Funny, Funny

Okay. So many of us have been having a crappy, depressing week that I thought it was time for a giggle or two or...Well, just to have a laugh. I found some funnies to share.

One-liners:

• Someday, we'll look back on this nervously and change the subject... (courtesy of Hilarious Quotes- as is the next line...)
  
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the Escape key (link here)

Bumper Stickers:

• Never give yourself a haircut after 3 margaritas
• Who lit the fuse on your tampon? (Bit o' fun)
• If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair & make me scream
• If you're not a hemorrhoid, get off my ass
• Eat Right, Exercise, Die anyway
• Damned if I do, Damned if I don't...so, damnit, I will!
• Horn broken - watch for finger

If you hate your job sometimes:

• I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead
• Difference between the Pope & your boss: The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring
• Work: it isn't just for sleeping anymore
• The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts
• If at first you don't succeed, try management

Just cute & funny:

• Take my advice, I don't use it anyway
• Even crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it
• It's not how you pick your nose, but where you put the booger

Confucious Say: (Thanks again to Bit Of Fun!)

• Crowded elevator smells different to midget
• Virginity like bubble - one prick, all gone!
• Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there
• Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it

Why...? (Bit Of Fun)

• ...Is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid with real lemons?
• ...Don't psychics ever win the lottery?
• ...Do we drive on "parkways" and park on "driveways?"
• ...Do we choose 2 people to run for President & 50 for Miss America?
• ...If "love is blind," why is lingerie so popular?
• ...Do you press harder on the remote control when you know the battery is dead?

And, even though I know it's wrong...
Yo Mama Jokes:

Your mama is so ugly...

• ...When she joined an ugly contest, they told her "Sorry, no professionals."
• ...When she tried to take a bath, the water jumped out 

 Your mama is so old...

• ...Her social security number is "1"
• ...When she was in school, there was no History class
• ...Her birth certificate is expired
• ...She knew Burger King when he was a Prince

And, okay! That's enough of a giggle for the day. I feel a little bit better - how about you?

Peace
--Free