My Personal Weirdities

My family tells me often that I am a unique kind of person. What they mean (and what my sister and one of the BFFs will come right out and say) is that I have a lot of strange traits or ways about me. What makes me laugh is that some people think I should be offended to be thought of that way. Uh, I'm not, thank you. I'm good with the fact that I am a little out of the normal mold.

I flaunt my uniqueness. I say that I "flaunt" it, but when the BFF dared me to post about it, I did cringe a little. But I have this awful habit. If someone dares me to do something.... (Other than anything involving my phobias!)

So here goes:

Food: I don't like to eat in public. I will though. Of course, I will. Now that I am on prednisone, I'll sit at Queen Elizabeth's table and take food off Philip's plate. Are you kidding me? That's now. I'm less shy now, but when I was a teenager, I'd starve before I'd let anyone out of my close circle see me chewing. (I don't know why, except I read once where a rich chick said, no one looks good chewing or - I don't know what else, maybe she said blinking or something? shrug.)

Relaxation: I will sometimes sleep "ready-roll." That means in my clothes, not in anticipation of fire. My mother hated this when I was younger. She'd sometimes come and wake me up at a crazy hour of the night just to make me put on pajamas. My father didn't think it was all that bad. He'd tell my mom that I was saving her time on laundry. (I have this habit because I always go to sleep either reading, writing or watching TV. Unless I get to have sex. Then the Vicky Secret stuff comes out and goes on full parade. Before I got this fat, I sometimes wore cute stuff to bed just to feel cute. But since I'm fat and separated, no sex. No sex, no reason not to read myself to sleep. It's all good.)

Style: I will cut or dye my hair on a whim. I have no problem doing something strange to my hair because it's the one thing that always came back or could be purchased. Once, I asked a stylist to cut my hair so drastically short that she spent a couple hours trying to talk me out of it. As she put the razor to my nape, she was saying, "Are you absolutely sure?" Then there was the time I dyed my hair with some kind of streaking kit. I was in Texas and it was full-on summer. Between the dye kit and that sun, I looked like that crazy-assed demon spawn that is Nicki Minaj. Don't know who this fool is?

this is a relatively "normal" look for Miss Crazy

Keep in mind that I'm a tad bit more, shall we say chocolate-toned than she is. I'm saner, but darker.

Yeah. So. Moving along...

Mood: It doesn't take much to make me laugh, cry or get really, really pissed off. At Mach 10. (I'd like to blame this on Sarc or meds or hormones, but...) I have what one of my brothers calls a "mercurial" personality. In other words, I can be kind of a sweetheart, a softy or a bitch - with a short time lapse rotation. Usually, you can take a couple of deep breathes in between my mood changes. ("Mercurial." Hmph.) I prefer to think that I am just kind of sensitive and misunderstood & I think that my medical condition does make things worse. However, when I say this to my sister or any of the BFFs, they just kind of go, "Uh... yeah. All right." (I'll get some phone calls the minute I publish this post, watch.)

People: I'm very quick to either like or dislike someone. I think I have good judgement about people. I always pick up on a "vibe" when I meet people. Usually, I am right, but I have, at times, been really, really  wrong. Not often. (I absolutely loathed a woman who is now one of the BFFs, and let's not forget that I married the Permian Basin Pycho.) And I'm the kind that I make the people I like a part of my life forever. Good people are not disposable.

Fantasy Life: (This one is really the most embarrassing.) I once wrote a liar-letter to Michael Jackson so that he'd want to meet me. I was about 13 or 14 and I wrote a fan letter lying about how I was really sick and all I'd ever wanted was to meet him. How freaking manipulative is that? And it's not even very creative, shame on me. (Good thing they didn't have Make A Wish back then or I'd've have done something really pathetic like shave my head and pretend to have leukemia or something.) By the way, I got busted. The letter came back as "Undeliverable" because of a bad address or something. My mother found out what I did. I got my ass whipped with a switch she made me pick from the front yard and I was grounded for a couple weeks. (I think she even outed me in church, but I can't remember for sure.)

Another weirdity involving Mr. Jackson: I told people who didn't know our family well that I was related to the Jackson Five. My mother's maiden name helped with that little lie. I got away with this for most of my Middle School years. I don't know why people didn't wonder why, if I had such famous relatives, we didn't exactly live the lifestyle.

(I'm thinking about all this now and wonder why I was such a little tale-teller when I was young? Damn. I was like a politician under oath!)

You know what? I don't even want to play this game anymore. This thinking about things I've done makes me pretty sure I need to go and pray. Right now.

Peace

--Free

Them, They, Us

Now that I have told you about my "friend," I feel free to tell you about a conversation he, D and I had a few weeks ago. (We do this weird thing when Rick's in town where we call D to discuss life, politics and, of course, my book - which is coming along slowwwly.) It was a discussion that almost turned into a heated debated, but ended up being a learning experience.

The topic: Race and the media (or race in the media).

My friend (I will call him "Rick") was talking about some news article. He got all heated because it's his feeling that the media generally slants toward negative racial stereotypes. He is Indian (think Eastern not Native American) and has the brain of a researcher and the soul of a civil rights activist. (I do have such interesting people in my life.) D is multi-racial (black and asian/black).

Rick was so upset that I got a little uncomfortable. I mean, I know about the ignorance of racism. I've been a guilty party (when I was younger, dumber and hotter-tempered) and a victim (at times, not as often as could be). Luckily, my skin is pretty thick and my brain is sometimes slow to absorb. When I am in the presence of the extreme stupidity of a bigot, I either blow it off or (and this is a plus side to my medical issues) I miss that shit entirely. Sometimes, I am an hour past the situation before I go, "Oh! Huh? Aw, hell no, they didn't!!!" (LOL) Most of the time, I just don't let it rain on my mental joy parade. Age brings mellow.

That's me. Rick, though, doesn't let too much fly past him. He doesn't look for stuff to get pissed about, but he has a kind of radar for it.

In the conversation we had, I tried to cool it all out by telling him about an Indian comedian I recently heard. The comic said he wins the "rough life" struggle hands down over black people. "You grew up in the "hood?" I grew up in the Third World. You had rats and roaches in your home? I did too and we called it dinner. You had hand-me-down shoes? I made those shoes!"

Thank goodness that Rick didn't think I was being insensitive in repeating the joke. He didn't, but it didn't cool things out much. (D, however, thought that was the funniest shit he'd ever heard and for the rest of the conversation, he'd break out into insane giggles at inappropriate moments.)

Nothing is going to chill Brother Malcom X Ghandi, but he did agree with me on one point. (Thank goodness I had a very clear and coherent few minutes at just the right time.) Here is my whole stance:

Until we all get past the whole "Them, They and Us" mentality, there won't be much understanding. We are somehow infected with the idea of separating ourselves by race, class, gender, likes, dislikes, size of hands, feet, etc. I think it's just such a human thing to compare. (I am almost sure this happens about two seconds after we leave the womb and breathe air.)  It's fine to distinguish  or identify ourselves, but anytime we start comparing - something or someone or some group is going to feel superior or inferior. Since we can't change that mentality, we have to learn to respect (or disrespect) each other as individuals and not as groups. (One day, I'm going to be able to go into Walmart and not cringe with personal shame when I see some black woman popping and rolling her neck as she screams across three aisles for her bad-ass child to "get back over here NOW!" Yeah, I said it.)

I'm really happy to say that Rick gave me a high five on that one. I respect and value his opinion because where I have common sense, he has tons of "book smarts." (You all know I love my geeks, right? Well, he is to Geekdom what Adonis is to hotness. Helps that he's pretty damn hot himself.)

Anyway, even D was able to control his manic giggling long enough to say that I'd given him something to think about. I wish he'd have thought about how his girlish laughter made it hard to keep my train of thought.

Of course, we didn't solve any major world crisis, but we all feel better about the subject. (And if Rick keeps it up, I'm going to make him a freaking red, green and black flag even though I have explained to him that I am a black American and not African-American. Hell, Charlize Theron is more African-American than I am, but that is a whole other discussion...)

Whatever, I hope that one day, we can all just learn to be a little less racially-affiliated and a whole lot more human. That's really the only race that matters to me. Yes, call me Pollyanna & see if I care.

Peace
--Free

The D Man Is Coming Back!!!

Baby Deej will be home tomorrow. I haven't bossed my niece around since she was about 25 (lol), but she had one order when she left for the vacation: send me a pic of my sugar man every day! Mission accomplished...

Here are my two faves:

You're in love, aren't you? Yeah, he does that to all of us!

(I hope this works. I've never uploaded my own vid to Blogger before. It's D.J.s first 4 months.)

Peace

--Free

Busted! (But Happily So)

Um, remember this? Yeah, I got all gutsy and shot off my big mouth. That's easy to do over the phone or in an email. This is why you should never drink or do copious amounts of chocolate before taking on something serious.

I'm busted.

My crush has found me out (like most men, he's a little slow on the uptake). I think it's hilarious that all my dropped hints took a moment to sink in. The big jump I made apparently just confused him. How cute... It's all good, except we are now in that awkward phase of "talking." It was so different when we were just buddies. Now? Now there is that "knowing" thing.

It's cool. He's mature-minded enough (more so than I)  to have a plan in place should things not go as we'd like. His plan: always, always remain friends. I can get down with that. I'm not taking anything more serious than a happy mutual crush. We are both a little tied up emotionally - he's just coming out of a relationship & I'm in the Witness Protection Program for estranged spouses of crazy persons. Nothing going on here but a recognition of our affection. That's damned nice.

Of course I won't name him here, but he is someone I have done a lot of creative work with & my friend D (who lives out of state) introduced us (because we live - mostly - in the same state). Now you know why I adore D. The last several weeks have been tense. I thought I was being side-stepped. Now I just have to put up with D making little jokes when the three of us are on the phone.

This is nice & fun and stress-relieving. Just to have something, someone to smile about in the middle of the madness that is my life right now. He is probably reading this & I've said all I'm going to say about this special friendship for now.

I wanted to post this because I was worried about making a move. I did & it's all good. If you have been hesitating about doing the same thing, well, I hope this encourages you. Most of life is a lot about chances. Go ahead and take some.

Peace
--Free

P.S.: Another piece of joy today? The kids and Baby D.J. are coming home from their vacay tomorrow. I've been in sugar withdrawals without Little Man. See my next post for something beautiful!

British Humor & Mysteries

When I lived in England, I didn't appreciate the humor of British folk. I was too busy trying to figure out how come they couldn't cook worth a shit. Now I realize some of them can cook their asses off & it was just the family I married into who had bad kitchen skills. (Good thing about that is, David thought my tacos were a culinary masterpiece. Tacos were the only thing I knew how to fix. We ate a lot of tacos back then.)

 ~waving to Dave~ "Hey, boo!"

Anyway... there were some things I just did not get about that place and the people. One was the whole wrong side of the car & street crap. (Think I told you about an argument Dave & I had. Ended with me stomping off dramatically to the car & sitting my ass on the wrong side. David loved that so much, he called & told my parents about it.) I won't mention how many times I damn near got killed just crossing the streets. Another time, I got all huffy with a server about my toast being cold before Dave told me that's they way they serve it there. Cold toast & hot sodas. All right.

Still, I adored my in-laws & my temporary home (still adore my other "fam."). But I never got the humor. For some reason, David would be just falling out sick, laughing at stuff that didn't even begin to amuse me. Maybe I was just too young.

These days, I have nothing but love for so many British shows. Of course, I've always loved anything Agatha Christie (even though I had a teenage hate spurt when I found out the original British title of "Ten Little Indians"), especially Hercule Poirot - the books and the David Sachet television series. What is new to me - meaning in the last 8 or 9 years - are the silly shows like "Keeping Up Appearances," "Absolutely Fabulous" and "Mr. Bean."

In addition to the funny stuff, one of my all-time favorites is this brilliant series called "The Dark Beginnings of Sherlock Holmes":

Make sure you watch ALL of the videos

I suppose age and maturity opens us up to a lot of things: humor, kindness, tolerance... I'm glad about the humor thing. I need all the laughs I can get in this life of mine!

Make sure to check out some of these shows. Most of them are on either Hulu, Crackle or YouTube. If I am missing any I should check out, do let me know.

Peace
--Free

Kita on Catnip

My sweetie cat has issues. Here he is on catnip, making love to it. Just rolling all over the floor in it.
Whatta weirdo!
I love this useless bundle of fur...
[from Samsung Infuse]

Kita - The Sequel

SMH
[from Samsung Infuse]

Wow. Thank You All So Very Much.

I just got emails informing me of more donations to the Live Below the Line challenge. (I hate to say this, but I almost forgot about it! Good thing other people did not.)

Here is the Thank You list (so far):

B.W. (IN) 10.00
Mrs. M.G. & family 30.00
G.J.C. (AK) 20.00
Mr. A.L. &Mrs. N.L.L. (AZ) 20.00
C.M.M. (AK) 6.00
D.M. & D.M. (AK) 5.00
Mrs. D.R. & family (AK) 20.00 (I think I did this incorrect as 10.00 before. SO sorry, love!)
Mr. & Mrs. J.A.C. & family (AZ) 25.00
A G+ pal with a huge heart (web) 5.00
Mr. D. R. (CA) 10.00
Ms. B.H. (AK) for sharing a day eating below the line with me. What a sweetheart. I love you BFF.
Ms. D.R.J. (TX) for sharing the message & a prayer with young people in your study class. (Each one teach one!)

And that money... My good mercy! That's a whopping $151.00 you guys pulled together. What a blessing. In times like these, that's so wonderful.

BTW, It was my fault for telling family & locals about the site without the Team page I had. I hope that getting a copy of the LBL emails of thanks lets you know the impact you made. Like I said - UNICEF, Project Medishare or whoever - the important thing is that the funds went to the needy, so I don't mind.

I love you all for giving and for thinking of others. Remember the old song about "What The World Needs Now"? Well, love is great, but action is beautiful.

You guys are beautiful. Keep teaching others about helping, loving and being aware of the needy.

One of my mother's favorite verses of the Bible was: "For I was hungry, and you gave me food; I was thirsty, and you gave me drink; I was a stranger; and you took me in." (Matt 25:35)

Those are just words until it's you that is hungry, thirsty or a stranger, then they mean so much more.

Peace
--Free

How Low, Slow, High Or Crazy?

This one is for B. She doesn't have the best internet connection, so I share a scan of the trashy news from the UK Daily Mail all the time. (Don't judge us!) This morning,  more than usual, there seems to be a certain vibe. It's as if all the articles are about folks trying to see how low they can go, how slow they can be, how high they can act, or how crazy they really are. It's a hot rubber-burning mess over there. Here is the scan:

BUT - before we start the crazy, I'm going to coat your stomach with the most beautiful vid I've seen in a while:

Man. I started out wanting to cry because of the first song, then I was just standing up clapping. How cute is she? And he not the coolest Daddy on the planet? What a lucky kid.

Okay. Now to the crazies...

This one goes under the category of "Huh?" I kind of admire this broad's guts. I mean, she walked through the store completely naked. That's some pimp ass confidence. Talking about her belief in "self-expression." Shoot, I believe in it too, but I don't want to blind people for life. Tell you what, I have no idea what her body looks like, but I know she has some major balls.

Um, what is wrong with Betty Brilliant here? This just straight pisses me off. There are a lot of women in this world who would give or do anything to be a Mom - not me - but it seems fertility increases with ignorance. This crazy heffa here needs her ass kicked. I want her arrested. NOW.

Um, okay.

Somehow, I feel kinda bad for laughing at this woman. She wants to marry & have children by... Jesus. Yeah. I shouldn't laugh. This is obviously a mental condition... (Why did she just have to be from Texas?)

For some reason, I've never believed in laughing at people for stuff like this, but my friend B has no such scruples. Almost threw her back out laughing. Mean. Just mean. (I think the guy had TV nerves. Plus, he's so freaking cute. A "himbo" maybe???) I'm not always the brightest torch in the tiki, and I think this poor guy was just really self-conscious & stumbled. Still, he won some money. He's in college. He'll be something one day.

This is no laughing matter. Made me a little queasy. The sick bitch. (Notice how often this shit is starting to happen? This and the teachers chasing down students to sleep with them?) Here's what I don't get: If a woman really wants to have sex, there aren't too many men who will turn her down. Chris Rock makes a hilarious joke out of it, but it's true. If you have no morals and just want to, some guy will answer the call. So... why the blue hell do these women go the sick route??? SMDH I want my great-nephew home-schooled. Or taught by eunuchs...

To get that taste of nasty off my soul, let's do something fun.

This is sick in a whole other wonderful & useless way. I don't own a TV, but if I did, I'd want this technology. I mean - damnnnn.

Hahahaha... Whoo! No words. Just no words...

Wonder how many gals are gonna take them up on this? SMH. Wow. You'd have to be completely shameless.

You know you've always wanted to ask these questions. I mean, how do they handle that in space? (I always wanted to know about toilet issues. I guess they don't do veggie juice cleanses. Yeah. Day II of this shi- I mean regimen.)

This is a feel-good story. (I'm kinda pissed that she has a boyfriend.) This is what you call doing what the hell you want - no matter who tries to limit you. I dig her guts because I never made a cheer squad. I damn near broke my ass bone trying to do cartwheels (true story). Somebody felt for me & I was on the pep squad. (Don't feel bad for me, tho. I joined ROTC for a year and was a bad-to-the-bone marksmen.)

There are just too many weird stories today. I have to stop and let B catch her breath from laughing. I will leave you with something that suits me today:

My "friends" come in all shapes and ways...

Peace
--Free

Like Rap? Ummm... Some

I got a mail about music I post here. The writer wanted to know if I like rap. Answer: Not a lot of it, but what I like I really like. I'm into positive messages - not gang-banging, excuse-making, cop-out b.s. that talks about women or sex like disposable things. To be honest, I don't know the difference between "Rap" and "Hip Hop." I don't even care. A lot of it just sounds like white noise to me with "bitch," "hoe," "nigga," and "busta cap" thrown in every few beats. So, yeah, I like some but not a lot of it. I have to think on it for a while. For now, I can name a few.


Tupac: Keep Your Head Up
Grandmaster Flash: The Message


Also, because I don't get half of what they are saying, "but I can dance to it," this one that I am so ashamed of for liking:

50 Cent/Mary J. Blige/Beyonce: "In Da Club"

I don't club anymore, so this is for exercise now.
Warning: this has foul & racial language.

And this one:

Los Mono: Se Puede

The Mono: It Can

A friend explained the lyrics to me as being totally about a positive personal vibe. He said the lyrics basically mean You can (can whatever). I'm down with that.

Lyrics in Spanish

se puede, se puede....
si quieres, si quieres....

tengo mas que mil infinitas posibilidades
yo, puedo hacer lo que quiera,
voy a tratar a ver si sale
a veces sale a la primera
pero primero trato
tratar es papa. para papa
yo si quiero puedo mas

porque no tengo nada que perder
lo que yo quiera yo lo voy a hacer
porque de quererlo nace el poder

yo con mi cabeza 
un par de cosas puedo hacer
pegarme cabezazos 
o empezar a comprender
que con ella una idea
puedo dar a conocer
mi manera de ver
la vida ________

Cuentate a ti mismo
un chiste que no sabes
haz una cancion
sin saber composicion
juega ajedrez 
sin entender ni como es
nada te lo impide
eres tu el que decide

se puede, se puede....
si quieres, si quieres....

se puede, se puede....
si quieres, si quieres....

a veces me canso me aburro
cuando no me sale me funo
me apago no duro mucho
se me cae el mundo y no lucho

dando bo bo botes hasta que caigo parado
trato como perro, me repito el plato
imposible verlo hecho si es que no lo hago
hago lo que quiero soy dueno de mi rato.

y uno y dos y tres y cuatro
la cabeza es un musculo
minusculo en algunos
si este es tu caso
ejercita dale duro
ponle de lo gueno
eres dueno de tu sueno.

se puede, se puede....
si quieres, si quieres....

se puede, se puede....
si quieres, si quieres....

                                            And - thanks to Google Translate, in English:

can, can ....

if you want, if you want ....

I have a thousand endless possibilities

I, I can do whatever you want,

I'll try to see if it

sometimes goes to the first

but first try

deal with is dad. for potato

I do want I can more

because I have nothing to lose

what I want I'll do

because of wanting to be born

I with my head

a couple of things I can do

hit me headers

or begin to understand

an idea that she

I can raise awareness

I see it

________ life

Cuentate yourself

a joke that you do not know

make a song

without knowing composition

play chess

understanding neither as

nothing stopping you

are you the one who decides

can, can ....

if you want, if you want ....

can, can ....

if you want, if you want ....

sometimes I get tired I get bored

when I do not leave me Funo

I turn I did not last long

I drop the world and not fight

giving bo bo stopped boats until fall

treatment as a dog, I repeat the plate

impossible to see it done if I do

I do what I am owner of my time.

and one two and three and four

mind is a muscle

miniscule in some

If this is your case

exercises give hard

ponle of gueno

You own your dream.

can, can ....

if you want, if you want ....

can, can ....

if you want, if you want ....

Peace

--Free

Back, Better & Badder

I feel so much better tonight. Thanks to the web buddies who checked in to see how I was & to my BFFs who called and told really bad jokes and lies to make me laugh. That virus or whatever I was fighting knew jujitsu or something...

My sister and I just got through laughing about this liquid vegetable binge I just started. I get on these kicks of trying to be healthy and things usually turn out weird. Since I was laid up the last few days, my little brother & I watched a bunch of Hulu & You Tube. Yesterday, we watched a video about a guy with some immune system issues. Like me, he was on prednisone (and he was fat in places) and felt like he was really out of shape. Unlike me, he is one motivated dude. He went on a 60-day liquid vegetable body-cleanse/reboot kind of thing. Sixty freaking days with no chewing.

This cleanse thing is all about getting the bad stuff out of your body and introducing good stuff. (I have quite a bit of bad stuff, things like pie, pork and carbonated beverages.) My brother "D" and I were mostly looking for laughs but turns out this guy is onto something. He lost a gang of weight and his doctor lowered his meds. I will settle for just getting some of this fat off my ass.

After we watched the video, I told D that I'd like to do something to clean out my system. He reminded me that I was still bitchy from not smoking and giving up white sugar. (I feel like I am getting better about the sugar. I'm always going to miss smoking.) I reminded him that I can do anything I put my mind to. He reminded me that this guy lived 60 days on nothing but liquids. I reminded him that I just did a hunger challenge. He reminded me that, after the challenge, almost no one in our house was speaking to me yet.

Yeah. Whatever.

Since today was my day for grocery shopping, I went and got almost all fruit & vegetables. (I say "almost" because there was the incident with the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Ice Cream Cookie Sandwich. Did you know about these things? The taste-ta-licious bomb, I swear.) Anyway, I now have a fridge full of collard greens, broccoli, red cabbage, spinach, cucumber, red grapes, apples & carrots. I'm feeling a little bit like a cousin to Bugs Bunny right now.

For lunch today, I had a Magic Bullet blend of vegetables & apples. (Everybody else had salmon and rice with some butter rolls. Bastards.) My nephew J did try my healthy drink. He said it looks like sewage & tastes like grass. He's right, but the taste is not a bad thing. Kind of tastes the way fresh mown grass smells.

Now, I don't plan on the drink being my only nutrition, of course. I mean, I need my Vitamin Meat and Essential Oil of Oil. I'm good, not crazy. The thing is, I haven't been getting enough good, raw, healthy stuff into my body. And about 25 minutes after getting this good. raw and healthy stuff into me today, I know why.

If you think I had to stay near a toilet because of all the peeing I do, you should have seen me scare the hell out of my cat and the dog getting to the toilet after that drink.

Apparently, a good dose of greens and fruits will rock your world like Metamucil never could. Not to get too graphic, but I feel like that lady in the old horror movie when she said, "This house is clean." Seriously.

How the hell did I forget what veggies will do to you? I grew up with a mother who lived by the cleansing value of greens. Mama felt like everything could be cured with a little quality time on the toilet. No matter what was wrong with any of us, her first line of mothering was, "When's the last time you had a 'movement?'" (That was her ladylike way of putting what happened to me today.) No matter what was wrong with us: toothache, headache, broken heart - the first thing Mom wanted to know was about your last "movement." Mama cured all my teen angst with some greens or Castor oil. Okay, she didn't cure it, but I was scared to let it show.

(Damn, I miss that woman!)

Well, my smart-ass sister has been having fun all day now. Every time I move, she makes a joke about clearing the way to the bathroom. My little brother was nicer until about an hour ago when he left for the airport. He just had to make a crack about not wanting to squeeze me too hard while we hugged goodbye. (I know he was just keeping me from bawling. I'm a Goodbye Bawler. I don't even have to know you & I bawl at goodbyes.)

Anyway... As usual, I forgot where the hell I was going with this, but I am going to suggest that you watch the documentary about this guy. I'm going to try to do at least one or two veggie drinks a day for a while. Here is a link to his website. I watched the vid for free on Hulu here and  here is an excerpt from YouTube:

(BTW - some of the stupid shit you will hear folks say: "If I do have vegetables or fruit, it's in moderation," and "I eat no fruits and I eat no vegetables." Some guy really said that. Maybe the lack of nutrients is why he sounds so ignorantly proud of that fact. He'd have gotten no love from my mom...)

Peace
--Free

Something To Think About Before Death

I am a Christian. (Yeah, believe it or not.) You have to understand that I am a Christian - saved by Jesus - not because I talk a certain way or do certain things. I am saved because I believe on the blood of Christ. There are things I do not do because I am a Christian and I feel that those things are wrong. (Other Christians won't do think I will do because of their own relationship with Jesus & their own personal convictions.)

Now, I said all that to say this: I don't often use this blog to talk about Christ. I do that in my personal life and face to face as I am moved. But - I do want to point you guys to a series of videos I am watching. I have not finished & have no final opinion, but would love to know what any of you think about it. I was made aware of the vids by a G+ pal.

It must be a Google Plus thing that people will so openly discuss and debate almost anything with such an attitude of civility. A couple weeks ago, another G+ buddy sent me a Kindle edition of a book called "Imaginary Jesus." He has asked me to read it & let him know what I think. (He disclosed to me that it's the book that almost made a Christian of him. He knows I'm praying to get rid of the "almost.")

Anyway, this is just something I wanted to share with you. I believe that everyone has the right to believe what they want to believe and to live and die with the decision. I always hope, though, that everyone will believe what I do (how human of me!). When I think of those who came to Christ kicking & fighting, I think of myself, C.S. Lewis, and a friend of mine who accepted Christ just before dying.

So, this is not to beat anyone over the head. It's just something I wanted to share. Be sure to hit me up on email or G+ to let me know what you think. (I have Part II on Pause as I type this!)

Ian McCormack Testimony

Peace
--Free

Happy Mother's Day

To all the Mommies out there - there is no material thing that can repay you all for the love you give & the things you do. I truly hope you have a wonderful day.

This is for my Mama.

Peace
--Free

How to Handle It

I still feel like some kind of virus came in here and beat me up like a gangsta, but I had to do this post.

Someone just texted me and said, "Girrrrlll... Did you see Tamron Hall sit some dude the eff down?"

I'm on Nyquil and sweat-rest, so I was like, "Who, huh, wha-?"

My girl sent me the link and I'll be damned if I don't want to take lessons from Ms. Hall on how to shut a mutha down...

Well, damnnn.... LOL! (You know Ms. Hall is from Texas. Nuff said.)

"You're kinda in my house now."

Why did this from another bad-to-the-bone chick pop into my head?

OK. In the words of Lady Hall: "I'm done."

Peace

--Free

Badgal Down for Maintenance

Checking in to apologize. I had promised a few people a post about the Live Below the Line challenge (now that it is over). I can't. guys. I have a cold that is kicking my ass & aches and pains like you wouldn't believe.

Y'all know that I am the world's biggest baby when it comes to being sick, so...

Hoping to feel better by end of weekend. (And, damnit if I don't have some errands to run!)

Til then...

Peace
--Free

Life On Hold

Seems like I spend too much time on the phone. Not chatting or enjoying myself, but Holding. Can't remember the last time I made a call to take care of business and actually had someone answer right off. Sitting on Hold wouldn't be too bad I guess if the music was better. I always get to listen to something that sounds like bad karoake or the soundtrack to a porn movie. It's like torture.

Guess what I'm doing right this moment. Sitting on Hold. Since 8:29. It is 9:01. For real. The music for this Hold sounds like me learning to play the pan flute. (I don't even know what a pan flute is. What is wrong with me this morning?!)

This is not a good day for being irritated. I'm hungry, have a fresh cold, mystery pains and have been having cell phone problems. (What is up with that? Why is my Infusion starting to act all Courtney Love on me? I'm missing calls, having messages erased... One of the BFF's called my sister in a panic because she hasn't been able to reach me for a couple of days. Damn phone.) Anyway...

One of the most annoying things about being on Hold is the boredom. I try finding something to do while I wait. I mean, I try to get other stuff done, but it's tricky. One time I was trying to sort through a bunch of bills. I had a few piles going on: "Call and Beg for Mercy," "Pay Now Before They Sue Me," and "No Freaking Way." Problem is, between listening to the awful music, waiting for someone to pick up and trying to keep the piles straight, I was going a little haywire. Sometimes when I try multi-tasking, my brain acts like a computer with water damage. That day, when a live person finally picked up my call, I didn't realize it right away. I was busy chanting, "Beg, pay, no freaking way" over and over. When I realized I had a real person on the phone, I got stellar customer service. Pretty sure the lady was so nice because she thought she was dealing with a mental defect that knew where she worked.

The most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me on the phone was a few weeks ago. I'd been on Hold so long that, eventually, I had to go the bathroom. (I'm fifty, on blood pressure meds and suck liquids like a vacuum. When I have pee, I have to pee. Right. Now.)

me on the left LOL

So, I slip into the bathroom, phone on Speaker, and try to pee quiet as I can. That went well. Of course, the second I flushed, there's some guy on Speaker going, "This is Doug, how may I help you?" He paused between "Doug" and "help you." That's because our toilets sounds like a fighter jets taking off.

Yeah. Well. Cringe-worthy moment, but I don't think I will ever be meeting Doug in person.

Right now, I am back and forth between writing this post and cruising the usual news sites. I just had a major giggle over one gossip bit about a popular actress. Apparently she made a red-carpet appearance looking a hot funky mess from head to toe. Especially toe since it was reported that her feet looked so bad, it looked like her toes were throwing up gang signs. That cracked me the hell up! Mainly because the actress is thin, pretty and rich and I'm not.

Yeah, I always find ways to amuse myself. In a minute, I'm going to start making Top Ten Lists of things like: "Super Powers I Wish I Had," and "People I'd Beat Up If I Had Super Powers."

For now, I will just try to behave myself. Going to keep cruising the Net while I sit here on Hold.

Peace
--Free

I Stumbled!

Okay - first, the really good news! I did get the cash donations done today. They are going through PayPal and will be posted as the transactions clear (everyone who donated cash has been given screen prints & confirmations). Thank you all so very much.

Um, and the, uh, well...

OKAY, damnit! I broke the $1.50 limit tonight. Dropped it broke it, stomped crap out of it.

~hiding face in shame~

I'm such a loser, but I was having a headache that would not go away. (Went away just fine after I had some broccoli, baked chicken and a yogurt smoothie for dessert...)

Yeah, well... Wipe that bacon fat off your mouth and shoot me. I donated some money myself. I will be back on the wagon tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I just had the coolest find on the site of a G+ buddy. A singer I'd never heard of before no

Well. Damn. That gal can blow!

Just thought I'd share that in the hope it would take your mind off my epic fail with the challenge - LOL.

I will be better tomorrow & stick with things (I hope). It might be tough. I am missing my boo-baby D.J. and he and his parents have only been gone for an hour. Who's going to bring me my morning smile while he's gone?...

Hi lil boo-boo!

Peace
--Free

Can't believe I made it to day 4. Had to miss the grad party last night (I couldn't stand the idea of all that food & my niece totally supports me in it), and I have the freaking MOTHA of all headaches and because I procrastinate, I have to get off my lazy ass & go transfer those donations. What a gigantic pain in my ass that it... (Not the donations, just the getting off my ass part!)

At least today looks like it might be a sunny one. That will help keep my mind off eating (maybe) & I can sit outside and think about what this whole hunger challenge means. And I do think about it more with every passing minute. Last night I felt so incredibly sad that I worked myself up to a good old=fashioned cry. Think about this:

1.4 billion people - BILLION - living in poverty.

I can't even fathom that. I don't want to think about how many of those people are babies. My God, my God, my God.

A friend and I were comparing pics of  his niece & my nephew. They are both around 4 months old & my friend & I compete to see who can take more photos and be the biggest braggart. We are about neck and neck & people literally hate to see us coming when we have our cameras out.  (I have to stop & say this: His niece is SO stinking adorable!) Anyway... I told him how this challenge makes me grateful every time I think about Baby DJ & the other half a million kids in my fam. I remember times when our two girls & my sister's twins were young. There were a few times that we all ate a LOT of beans and rice and hoecakes - but there was never, ever, ever a time when our kids were the slightest bit hungry (matter of fact, couple of them could stand to lose a few pounds). I was always thankful for that, but I never realized what a deep blessing it was. Back then, I wasn't even aware of what a blessing it was that I could complain about extra jobs and overtime or tired feet or psychotic bosses. I am very aware now of how God was truly watching over us. I am aware now of why my mother would sometimes just close her eyes and smile while she thanked God. I'm aware now of why, one time (when I couldn't work out on paper how we managed with the income we had against what money went out of the house) Mom nearly slapped the paper & pen out of my hand. "Why are you going to question what God is doing for you?" Let me tell you, Miss Edie was mad... but

I realize now.

I hope that you are thankful if your babies are eating & sleeping in a warm place & running around, healthy & trying to drive you out of your freaking mind with their noise & toys. I hope you are thankful if you are waking up to bitch about a job you have to go to & a boss you have to put up with & that crazy bitch that sits in the cubicle next to you. I hope you just remember to be thankful.

I'm broke as Humpty Dumpty's clumsy ass, but I am still so much better off than any of the hungry babies and struggling, worried moms and dads out there.

Guess I just needed to rant. I'll be back later after I run errands and have something a little less somber to post about.

(And a big THANK YOU to the latest donor, Mrs. M.G. & fam. (I love you, boo!)

Peace
--Free

Day Three & Feeling It

This is Day Three of the #livebelowtheline challenge. My biggest challenge right now is that I've been up since 1am. It's hard not to think about food when you sit up and worry about the petty little realities of life. But I have managed to behave. Looking at the PC clock, I see that I have made it to 4:30am without cheating.

To catch you up on what's been happening: I have gotten a bunch of donations. I am going to get to the bank today or tomorrow to get them deposited so that I can credit them to the site. The funny thing about this is, I have not minded the challenge, but I never want to deal with people and money again. I cannot believe (still) how paranoid people are about using their cards online. SMH. Whatev.

Anyway - I did NOT stick to my menu plan. I have not had a chance to get to the store. I can't drive some days & we have a whole bunch going on at the house - with people in for the graduation and other people getting ready to leave out for Stateside Granny visits. We are a mess laundry, suitcases and baby bottles. It's like a madhouse right now.

What I have done for food is kept it simple. Boiled eggs have been my friend. No one else was thrilled because boiled eggs tend to smell like - boiled eggs. My sister hates the smell & will usually only eat boiled eggs at Easter! LOL. So... I have eaten cereal and soymilk, tuna and a salmon croquette (yesterday). Not crazy about croquettes, but I realized it was only about .10 cents. We caught the fish & it's cooked with very few ingredients. (Of course, this made me realize that not every hungry child has access to fish or the means to cook it in certain ways... ~sigh~)

I have had enough tea to float a boat. Not done so much water... Another thing I lucked out with is that I had some nice wheat rolls that I got on sale at Walmart last week. There were 7 in the $1.00 bag. Score. (Wonder if that is how excited a hungry person is when a good bargain comes along? Bet I will think twice when I see day-old or discount breads at the store.)

By the way - I don't know if it helps anywhere but in my town to mention this, but there is a local bakery here that sends out email alerts about specials. When I get the next email from them, I will do a mention here. Can't think of it for the life of me right now, but you can sign up to receive an email when they are giving away free loaves of bread or having other specials. I have used my coupon for the free bread.

Another random thought that crossed my mind today was that, at the $1.50 cap in this challenge, it's hard not to be tempted to make the wrong food choices. For instance, I prefer Burger King burgers over McD's (though Ronald's fries are the best!), but here in Alaska, you can eat off the $1.00 menu - which is, really, the $1.50 menu. If you have a $1.50 and the choice to go and try to buy single eggs or just grab a burger - it's easier to get the burger. Especially if you have no way to cook the freaking egg, right?

I know that I am all over the place in this post, but this whole "babies not eating" has me bugging. Plus, I'm sure those damn eggs aren't the best brain fuel. (Yeah, yeah - I've heard how great eggs are supposed to be, but I think that only works if you get some toast and bacon with them).

One last thing: When I was reading about the mayor in Nevada doing the food stamp menu for a week, I remember her saying that her mind didn't work as well on such a diet. Well, all joking aside - my mind only fires on half its cylinders as is. I do notice that I feel just a bit more tired and a lot more befuddled since eating less. I don't think it's the "less" part so much as it is the "what" part. I need to eat healthier (or at least as healthy as able) while doing the challenge. Think I am going to find some cheap sardines or kippers in oil for tomorrow. Wonder if that will help?

Oh well, I ramble again. I will cut this short and try to post when I have my thoughts better organized. Til then,

Peace
--Free

News Dive!!!

Trying not to think about food right now. It's gonna be another day of "blah," so...

I decided to share a guilty pleasure with you. The folks over on the G (and the ones in the house with me) are always teasing me about my fascination with trashy culture. How best to keep up with the trashy gossip? Trashy news! One of my favorite sites is The Daily Mail (UK). Now, before you start ripping on me, understand two things: 1) whether we like it or not, this stuff is news, and 2) you might get hooked yourself. Shall we take a look at some of what got my inner bitch in an itch this morning?...

Dustin Hoffman saved someone's life. How cool is that? What a decent, decent guy, right? But I just know that if he'd saved me with my smart ass, first thing I'd've done is yell, "Tootsie!!??" LOL (And, everyone take a moment to notice something unusual: Hoff's got a wife that looks like she was born in the same century as him. In Hollywood? Shut the freaking bathroom door!)

I got so excited by reading this headline that I don't have all the info. Tell you what though, if they allow these things on freeways... I might end up moving some place with a mix-master or two. Might get to expand my horizons.

Lately, I've been hearing about to two women who are annoying the piss out of me: This chick here not only needs her ass whipped with a switch from someone's back yard, but... she's 40-who? Bullshit she's 44. Nuh uh, no ma'am. It took longer than 44 years to develop that tan and for her brain to regress to the size of a nutmeg speck. I almost can't grasp what she did with the little girl. I'm still too busy trying to figure out what she thinks is cute about looking like a cheeto. (And she's tickled about being made fun of on TV? Wow. No shame.)

Then, there is this old ass lady here... People are encouraging her to act the fool and she thinks this mess is cute. Hey Grandma Time? Not cute. No, not even kinda cute. Go sit your old ass down, ma. (This kinda thing here reminds me of when parents teach their toddlers something "cute" and then show them off. Don't you hate that? When they drag the kids out and go, "Show Miss Trudy how you can dance like Diddy while you say 'Bitch betta have my money.'" Not cute. Matter of fact, I think that's right in there with mental abuse or something. Dumbasses. Teach the baby how to count or say his prayers.) Old people, young people - same damn thing. All I have to say about this is, "Y'all, come get your damn grandma!"

Ruh roh, guys. There's a new phobia for me, you guys. It's already gone on my list, page two... Don't laugh until you read this. I am not. the. only. one.

On this one, I just read the first 3 words and stopped. I don't want to risk reading anything in the article that might negate or any soften that implication. Please, please, please, all that is geek and internet, let it be true.

This is super-cool. Just love it when people think up stuff like this. Brilliant. (Not that I would own one. I mean, it's a great idea and I love the "drawers," but you fuck around and get it wet... LOL)

(My sister is sister is sitting here with me & she just told me to clean up my filthy mouth. I'm really going to work on that. Next week, after the Live Below the Line challenge is over. Really, I am.)

Is Kim Kardashian embarrassed yet? Doubt it. She covered her Shame Bone with a Hermes scarf and went back to shopping for a Birkin bag. Bitch. (I know - language, language... NEXT WEEK!) I just about fell out laughing at these old ladies. Kim is either their new hero or they are thinking she is a solo freak show. SMH. No words. I have no words.

Why did I think that the 60's were a kinder, gentler time? Not only did stuff go one, but juicy stuff. Book-worthy stuff. Wow... I mean. I know things went on, but daaaang! Was there nothing but sin in high places? Kennedy got more ass than Charmin. Bad, bad boy...


And just to leave you with some nice images I found via the G...

Nice Reminder

Don't look at me, I dunno!

Go over to Project Noah. I am. They use the term "Citizen Scientist." Cool, no?

And, last - my new motto: 

Peace
--Free

So Far, So Good

Today has not been bad. The whole eating thing is tough, don't get it twisted - BUT I am only having a hard time in choosing what to eat. So far, I have had 3 boiled eggs, tea and water. Somewhere, there are people whose only reality is to not what they are going to eat, but if they are going to eat. So, yeah, tough titty for me!

 The biggest headache for me has been getting people past the idea of using credit online. I mean, am I the only one who has been paying bills and shopping for online bargains? Am I the only one who is a lot more paranoid about giving some stranger my card in a restaurant to disappear into a back room for a minute? Really? Seriously?

Wow.

Yeah, so I am having to collect money, get into my account and then go online... And, of course, things are tight for folks. In asking for donations, I have learned just how many people are struggling to make ends meet. This is going to be a lot more of a challenge that what I thought. I was thinking the eating on $1.50 or less was the real challenge. Guess again.

I have had a lovely donation that someone made to their friend in MY name. How cool is that? I had mentioned feeling bad that I couldn't support anyone else so a pal decided to do two of us a nice thing. People are awesome!

Over on the G, we are all learning a lot from each other - about stretching a buck, making what food we do get to eat a little more interesting, and just about this whole issue of hunger. This will make you think. I have done a ton of lip service on "doing right thing" where my lips were the only part of me feeling it. THIS is the real deal.

Again, thanks everyone for the encouragement and money and just taking the time to consider people so much less fortunate than ourselves. It matters.

❥ ❤ ❥

This is a worldwide challenge.

Here is some info from Australia

Peace

--Free

Shout out to donors:

cash (to be credited) 10.00 B.W.

cash (credited generic) 6.00 C.M.M.

cash (credited generic) 5.00 D.M. & D.M.

credit (generic) 20.00 G.J.C.

credit (credited) 20.00 Mrs. N.L.L.& Mr A. L.

credit (credited) Ms. D. R. & family

cash (to be credited) 25.00 Mr. J.A.C. & Mrs. P.A.C. & family

All my heart thanks you. I love you all so much!

The L.B.T.L. blog I posted is here https://www.livebelowtheline.com/blogs/3180

Online Donations

Okay, I have heard from at least 3 folks about how they don't want to do their donation transactions online.

I'm not criticising, but you give your card to a waiter or to a gas station attendant - same thing. The site is a secure one.

I really want these donations, so I am contacting the site for help with this now. In the meantime, I don't personally know all of you! LOL For friends, I am taking cash, transferring to a card to donate. Otherwise, you guys give me a minute to figure this out...

Be patient. I SO appreciate you all!!!


❤

Peace
--Free