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Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Stop It, Girl, Just Stop

I was sitting here, feeling like crap. Seriously. Just drained from a horrible day full of 1-crappy news (don't ask),  2- harassing phone calls (the soon to be ex husband slash asshole), 3- fatigue (just wiped the hell out for some reason), supreme frustration (just life & such), and I wanted to be all Woe-is-me.

Then I saw this story about a beautiful little girl named Avery who just died. This poor baby lived a life so full love that it's reported she was smiling on the way to the hospital where she died. I am so ashamed of myself. I can't imagine how her family is hurting right now. They would probably give anything to trade my silly worries for what they are going through.

I can't even think about this Me crap right now. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow and get a chance to see people I love again, write another story, eat another meal and, yes, complain about another something when I should just be so thankful.

"You can't think about tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time." This is a quote I thought my dad made up because it was just his life attitude. (I checked & it is from Charles Kettering, the inventor the electric starter. I really should have paid more attention to some things in school.)

My father had one peeve with me: I tend to get stuck in Self Doubt mode, Beat Myself Up mode and all the other walls we build when our pride or feelings get battered. Dad's thing was: It is what it is, and if you can't fix it, change it, or make it better, then learn from it and move the hell on. Life's short.

I'm not sure that I feel so much better right now, but I feel like I'm going to get over myself.

Guess I just wanted to share this in case anyone else is out there feeling the same way. That baby girl gave me a whole lot to think about. I don't ever want to forget this sweet little face: