and do something productive. Maybe take the Deej for a stroll down the street. Let me quit lying. I'm about to go down and find something to eat. Trying to stop this smoking again. Damnit. 

Peace
--Free

P.S.: I'm sorry, but I had to come back for a minute after I viewed the Prince vid again. Everyone take note: This man is so damn confident. You have to be either be a balls to the wall headcase or just freaking delusional to be like Prince. That man is all of 5 foot 1 (or maybe 2) and pulls off sexy like nobody's business. I have a 7 year old nephew taller than Prince...

That's some kind of sexy. Prince wears heels and pulls it off. He wears eyeliner and pulls it off. He's the only man prettier than a woman that I'd want to be seen with.

~sigh~

Okay. Show's over.

G, The Coolness

Up too early again... Want to call someone so I'm not up alone, but the time is so crazy that even the Texas BFF is probably still asleep. Oh well. Guess I'll drag you all along while I go cruise the G.

This photo caught my eye & held it. This is too pretty to eat. I think I'd just shellac it and hang it on a wall (credit to hong duxuemin)

This next pic was on the G+ page of this lady. (She's a fave G-Plusser.)

Funny because it kind of goes with a post a bunch of us have been passing around as a compliment:

Meant only with love!

This just blew my weak-assed little mind. (The credit to this super-cool art blog . I just bookmarked it because I am going to be spending a lot of time over there.)

This made me smile & cringe at the same time. You have to know that I am so hooked on that stupid Angry Birds game. Not mature at all, but sometimes it just give my mind a safe place to go! LOL

Yeah. Well.

If you do get over to G+, there are some people you should make a point of checking out. Not that I don't have a million favorites, but here are a few for you:

Marija Falina - Aside from having a name I covet, she is a bad-to-bone artist. Her sketchbook work is freaking amazing. She contributes here. I can't even tell you how impressed I am with her stuff. I have the artistic talent of a drunk puppy & I "get" her, That's some boss ass talent. The only other artist I truly feel is Georgia O'Keeffe, who was all in your face with her big old flowers. (I swear I should take a class on Art For Slow People because it was only after about 10 years of loving Georgia's flowers that I started seeing all the vaginas in them. Do you know a friend had to point that shit out to me?) Anyway, check out Marija because in addition to he talent, she's a super-nice person.

Peter From - Interesting dude. Writes historical fact books, is an amazing photographer & just seems to be a pretty nice guy who teach other photogs a thing or two. What I really like about Peter is that he is a natural teacher. He obviously loves what he does & wants to spread the fever. Good for him.

Frasier Cain - (OK, first of all, I always imagine he has a brother named Niles & a housekeeper named Daphne...) I got hip to him when I was invited into his Science Circle. Yeah. Somebody fucked up & assumed I'd fit into that crowd! It has been good for me tho. Frasier & his folks are smart but not assholes. I learn so much their postings. Frasier also puts out Universe Today, and if you aren't impressed yet, well he has a freaking asteroid named after him. That's so pimp.

I hear baby D.J. trying to wake up. I might have someone really cute to keep me company in a moment. Hallelujah! I will log off before Deej really starts to wail. Let the Mommy & Daddy catch a few extra zzzz's... And you would too. I mean, just look at this cuteness right here...

The fam's current little rug rat. We're all in love.

Peace
--Free

Um, I'm Not Smoking! Really!

(Everyone else is going to have to ignore this post or just scratch their heads & go "Hmmm?" This is a direct message to someone in particular. And, no, Richard M., there's no need in emailing to ask. Not talking.)

Oh my damn! I had to resist the impulse to go back through the blog & delete stuff. I would have tried to clean up the language, but that would take about half the rest of my life & time borrowed. Today (of all days) I can't think clear enough to cover my tracks, so... Just go ahead & entertain yourself. I'll be over here, cringing!

(Forgot til my writing partner reminded me: we are using a specific blog to post stuff for the agent. I have to figure out how to add you as authorized to read. Go to this link & I will move some of the stuff over for now. I just now talked to my partner & he is loving this. He says that I have to be on my best behavior now. Uh, no sir. As far as what's on the blog, I'm going to ask forgiveness, not permission.)