Perfumes of 2021-2022

 Perfumes are one of my favorite wastes of money! Whenever I buy one, my first thought is, "Yay!" and my second is, "There goes my coffee budget!" But it's worth it.

Smelling good or just smelling something (or someone) that smells good is such a mood-lifter. It's like one of those memes: I don't buy perfume often but when I do... 

... I try to shop smart. I rarely blindly buy full-size perfume. That's what sites like the ones I list at the end of this post are for. 

Also, I signed up for PopSugarDabble and they regularly send out free samples from Macy's. So, yay. When I am curious about a scent, I check Frangrantica where I can get an overview to see if the notes are to my general liking and to read reviews from other users. Some of those reviews are hilariously brutal! So, I do try to limit my perfume buys and I do try to put a lot of thought into it before I spend even one dollar.

However, I did make 2 blind buys that I will never regret. More on that in a moment. For now, here is my list of the perfumes I've bought or sampled and whether or not I liked them and why. I am mostly having to refer to any Fragantica or Macy's reviews I wrote in the past couple of years. I will link all I can find to Fragrantica for you to read more about the scents for yourself.

The Worst (IMO)

• Keep Glazed (from The House of Oud). I got to try this from a niche house sample sent to me (I didn't even ask for it, so...). It's described as being "sweet, fruity, tropical, vanilla, coconut, citrus". Sounds amazing but, it was a big nope for me. Did not live up to the hype. I don't generally like anything with "oud" in the name so I shouldn't be surprised.
• What About Pop (The House of Oud). This is said to be "sweet, vanilla, lactonic, caramel, woody". Another freebie that I loved the sound of but didn't like. Maybe it's the "wood"? I mainly smelled Vaseline in this one. I guess this whole line is more like The House of Nope for me.
• Juicy Couture (Juicy Couture). This brand is home to 1 of my favorites but this isn't it. It's boring. Thank goodness I got a discounted set of it in stick form. I don't think I paid but $10 for 3 of the little tubes. I think the "green" among the accords is what ruins it for me. So, nope!
• Irresistible Givenchy Givenchy (Givenchy). A free sample, thank goodness. Described as having "musky, powdery" notes (which I love) but the "woody" (yep, there it is), "iris" and "fresh" makes it smell like soap. Not good, clean soap but just boring and generic, sales-bin soap. Says something about places I've shopped...
• Soft (Al-Rehab). Saw on Amazon for cheap and liked the idea of "citrus, caramel, vanilla". It made me smell like a man. Not a bad-smelling man but more man than any woman. If that makes sense - because I do have a couple favorite por homme scents. I also tried Al-Rehab's Golden Sand and it's another non-favorite.
• Dreams (Mariah Carey). This one surprised me by being so bad that I think maybe I got a fake. How the heck can "vanilla, sweet, powdery" come off like this??? It smells so cheap and Barbie Doll-like that I am still horrified. Usually, when I don't like a certain perfume, I can pass it along to someone on whom it smells better. This was so bad that I demanded that Amazon give me a refund and I trashed it. I told them that if it wasn't a fake, Ms. Carey should claim that it is. Got my refund.

Okay, that's not a full list but you get the gist. I hate woody smells, and smokey or harsh notes but love soft, vanilla, caramel scents. Next up are the ones I gave away or that just sit in a drawer to be blended with something else.

The "Meh" Collection

• The Only One (Dolce&Gabbana). I am still super-ticked off about this one. I used a gift card to get a roller-ball from Sephora. I shouldn't be surprised. The description mixes my favorites (caramel, sweet, powdery, vanilla) with "violet, coffee, warm spicy". Who does that? And why? This doesn't reek but it smells (on me) like warm hair grease with a spritz of perfume to kill the hair grease smell. I gave it to a nephew who can wear any scent and smell amazing. Have at it, buddy!
• The Mix:Bar collection (Target) is decent. I tried a sampler set and liked a couple. However, the Coconut Palm and Sparkling Hibiscus were okay but forgettable. The Mix:Bar collection is a budget line and the scents fade as fast as they dry on your skin, My hair will hold a scent longer so that's how I use the rest of this sampler. These two just didn't "whelm" me one way or the other. For my hair and undergarments, I do like the Cloud Musk (it really does mimic Cloud from Ariana Grande) and Vanilla Bourbon. They were good but so weak.
• Vanille (Solinotes). Another "budget" line I found on Amazon and as weak (or weaker) than the ones from Mix:Bar. I it and the Tonka scent with Google Reward Points and use them as hair scents.

There are some others but all too forgettable to waste time mentioning.  I will suggest that, if you get a perfume that is almost but not quite there, try layering it with other scents or a scented powder or lotion. That will sometimes unlock hidden magic.

Now for my fave-fave-favorites! There was a time when I wore a lot of Guerlain and Versace scents. Those times have passed. I needed to break out of old habits and explore things more in my ~hahaha~ "budget". I'm glad I started looking not at bougie names and prices and started paying attention to my favorite notes - regardless of what's on a label. I now have **** scents that I claim as staples.

The Most Loved

By the way, you will notice a trend here that still surprises even me

Fancy (Jessica Simpson). All I ever knew about her was to do with some chicken or tuna thing she said. But this perfume... Baby girl done went and did it. The others on this list are in no particular order but this is number one. It was a blind buy recommended after I loved another scent on this list.

This is everything - ev-ver-ree-thing - that I love in perfume. It's got the "sweet, vanilla, caramel, powdery" cloud that I always wanted. There's some amber and almond there with a tiny bit of floral to hold it all together. It's been years since a scent smelled so marvelous on me that I always get asked what I'm wearing. A receptionist at a doctor's office liked it so much that she actually wrote down the name.

Not A Perfume (Juliette Has A Gun). Fancy is my flirty perfume but Not A Perfume is my I'm-grown-and-killing-it perfume. It's very soft but memorable. Actually, I describe it the same way I did a former favorite, Glossier's You, as being like very soft and powdered tissue. Not toilet paper but the fancy wrapping tissue I'd get with Nordstrom gift boxes. Weird, yes, but that's what it reminds me of. It's a lot of powdery, soft, and feminine quietness in a bottle. "You" was like that until Glossier changed something. 

Not A Perfume is not a cheap perfume so I get a 5ml bottle for around $16 from the Scent Split decant site. I do the same for my 2 other favorites from the same designer Citizen Queen and Vanilla Vibes. Vanilla Vibes is one I will live without in favor of the other two. It's got a tangy vanilla, well, vibe to it that I love when I love it and am just "meh" about with I don't. Of all three, Not A Perfume is right after Fancy for me.

Another top one is  Fantasy - Intimate Edition (Britney Spears). I told my friend that I don't know what else these little gals are doing in life, but they did it for real with their perfumes. I bought this blind after reading about the accords, which include all my usual: 

vanilla

sweet

powdery

musky

ozonic

citrus

fresh

fruity

white floral

amber

When you compare it to Fancy's...

sweet

fruity

caramel

vanilla

powdery

almond

white floral

fresh

amber

nutty

... you see how similar they are. Fantasy is a bit more playful than Fancy. It's almost like the 2 scents really reflect the two singers' public personas. What surprised me is that Fantasy is more "grown up" than I expected. 

Finally, there is another one by a youngster - could I have designed such scents at their age? - and it's Cloud (Ariana Grande). I should not be surprised that I like this so much when looking at the accords:

sweet

lactonic

vanilla

coconut

musky

 What did surprise me is, again, how simple and sophisticated this is. I only have a decant for now but I might have to get a bottle soon. I get a lot of compliments - the sweetest one from one of my brothers who said, "That's by who?" LOL

That concludes my top-top-top favorites list but I have to give an honorable mention to another little floozy (just kidding, people, don't go off on me!) and that is Paris Hilton's Can Can. Actually, I stole a vial of this from one of my nieces and ended up buying some more later in a discounted tester bottle (off of eBay I think). 

I wasn't crazy about it the very first time my niece let me try hers. When I tried it later, it was beautiful. It's one that I love to layer with others - the Solinotes Vanilla or Mix:Bar's Cloud Musk - but it plays well solo, depending on how hydrated I am or what the weather is like. I won't go out of my way to buy this unless it's on sale, a decant, or as a tester but I do like it quite a lot.

Other honorable mentions:

Just Because

I've said that I have (and do) wear or enjoy fragrances for men - not just on them but... This is one that I like so much that I spray my pillows with it (you know, in lieu of having an actual man in my bed ~sigh~)

Fahrenheit (Dior). This is probably the most irresistibly attractive fragrance for men that was ever designed. The price reflects it! I did get a microdose and every now and then, I take a sniff. It's just a great smell and I can actually wear it quite well. The first time I ever caught a whiff of it is when a coworker walked past me. I just about fell out of my chair trying to follow the sexy! LOL

Habit Rouge Eau de Toilette (Guerlain).  I have always called this the brother to my beloved Shalimar. I can no longer wear Shalimar well so I sometimes cheat and dab on some Habit Rouge. 

Emeraude (Coty). This is from my youth and was my first "real" perfume. I still keep a bottle of the vintage around (found on eBay). I will spray it on my hair and undergarments when I just want to feel pretty for no reason. Again, can you spot why it's a favorite?

amber

citrus

woody

balsamic

vanilla

sweet

warm spicy

powdery

aromatic

patchouli

The patchouli is probably the only surprise other than the woody note. I never even notice that when I wear it. I just get a lot of powder and soft vanilla.

So that's it. I will most likely not try too many new perfumes in 2023 now that I've found my Greatest Hits List. 

By the way, I have mentioned here before that you don't have to go broke (or hungry, cold, or homeless) when treating yourself to perfume. There are a lot of sites for buying decants and places where you can get microdoses of perfumes. Also, try buying samples or testers from reputable eBay, Poshmark, and Mercari sellers. If you want to get regular vial-size perfume to try, check out one of the subscription services. And don't forget to sign up for something like PopSugar Dabble. Personally, I use the following sites and have never had problems. 

• ScentSplit
• MicroPerfumes
• Fragrance Net

Hope you all go into this New Year with blessings, hope, and peace.

Peace

--Free

2022 Just Won't Stop

Warning: This is a complaint-filled rant to be followed with a statement of gratitude.

2022 has possibly been the worst year out of the last seven. I'm trying to be thankful for every blessing but I am a bit stuck on the horrible things that happened. Even the beginning of the COVID pandemic wasn't as bad as the past 13 or 14 months.

2020 - minus the COVID part - was an introvert's dream. I did a lot of thinking and worked on being more self-aware. I didn't lose as many close friends and loved ones to the virus. And I survived. Not so bad, right? 2022 on the other hand has been a horror. I lost a best friend, a young niece, an aunt, a cousin, and four or five neighbor acquaintances. 

Life can be very cyclical and surprising.

My health has waited for the last weeks of this year to act like a fool. I have recently had a couple of episodes where I felt as if part of my memory had been wiped by a cartoon villain. Seriously. 

First episode:

The mailman often leaves our parcels sitting out on a bench in the lobby. While picking up my mail one day, I noticed there was a small package for a neighbor who recently had knee surgery and already uses a walker. The next day on my way to the laundry room, I saw that neighbor hobbling into the building. I waved and she hollered a thank you to me. For a moment, I thought she was being sarcastic - like "Gee thanks for getting the door for me" - and I was staring at her trying to figure out what she did mean. She said, "Thanks. You know - for bringing my package to my door."

That made sense because I will sometimes bring packages from the lobby to leave on the table outside her door, knock and leave. She lives just a door down from me and she has trouble getting around with that walker so she's used to me doing that. Sometimes, she is home, and sometimes she isn't. The problem is, I didn't remember having brought a package to her for a while. When she saw me still just looking at her, she reminded me that I'd brought a package to her the day before.

Oh. Okay.

I had zero memory of that. I do remember that I saw a package for her but not that I'd delivered it. I figured someone else had done the good deed until she kind of laughed and said, I saw you through the peephole but you were gone before I got the door open.

Let me tell you how weird it feels to have no memory of doing something. That's not the first time I've forgotten having done something but it's the first time that I still don't recall when reminded. I couldn't help but wonder if this is what a drunk blackout is like. Scary.

That was just one thing. The second episode isn't as bad but it's still freaking me out.

I don't socialize a lot with my neighbors but I might stop to chat if I see one in the lobby. One day, when I went up to ask our building manager something, she wasn't in her office. The blinds were closed, the doors were locked and the office was dark. One of my neighbors saw me standing there and asked if I didn't get the recent memo that the manager could only be reached by phone until further notice. (We get any memos from management taped to our apartment doors.) I said I hadn't seen a memo. The neighbor and I spent several minutes gossip-discussing why the manager might be off the premises for a while. 

Later that day I was doing some light cleaning and found the memo on the counter with some mail and newspapers. The memo is printed on an 8.5 x 11 piece of RED paper. Apparently, since it was with my mail and papers from the past couple of days, it had been on my door before I'd brought it into the apartment.  I just have no memory of ever seeing the red memo before then.

So, yeah. Scary. It really is like there are blank moments - wiped or deleted moments - in my memory. 

This sarcoidosis has always caused some bouts of confusion and problems with my memory, but this is totally new - at least as far as I'm aware. The next time something like this happens, I'm going to have to call my rheumatologist. But - oh wait - I don't currently have a rheumatologist... The latest one I saw is a traveler and he has gone on his merry way. My next appointment is with a rheumatologist I don't even know and who is 2 hours away. Hopefully, if something else happens before that appointment, my GP will be able to help me figure out what is going on with my brain.

I tell you guys, 2022 is the freaking gift that just keeps on crapping on life. I'm hoping that 2023 will be better. Better for all of us. Better in every way. In the meantime, no matter how often I tend to fuss, I truly am thankful for a lot.

I'm thankful for the friends and family I have left. I'm thankful that I am fed and clothed and housed. I will be going to sleep tonight in a warm and safe place to get up - God willing - to have coffee and breakfast. That's a lot. There are so many people who don't have love and support and food and medicine. There are people with worst illnesses than my own. There are people who go to sleep in fear for their life or are worried about their children or other loved ones. There are people who feel lost and alone - who are lost and alone.

I might be losing what's left of my mind but I have people who will be there for me if I ever do. For now, I was able to write out this post and get through it without too many errors and goofs.

Peace

--Free

CROSS POST *BIBLE STUDY* My Method & Some Resource Links

 The Resource Links First:

I decided to rearrange this post & list the links first. My ramblings about my study methods and reasons will follow. Enjoy.

NOTE: I try to use free resources as often as I can and donate to the creators of the material. You can find almost everything I've mentioned (especially Chuck Missler's and Dr. Martin's videos on YouTube) through your local library and via their online resources. I did purchase my LTB24 via Amazon. My library has eBook and audiobook resources via Libby, Overdrive, and Hoopla Digital. Anyway, here you go:

• eSword for PC 
• eSword for Android
• eSword for iPhone
• eSword for Mac
• eSword for iPad
• Downloads for additional eSword content (note: there is additional free & paid content w/in the PC program. I suggest starting there until you get used to the program.)
• Blue Letter Bible is a great online resource for study and commentary. BLB also has courses for serious Bible study students.
• Study Bible has various Bible versions online - including Hebrew and Greek interlinear versions.
• Koinonia House is a wonderful ministry. They are also on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and Vimeo.
• This is the Koinonia Online Bible Institute. You have to be seriously ready to study here!
• BOOK - Learn the Bible in 24 Hours (see my note below**)
• HANDBOOK - Learn the Bible in 24 Hours
• WORKBOOK - Learn the Bible in 24 Hours
• If you get only one of these, I suggest getting the Handbook to use along with the videos. I use the Handbook most out of the 3. Also, make sure that you look for used copies. All my copies are used and came in really good shape.

Now, because I know I have too many resource links to list here, I am going to fall back on past posts that list some. Keep in mind, some posts are old so some links may need replacing.

• The Great Big Bible Study Post (Part 1) Resources
• The Great Big Bible Study Post (Part 2) Resources
• Resources for the Learning Christian

 Intro to my study method:

In the past several weeks, I have gotten much deeper into Bible study. I am treating my time spent reading and studying God's Word as if it were a very important college course. I feel like I should know my Bible better than I know the storylines of TV shows or what's going on with the Kardashians.

Reading, studying, and knowing the Bible is, of course, the most important kind of intellectual pursuit for a Christian. Too often in the past, I have treated it as if it's a thing I do when I get around to it. These days, I am making time for it on a regular basis.

Because I have issues with memory and cognition, I was having a lot of trouble trying to study the Bible piecemeal or as an occasional thing. I can easily enjoy mindless and trivial things because they are not important. The Bible is very important to me so I wanted to find a way to grasp and retain as much of the study as I can.

I've talked before about how useful I find the eSword  Bible study program on my computer. It has so many (free) resources included (commentaries, dictionaries, various Bible versions, etc) that I have come to use all the time. However, one of the resources embedded into the program was difficult for me to use. The Notes and Journal tabs are fabulous for anyone with the average working brain. For me, I get tangled up in details and organization. It so happens that another resource I am using works perfectly in conjunction with eSword.

Most people who know me have heard me talk about my favorite Bible Study: Learn the Bible in 24 Hours from Koinonia House Ministries. Of course, you don't learn the Bible in that amount of time; the overall study is separated into 24 sections for small study groups (or solo students like myself) to easier digest. 

(By the way, this is a Google Books overview of the Learn the Bible in 24 Hours book.)

Materials used in my study routine:

I started the study (which I call LTB24) by watching a series of videos on YouTube. The late Chuck Missler has been a favorite Bible teacher of mine, along with Dr. Walter Martin. Missler doesn't skim through the lessons, he goes into detail, including a lot of scientific commentaries. Therefore, I ran into issues with my notetaking and organization again.

Finally, I managed to pull a personal study system together by using my Bible and Bible programs (like eSword) along with the YouTube videos and the LTB24 materials. Currently, this is what I have:

You can see how much room there is to write in notes in the books, by the way:

Get the workbook if you can (try to find it used) but it's not the most necessary of the set.

You can get a lined notebook 

This is what I use in my study to stay somewhat organized:

• Pilot Frixion erasable pens (buy once and get refills where they are cheapest) and erasable highlighters. I use these with my Rocketbook where I keep doctor's appts and appt notes. They tend to run out of ink quicker than other brands of erasable ink but they are the best.  You can find them cheaper if you shop at Jet Pens and Walmart. Shop around. 
• Re-stickable tabs like these. You can get them almost anywhere that has school supplies. I got a 500-piece set and have not had to buy anymore for over a year.
• I use cheap, thin newsprint paper to take notes because the sheets fit in my Bible and books without taking up a lot of room. They are also easy to safely glue into my Bible (using re-positional glue!) so I don't lose the notes or damage my Bible. It's much better than buying the crazily expensive Post-It Notes. I fold and tear the newsprint to the size I need and 1 ream is still lost untouched after 2 years.

Each day that I am physically and cognitively well enough, I spend an hour or so in study. This system works out wonderfully. Even if my brain acts up and I need to re-do a previous lesson, I have organized notes and information to rely on.

If you are trying to commit to a fairly rigorous Bible Study for yourself (or your small study group), I highly recommend LTB24.

About the teachers I like:

Chuck Missler, as I've said, is a teacher who goes deep when it comes to his study sessions. And, yes, there has been some minor controversy about Missler. One thing that bothers some people is that he talks about "codes" found in the Bible and often speaks about equidistant letter spacing (ELS).

In defense of Missler (because I was concerned about the ELS stuff), he only mentions ELS info as something of curiosity and interest. He was a data information guy so this was interesting to his mind. He never bases doctrine on it; he only mentions it as a point of interest and as a side note to his sessions.

As for the other "codes" he speaks of, I'm in agreement with him. He was of the mind that the Bible is of intelligent design and that there are some things that show that. One for instance is the genealogy given in Genesis *** He points out the roots of the names given and shows how, together, they spell out the basic plan of salvation. He is not adding to the Bible in this; he is showing students that God's fingerprints are all over the Holy Bible.

Missler never tries to lead anyone away from the authority of the Bible and God. I am intelligent enough to pray and think for myself. If I found such small items (as the mention of the code and ELS) I can discard that without throwing out my entire study.

The other teacher I always respected is the late Dr. Walter Martin. I would read and listen to his teachings on discernment regarding cults and false teachers and false teachings. I recommend looking up videos of his debates with the spokespeople of various sects and religions. His book (again, here is an overview from Google Books) Kingdom of the Cults is a great resource for anyone trying to understand the many, many cults and false religions. 

**Sorry if this post is a bit disjointed. I did tell you I did some rearranging! I sure hope this is helpful to anyone trying to start a serious study of the Bible from home.**

Peace

--Free

Holiday Attitudes & Understanding

 This is just a reminder that the holidays are not always joyful for some people. It's not that they are "grinches" or trying to ruin your vibe. Some of us are dealing with recent grief or life changes. Holidays are often heartbreaking reminders of the people we have lost.

There was a time when I frowned on people being down during the holidays - even though I don't make holidays a special time for being happy. 

After having recently lost a very beloved niece, I am not enjoying this holiday season as much. Thanksgiving and Christmas were my niece's favorite times of the year. It was also when she would visit her family in the Lower 48 or at least be a bigger part of our lives as we shared recipes and discussed our plans.

I'm thankful and blessed to be here and I'm aware of what the focus of the season is - for us Christians anyway. But there is some pain at Gabby not being here with us. I often tell people who offer their condolences that we are happy for her but sad for ourselves.

If you come across someone who doesn't want to be social this season, don't think badly of them. I'm already a homebody but I have managed in the past to take part in holiday dinners and get-togethers. I didn't mind being coaxed to come out of my shell. Not this year. This year, I am spending the season in meditation and reflection and in a sort of delayed mourning. I will be praying for the people whose joy is cloaked in grief or sadness or despair.

This year, I look at the decorations and can only think of Gabby. I try to plan a special meal and wish that I could hear Gabby telling me about her ideas. I wish that I could call her and ask her again how she made that pie that was her specialty. I wish that I could send her a card. I wish that I would get that December 24th text at 11:59 wishing me a Merry Christmas. I wish I could call her on New Years' Eve to yell "Happy 2023, Gabs!" only for her to return the greetings to me 3 hours later.

It's a joyous season that reminds me I can't share the joy with Gabby.

So, be mindful of people's personal struggles always - but especially at this time of year. 

There are people missing loved ones. There are people struggling to feed their children. There are people struggling to stay housed and clothed and safe. Just be mindful that we aren't all equally blessed. Just be mindful.

I do wish everyone peace of heart and mind. I wish that, even in grief or sadness, everyone recognizes the blessings of life and hope. Just because we are said that doesn't mean we are not thankful. 

Peace

--Free

NOT Made in China?

 While I'm not longer big on making New Year resolutions (birthday resolutions are better anyway), I do have one thing I'm going to work on starting in 2023. My goal is to try to support non-China-made products and goods.

I can already tell that this is going to be difficult for a LOT of reasons:

1. It's tough to find such items, especially since Amazon and Walmart are my go-to shopping places.
2. Products not made in China tend to cost more - in some cases, a lot more.
3. A lot of American-based companies' products are manufactured in China.
4. It's often difficult to tell where a product is from until after you've received it.

When I started exploring ways to weed out China-made goods, I had so much fun that I had to take a couple of Tylenol and a nap to recover.

This is a product I recently ordered for myself for Christmas: 

I stupidly assumed that it was American-made (or at least not China-made) because Nutra Track's site so proudly claims that their products are "Proudly designed in the rainy Pacific Northwest by aging fitness fanatics." In my head, "Pacific Northwest" does speak of "aging fitness fanatics"!

Well, if I had paid closer attention to the product page on Amazon before ordering the item, I would have noticed something. Someone else asked what I should have (and will be doing in the future):

Q: Where is this made?

A: Hello, Our company is US Based (Seattle, Washington) and our scales are manufactured in China to keep our price competitive.

And I can relate to the whole keeping the prices "competitive" thing. Just do a quick Amazon search on any product you want, then compare the costs of non-Chinese goods to those made almost anywhere else. Of course, the costs are higher for American-made goods for several reasons. Good reasons but, still.

However, I am talking about being more careful from here on out in choosing non-China goods. That scale was my Christmas gift (to me!) to replace my 4-year-old scale, which is also China-made...

When my family asked, as they do every year, what I wanted this Christmas, I requested a replacement for my stand mixer - a 4-quart Hamilton Beach electric stand mixer, made in the USA, mind you - that died while trying to mix brioche dough. (If I'd bought the mixer myself, I would have gotten an extended warranty. My family never does that.) 

After I asked for a replacement mixer, one of my brothers hinted that I might actually be getting a KitchenAid. That made me so happy and I assumed at first that it would definitely be American-made. But that might not be true...

Doing a little bit of research for this post on KitchenAid mixers, I ran across this on the No To China (NTC) page:

KitchenAid is indeed shifting production to hand mixers to China and didn’t bother telling its customer service team.

KitchenAid is testing the waters to see if consumers care where their mixers are made.

KitchenAid is manufacturing in Ohio, but tapping China to meet demand.

KitchenAid manufactures in both Ohio and China, and chooses to sell the cheap, China-made models through retailers like Amazon.

This information was given in answer to NTC's inquiry about the country of origin. They received a response from someone in KitchenAid's Consumer Services which NTC said:

"...led me to even more questions, as Brittany asserted that “all of our hand mixers are in fact made in Greenville, Ohio” when in the same conversation Tammy listed one model that was made in China."

Yeah, so, I am over here hoping for an American-made KitchenAid. Feel free to put that to music.

I wondered if, since there seems to be an app or extension around for almost anything, if there was one for weeding out China-made products. I found a couple of sites that are... kind of useful. Sorta, maybe, etc. I found the main ones via a page on the Kim Komando site. Here's my starter list:

• Not China
• China Never 
• Not Made in China Directory
• Product From

There is also an Alliance for American Manufacturing site worth checking out.

I had problems navigating the Not Made in China Directory. Maybe it's my browser but I had to reload the page often because the scroll bar would disappear. I sent them an email about it.

The bottom line is that it's difficult to find weed out China-made items - in-store and online. There are horror stories of some companies switching out Made in China tags to replace them with Made in USA tags. Seriously.

If you try searching Amazon with "not made in China", good luck because it doesn't work well. According to some folks on Reddit, the best way to search on Amazon is to narrow the search field by selecting "Sold By Amazon". I guess that works if you trust Amazon. I don't.

In my opinion, it's best to find several items of the kind you are looking for and then, check each product's Question & Answer section for "made in", "China, "country", and "manufactured in". If nothing comes up, I will post the question. If you are really desperate to know quickly, you can try something very risky (and you have been warned):

1. Order the item
2. Go to your Order Details page
3. Find the seller and left-click on that link to open it in a new tab
4. Cancel the order before it goes through (this is the risky part)
5. Now you can use the storefront link and either "Ask a question" with the link on the top left side or view the seller's store business address - which usually tells you all you need to know!

The seller's storefront shows their customer's feedback ratings and detailed store information, and also provides a link to other products they sell.

My question for Amazon is: why not make it easier to find a seller's storefront in the first place? In some cases, you can find a seller's storefront in other ways. You can Google-search it, or ask Reddit.

Anyway, I am going to try hard to stop buying more China-made stuff to better support U.S. workers.

Peace

--Free

FYI: My "buy American" attitude is not rooted in animosity for the Chinese people or for their country. I am trying to be pro-American worker. 

RECIPE: Easiest Pizza Dough EVER (and baking tips)

 Mmmm... Pizza...

It was just a month ago that I was ranting about the Mama Cozzi's Pizza Dough that I was getting from Aldi's. One reason I like it is that it's cheap. But, still, the price was bouncing around from $1.50 some days to $1.95 other days. And the last time I got a bag delivered, it was really wet and soggy. Instacart did give me a refund but... That made me decide to stop being lazy and make my own. (It's about to be a new year and I'm working on scrimping even more than usual more to save money.)

Use this recipe if you want a tasty and crispy dough that's good enough to eat by itself!

This recipe is from someone I've always kind of rolled my eyes at. That's just because I get so tired of everyone becoming a brand... In this case, it's The Pioneer Woman. Anyway, this recipe made me unroll my eyes and get to work. This is the link to the official recipe (and do check out her other recipes!) but I did make some modifications that I want to share. Also, I culled a nice tip from someone who also used the recipe. I suggest reading the tips before using the recipe. Just saying...

Make & Freeze Pizza Dough

from The Pioneer Woman

INGREDIENTS: (I added some helpful links)

4 1/2 tsp. quick-rise yeast

2 c. warm water (115F) (about the "wrist temp" of a baby bottle)

2 tsp. sugar

5 c. bread flour (600g per King Arthur Baking)*

1/4 c. olive oil

1 tsp. salt 

(*I prefer measuring large quantities of baking ingredients in Metric because it's more accurate than depending on the Imperial system of cup size, etc. Also, the King Arthur chart shows variances between types of flour.)

DIRECTIONS (don't forget to check the tips below)

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine yeast, warm water, and sugar, and let sit for 10 minutes. The liquid should be foamy and bubbly, indicating that the yeast is alive. 
2. Add the bread flour, olive oil, and salt. Stir using the dough hook or a wooden spoon, until roughly combined (this means no loose flour pieces in the bottom of the bowl). Fit the bowl and the dough hook onto the stand mixer and knead on medium-low speed for 10 minutes, until smooth. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and let rise for about 30 minutes, until the dough has doubled in size. 
3. Remove the dough to a lightly floured surface and divide it into four even pieces. Shape each piece of dough into a ball. (You can weigh it on a scale. I just flattened my dough into a rectangle then eye-balled cutting into even pieces.)
4. The dough is now ready to be rolled out and baked, or ready to be frozen. 
5. To freeze the pizza dough: place the pizza dough balls into resealable plastic bags. Make sure that if you put multiple balls of dough in one bag, you use parchment paper or wax paper to keep them separated. 
6. To thaw:  move the pizza dough from the freezer to the refrigerator the morning before you want to make dinner, then roll and bake as usual. I move mine to the fridge the night before. See tips for why that is.)
   
7. To bake: preheat the oven to 500˚. (Yes, she means 500F) Roll the thawed (or freshly made) dough and bake each pizza for about 10 to 15 minutes. (For my smaller-diameter pizza, it was finished at 12 minutes on apprx. 450F.)

Tips & Modifications:

• BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING: If you are going to be freezing part of this, make sure that you have either resealable plastic bags (quart or gallon size) that seal tightly or a bag-sealing machine. You want to make sure to tightly seal these for freezing.
• Because I don't have an oven light or proofing box, before I start Step 2, I turn on my oven (about 150-200F) to warm up. I set a timer to stop after about 5 minutes and I check with a thermometer that the oven is at a safe temp for the yeast in the dough. I learned from Knead Rise Bake that the ideal temp for this is 75-80F. The page also has tips for other ways to proof bread in the oven. Also, know that I have used a heating pad on Low underneath a pan to help the bread dough rise! It did work.
• Also at Step 2, I was careful not to add all the flour at once. I held back about a cup and added it a little at a time. I find that it's easier to add flour to a dough than to add liquid. I ended up using all the flour & then having to use a bit more during the shaping process. Next time I know that I might need to add a few tablespoons more to the initial mix. 
• When covering the dough to proof in the oven, make sure to a) lightly spray the plastic wrap with a bit of oil. I did not and my dough stuck to the wrap because it rose so well, and b) use a large enough bowl. My bowl was too small in the first place.
• To make sure my dough is "roughly combined", I will use a spoon or spatula & check underneath to make sure to get all the raggedy bits of flour tucked into the dough. (My mixer doesn't always pick up and combine these loose bits on the bottom.)
• At Step 3, when I removed my dough from the bowl, it was stickier than I liked. I just added a little more flour to the board until it was less sticky & hard to work with.
• Also - when getting ready to divide your dough: the recipe suggests 4 pieces and that worked for me to make a pizza that was roughly 9.5 inches in diameter with a medium-thick crust. If you are feeding a family, you might want to divide the dough into 2 pieces. I guess it depends on how thick or thin of a pizza you want. 
• For thawing, some users on the recipe page said the thawed dough wasn't rising well. Another user with the handle  tah3169 had this useful tip: "... when you take out the dough from freezer put in refrigerator overnight to defrost. Once defrosted put in a greased bowl and cover with wrap at least 2 hours before cooking." I have not thawed any of my dough but I will try this.
• My dough did rise very well but I have just learned to eyeball when my dough is or isn't ready. I highly recommend the Chain Baker site and the YouTube channel for learning from someone who explains things well. I go directly to the Learning page on his site at least twice a week! (I try to donate a couple of dollars via YouTube because he's helped me so much.)
• The 500 degrees seemed high to me but it is correct. The high temp is what makes the crust crispy. My oven tends to run high though so I went with 450. I also always oil the edges of my crust with olive oil. With this dough, I lightly oiled the baking pan with some of my garlic-infused olive oil. The crust was the best I've ever had on any pizza. I could have just eaten the crust with some dipping sauce!
• By the way, I wondered why great cooks and bakers like mom and other kitchen pros always use wooden spoons. I learned that this is because wood is very sturdy and doesn't react badly with yeast and other ingredients. I actually think my mom just preferred wood spoons. If anyone else knows more about this, let me know.

This is what happens when you don't oil the plastic wrap for proofing. (The last thing I made was brioche so I forgot that other doughs rise so much!). The lesson: Use a larger bowl than I did to allow for the rise and oil the plastic wrap! I would also go ahead and lightly oil the bowl...

Bowl is too small and the wrap is too tight

These are my remaining 3 pieces of dough. I didn't weigh them but will do that next time and maybe remember to update this post with more pics.

You can tell I eye-balled the divisions

Now, remember, everyone's ovens and mixers, etc are not equal. My poor little almost-dead stand mixer did get through this dough (because I only had to use low speed!) but I think I could have done it by hand. That would be some serious work though. 

I'd suggest following the directions the first time you make this dough, then use your instincts next time. You know your kitchen and equipment better than anyone so you may want to modify the baking temp or add more or less flour to the dough, etc. 

More Helps & Guides:

By the way, as I mentioned, I have learned that it's easier (and more accurate) to measure using the metric system for large quantities. I have at least 3 sets of measuring cups. I have tested and found that each "cup" is a little off from the others. There are no big differences but for baking, it's better to be more exact. Here are some sites for looking up or converting  Imperial (U.S.) vs Metric:

• The National Institute of Standards & Technology (NIST) seems to be the best starting place though the conversions are approximate. (BTW, the site also has this page for anyone wanting to learn how to actually do conversions. Uh, this is math and math gives me a headache but for those who dig that sort of thing, go knock yourselves out. I'll have Tylenol waiting when you finish!) Here is the chart for cooking:

• Spruce Eats always has a helpful chart or two.
• Baker Bettie (I just like the "Baker Bettie" handle!)
• The android app US-Metric/Imperial Converter by MobiSys has an incredible 4.9-star rating. I've not yet downloaded it but added it because it's for more than cooking. (As with any phone app, if you use it, make sure to run it through your virus scanner!) And, no, I'm not sponsored by them nor am I promoting the app.
• Better Homes & Gardens has a pretty complete chart

I have a perfectly good & highly accurate scale that I think I paid about $11 for a couple of years ago but I'm almost hoping it breaks down so that I can get this one! 

It's cheaper at Walmart than on Amazon.
Just saying...

LOL

Last tip: If you want to test your food scale for accuracy, try weighing something you bought that has the weight on it. I check my scale often by weighing packaged meat. 

UPDATE: I picked up some tips I want to add:

• To make the dough easier to stretch (when preparing to use), set it out & let it come to room temp. This was a game-changer for me since I did have trouble stretching the dough.
• Add a little flavored olive oil to the crust. I have oiled my crust but forgot to always use my garlic olive oil. 
• After you spread the sauce and before you add toppings, sprinkle with oregano, garlic powder, parmesan, etc. I can't recall if I mentioned this or that I sometimes add real bacon bits.
• Jazz up boring (or cheap) sauce by adding small pieces of diced fresh tomatoes or finely chopped garlic. 
• If you want the pizza a little more done but are nervous about burning it (I have this dilemma with cast iron pans), turn off the oven and let the pie stay inside for a few more minutes. I know that my cast iron holds heat and will continue to cook the dish for several minutes. Don't forget to check every few minutes though.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: I can talk all the smack I want about The Pioneer Woman brand but, honey, they (the brand) have the cutest heart-shaped ceramic pie pans!!! I was gifted a set of small pan and a large one. So I love some of the stuff but I still hate all the branding and everyone going corporate. 

Using Powdered Goat Milk for Beauty Is… Different

 As always, I have been trying something new with my hair. I've been keeping it cut short because it's so much easier to take care of but there's a problem.  It seems so much drier than when it was longer.

After using all my old standby products that used to work for keeping my hair soft and moisturized, I had to get a little radical. I am now adding powdered goat milk to some rinse-out conditioners. 

I got the idea after seeing that so many hair and skin products include goat milk in the ingredients. The thing is, most of those products tend to be pricier than similar products (face creams, curl creams, body lotions, etc.) so... what's up with that? I searched around to see why goat milk is supposed to be so awesome when used topically.

• This page talks about goat milk benefits for skin.
• Beekman 1802 has a Goat Milk Hair Conditioner - uh, for $1.35/oz. - per OUNCE... What?!?!?!?
• The Ziaja storefront has a Goat's Milk Milky Face Wash, and...
• ... A whole line of goat milk products.
• I saw that Curly Nikki makes her own hair mask

Goat milk? Really?

Hmmm...

I was really intrigued so looked at several more goat milk hair products and skin products. I was really interested in the hair products but the prices got higher and higher so I decided to copy Curly Nikki. Kind of.

Curly Nikki is a genius and you can see how she did a whole from-scratch thing with her conditioner. She also had access to fresh goat milk. Me? I had to go off in a little bit of a different direction.

I don't have access to fresh goat milk. I mean, I might could get some (because I do live in Iowa) but it's much easier to get the powdered product from a reliable source. I also don't have the patience or brain energy to put together a bunch of the ingredients Curly Nikki used.

What I did was use some powdered (but 100% and whole-fat) goat milk from Hoosier Hill Farm. I already use and trust that brand for other dairy products to save money and cut back on waste. 

Separated into 1 & 2 oz bags and vac-sealed 
before storing in the freezer

To make a rinse-out conditioner, I put together some of the 3 store-bought conditioners that I already have on hand. I didn't really do a lot of measuring. I just put equal parts of the conditioners into a glass pump bottle and mixed up about 2 tablespoons of goat milk made with filtered water to add to that. I mixed the goat milk and water in my milk frother before adding it to the conditioner then I did the shake, shake, shake dance and called it good. There was enough of that first mix for 2 conditioning masks.

I got in the shower, washed my hair with my usual shampoo, then applied my goat milk conditioner and let it stay on for about 3 or 4 minutes. I noticed immediate softening as I was massaging it into my hair. It made my hair feel really soft and easy to detangle - so much more so than when using just regular conditioner. Looking into the shower mirror, I could see that my curls were popping! Normally, my wet hair is very blah, flattened, and kind of scraggly looking. It's not until after I towel-dry and start adding my products that my curls perk up. And my hair was just so freaking SOFT!

As I rinsed, I was just amazed at how nice my hair felt. As I said, it was also much easier to detangle it with my fingers. It was after I applied a little bit of oil and some curl cream and let my hair completely dry that I was convinced that the goat milk had done something. I went very light on the oil and cream because I wanted to check the lasting effects of the goat milk.

For TWO hours or so after my hair was dry, I kept waiting for it to start feeling the way it does if I don't soak it with creams and moisturizers. Still good. Three hours, and it was still good. By the time I went to bed, I was totally convinced that I'd been missing out.

Now, come the morning, my hair had lost a lot of the initial softness but it was not nearly as dry as usual. I used some more of my regular curl creams and moisturizers but really wanted to get back to the initial softening from the goat milk. (As the day wore on, my hair got drier and drier. I realized that I should have done the usual sealing and heavy moisturizing after using the goat milk. I know for next time!)

I went online and checked up on how long goat milk stays "good". The powder (which I vac-seal and freeze in small quantities) keeps for longer than I will ever need it to. Once it's made into a liquid, it's to be refrigerated - just like any kind of dairy.

Hmmm...

My plan is to experiment with adding goat milk to some of my curl creams. My hair did retain a lot of the curl definition from when I used the conditioner. I'm just concerned with contamination. I suppose I can try the goat milk in a small amount of one of my cheaper leave-ins and keep the concoction in the fridge. I will have to think about it for a while. In the meantime, I did play around with some tiny amounts of the milk to see how it works as a face cleanser and lip scrub. (I'm too cheap to go wild using up the milk powder!)

For a lip scrub, I added a tiny bit of the powder (sans water) into some apricot oil. The powder is slightly gritty (but a lot more gentle-feeling than salt or sugar) so it did exfoliate my lips. The oil worked well with the powder. I didn't even have to rinse the scrub away because it came 

 off with a baby wipe.

 

I also made a highly diluted face wash using filtered water, a teeny-tiny bit of goat milk, a gentle soap, and some oil. I'm not one to use soap on my face because I find it very drying. After using this DIY face wash I have to say that it was a nice change from just using oil and baby wipes. I won't need to use the face wash often - maybe after wearing makeup? - but it was refreshing for a really deep clean.

You can see the texture of the lip scrub on my finger and spread onto the back of my hand - slightly gritty but so mild.

By the way, I wish I could find some of those tiny empty round containers in glass. These plastic ones came in a pack of (I think) 20 and have lasted me for about 2 years. I fill them with petroleum jelly, colored cosmetic powders, and pigments that I get from Making Cosmetics (to customize my makeup). I got the jars from Amazon but see that these particular ones are no longer available. There are several similar ones though. I want glass ones for the goat milk scrub but... glass ones are much more expensive than the 6 bucks I paid for 20 or 25 of the plastic version! LOL

Anyway. I don't mind having the tiny amounts of lip scrub (in plastic) even though I can use up a jar in a week. 

Of course, after success with the conditioner and the lip scrub, my crazy brain was buzzing with ideas for how else to use the powder. For body scrubs, foot soaks, scalp exfoliations, oh my! However, I am restraining from all that. Right now, I am happy enough to have a good conditioner. Maybe one day I will figure out a way to incorporate the powder with some leave-in hair products - but all that will require some research and possibly getting some preservatives over at Making Cosmetics. and...

...Yeah, Nah. I'm trying to save money, not find new ways to spend it! For now, the conditioner is good. At the most, I will see about doing a light leave-in rinse of conditioner/goat milk. The one good thing about this particular goat milk powder is that it does not stink. I've heard horror stories of goat milk funk and I'm not trying to get into that. As for this, dry or watered, it has a very mild, fresh, and oddly sweet scent. I like the smell.

As a beverage, I didn't think I'd like it but I did try a bit by itself as milk and added (just the powder) to my hot tea. I haven't had cow milk in so long that I can't really compare this. I can say that this is pleasant to drink (if you are into dairy) but it is different from cow milk. I'll say that is closer to slightly sweet soy milk. It's touted as being more nutritious (and easier for some people to digest) but it also has more fat and calories than cow milk. It's certainly more expensive in the grocery store. Pros and cons, people, pros and cons. 

Speaking of the pros and cons, there is a ton of debate about whether cow or goat milk is better. This is just one page I picked of the many thousands that came up in search results. (As a CKD patient, I notice that goat milk has a lot more of the stuff I need to monitor - phosphorus and potassium - so there's that.)

But back to the topical uses. If I do get around to trying this in some other way - for my hair or body or feet - I will surely do an update. In the meantime, I've got to think of a way to do a leave-in rinse!

Peace

--Free

P.S.: The price of the goat milk powder I get from Amazon varies wildly. It has gone up by at least $1.50 since I got it. I don't know why but you should shop around for goat milk. Prices vary for powder, liquid, canned, etc. Check the big box stores but don't forget to look for sales at local grocery stores.

INCIdecoder (Decoding Product Ingredients)

I didn't realize how many people are unaware of a useful site called INCIdecoder. It's where you can "decode ingredient lists like a pro". (INCI stands for International Nomenclature of Cosmetic Ingredients.)

The site is so helpful - especially for people with allergies or who just want to know what's in their products and how those ingredients work in that product. Not only can you check ingredient lists but you can learn how to read basic them. But there are pros and cons.

PROS:

• You can just copy/paste the entire ingredient list for a product into the search bar to start. 
• I have at times, seen included on the info page, other products with "similar ingredients". That's useful.
• Not only can you search for products/ingredients but you can submit additions to be considered. 
• For products/ingredients you like (or dislike), you can find similar ones.
• You can search by copying/pasting the ingredient list of an item from one place (ex: Amazon, Walmart, etc) and pasting it into the search or by uploading a photo of the list (which is helpful when you have an actual product on hand).
• You can get a quick "skim through" of a product's ingredients rating showing what's considered good, best, and worst (aka: "Goodie", Superstar", and "Icky"!)
• With a login, you can save products you find to lists you create.

CONS:

• Searching by a product brand/label name can be tricky. I prefer to search by ingredients.
• Even when you create a login, there's no way to see your history (except by searching your own browser history).
• Quite a few common items (at least since I've used the site) are not yet in the database. However, this is why it's good to submit additions.
• I had to actually go off the site and Google to find where on the INCI irritancy level explanation. So they definitely need a good site map put together. 

The pros outweigh the cons and I love using the site - which I do mainly for cosmetics and other personal care products.

Pictures work better than words so, as an example of how the site works, I will share what is shown on a page for a random product. I picked Beauty of Joseon Ginseng Essence Water, which I use and love, by the way.

Notice that this one 
was an upload from an INCI user

"Trying Out" is 1 of my
custom lists

On the below Overview, clicking on the circled i will give bring up a thumbnail of info about the product

With options to Save, Compare,
Add Photo, etc.

In the pic below, the next-to-last column rates the level of irritancy (explained here). The last column shows the rating of 

As you can see, you can go deeper and deeper into explanations of ingredients by clicking on their links. Notice that for the Ginseng Water, there is no info for the root water, but it does give alternate names (also-called) for it that you might see on labels.

And, because so many of us gals are not already product junkies... LOL

It was nice to be able to click on "Skin-identical" and learn more about that type of ingredient. 

In case I wanted to know what some other skin-identical ingredients are, there's a list. I circled ingredients that I tend to really like. I am surprised that more natural oils aren't listed but this might not be a near-complete list.

Tips and Tricks:

• If you can't find a product by name, Google to find a list of the ingredients to copy/paste into INCI. The ingredients are the main thing you probably want to know about. Also, there are a lot of copy-cats of name-brand products so, again, it's about the ingredients.
• You can also Google the product + "INCI decoder" to see if a direct link comes up.
• When you find a product that you like, save it to a custom list so you can refer back for more products with (or without) certain ingredients.
• You might be able to find cheaper versions of products that you like and that work for you. I do this with hair care. Most of my favorites can be spendy so if I can find a copycat or something at least similar, then I'm willing to try it.

And know that this is not just for beauty and cosmetics - that's just all I ever used it for. When I was writing this post, I did a quick search and found things like household cleaners. I couldn't find Mr. Clean but found a Mrs. Meyers product! I found a list of Mr. Clean's ingredients online and did a copy/paste and got some info anyway.

My hope is that, with more and more people not only using the site but taking the time to submit products, INCI will become more complete. I'd love to see info on more cleaning products and afro-hair products and just more of everything.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: Apologies for any incoherence. I'm really worn out & didn't spend a lot of time editing this post so... Enjoy it anyway.

**Adventures In Baking** The Thing About Brioche

 I woke up the night before last with a sudden anxiety attack. I haven't been able to calm down since. Today, I tried to soothe myself by baking. My anxiety abated only to be replaced with extreme frustration. The good thing is, I was finally able to laugh. But I didn't know what I was laughing about. (Does laughing about nothing make sense? I don't know.) Since I felt like I might be losing a little bit of my mind, I decided to try some baking therapy.

My goal was to make my first brioche loaves. The general plan was to make one plain - maybe with some sesame seeds on top - and the other with a lemony cream cheese swirl throughout. That sounded a little bit ambitious - plus, every recipe I found calls for a lot of eggs. I decided to just start with plain brioche.

The recipe I found via a YouTube video was simple enough. And I had all the tools and ingredients needed. 

Six eggs, people. SIX!

Leave it to me to screw up a simple recipe.

First issue:

The video cook obviously has a really nice stand mixer - or at least one with a really good motor. I have a very decent 4-quart Hamilton Beach with a 300-watt motor. It's a nice little mixer, no doubt about it. I have never had trouble doing any of the cakes and basic bread dough that I am familiar with. However, brioche is not your "basic" dough and I am not familiar with it.

Brioche is a very wet and sticky dough that requires a LOT of kneading. The video cook warned about that, saying not to attempt using anything but a stand mixer (and one day I'm going to look into how brioche was made before people had good mixers). Her directions are to knead at "low" speed for anywhere from 10 up to as long as 20 minutes, depending. Let's focus on the words "low" and "depending".

On my mixer, the bread hook is to be used on "low" - meaning Speed 1. That made sense to me so that is what I used. And used and used and used. For almost an hour. My dough never did pass the "window pane" test. Since my mixer was starting to feel very warm, I decided to be happy with the dough pulling easily away from the sides of the bowl. For another 10 minutes (past the hour mark), I ran the mixer at speeds somewhere between 2.5 and 3 - which is the speed I should have been using from the start (or not). By the time the dough was easily pulling away from the sides, my poor mixer was straining like the little engine that couldn't.

Now, I guess "depending" means depending on whether or not you have a mixer with a motor stronger than 300 watts. I'm not sure how strong a motor has to be to properly work this kind of dough. 

Just a little less wet & sticky than
cake batter!

For the first proof - the "warm proof" - my still-sticky dough went into an oiled bowl for an hour. Because I always keep my apartment on the cool side, I put the dough in the oven at what some people call the "light-on point". My oven doesn't have an actual light so I just turned the knob until I heard the first little click. That means my oven is on and will warm slightly but not (hopefully) get hot enough to damage the yeast.

Second issue:

When I checked the proofing at 30 minutes, I thought that my yeast must have gone bad.

An hour into the proofing, my dough looked as if it had only risen the very slightest amount. Was that right? I don't know because this is my first brioche. I went and scanned the internet, got overwhelmed, then I called my brother. I'm kind of irritated that my brother knew that brioche doesn't rise like "regular" dough. I have no idea what that means but at this point, I am not messing around anymore with this damned dough.

I punched down the dough (which did not seem necessary), and put it into the fridge for the second rise - the long, "cold-proof".

Can I just say that I do not understand cold-proofing dough? The only time I've ever put any dough in the fridge is when I want to slow down the proofing. So at this point, I am frustrated and very confused on top of which I feel really stupid. The only reason I kept going is that I'd had to use 6 eggs and eggs are extremely expensive right now. People, my head hurt so badly and I felt like an idiot. I just knew that I was screwing up this recipe. And I'd used my last 6 eggs.

Anyway.

When it was time to take the dough out of the fridge I realized something. I keep my fridge cold. Very cold. I went to pull the dough out of the bowl to shape 12 pieces and realized how freaking cold it was. I was pretty sure that I'd almost frozen it. But, once my fingers warmed it during shaping, it was still slightly sticky!

Boy, boy, boy...

At this point, I'm too far in to quit. I go ahead and shape the dough and layer it in the loaf pans to proof them for two and a half hours. I set a timer for 30 minutes so I can check on the proofing.

After thirty minutes, I realize that my kitchen may be too cool for the dough to proof. I didn't want to turn up my heat or run the oven so I was trying to think of a different (and more cost-effective) way to generate some warmth. First thought: heat some water in the Ninja to add to hot tap water. I could set the pans over the sinkful of warm water. That sounded like a lot of hassle and I was worn out from this whole ordeal. 

Now, here is where I have to pat myself on the back. As dumb as I often feel these days, I have flashes of real ingenuity. This is what I came up with.

Those are my loaf pans sitting on a heating pad ( set to Low) and under a damp kitchen towel. Genius, I tell you.

So after two and half hours -

Gawl-lee!

- my loaves had risen wonderfully. Well, at least, better than I'd expected them to rise...

Man! I was so happy. I was thinking that, even if my brioche doesn't turn out awesome this first time, I am learning so much about the dough.

I added some toasted  white sesame seeds

Now here is something about brioche and timing: decide how late you want to be up dealing with the dough. I should have started the process much earlier (or later) in the day. Or just late enough that I could fridge-proof the dough overnight. As it turned out, I didn't want the dough to be in the fridge for too long so I kept going and wasn't able to get the bread into the oven until after eleven. But I have insomnia anyway so...

Well, how did the bread come out? Not bad at all, my friends!

At this point, my apartment smells amazing and some of my anxiety has gone away. I am so proud of this bread that I could cry. The only thing is I am not supposed to eat anything until in the morning because I am doing IF. But... I might have to cheat and have just a taste of the bread before I seal it up for freezing. I will be back to finish this post once I've had my first taste.

NEXT DAY...

... I did have a taste because I was so excited for one of my neighbors to try it. It's nothing like the super-soft and buttery brioche I buy from Aldi but it wasn't awful. It was more bread-like than I thought it should be. My neighbor (who is more honest and unfiltered than a 5-year-old) said that it had a "beautiful" taste but was a little bit dry. As they say on the GBBO, I'll take that. 

I am ashamed to admit that I showed off some pictures to friends and family on Facebook. I decided that I would save my beautiful-tasting "but a little bit dry" brioche to better use as the base for bread pudding.

Yay! I did it. I made brioche and I didn't totally screw it up. I will try to make a lemon cream cheese-filled version next time. I still owe my little brother a birthday treat anyway.

Peace

--Free

P.S.: Since I first wrote this post, I did attempt the filled version. It did not go well because my poor mixer died during the kneading process. One minute, it was chugging right along and the next minute it began to sound like it had developed emphysema. The bread hook was barely turning. I tried to finish kneading by hand (impossible to do, by the way) and just ended up going through the rest of the process with the dough as it was. Result? It smelled great but it was barely proofed. I couldn't really work with the dough during the shaping process and... after baking, half the dough was a melted mess of ick.

When my niece called me, I told her that I'd changed my Christmas gift wish. Hopefully, I get a replacement (but stronger) mixer this year...