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My hopes of ever finding decent companionship are two-faced. I long to be with someone (until I remember some of the ones I've been with). I think that we all sort of defeat ourselves when it comes to meeting people. We're so spoiled by the possibilities that we don't settle for realities.
Here are a few reasons why I have missed out on some potentially wonderful relationships:
- People I meet don't come air-brushed to perfection. Some of them are not "tall enough"; they have bodies not like those seen on posters at the gym; their teeth don't sparkle like flourescent beams of light; and they don't all have a full head of beautiful hair.
- For some reason, I sometimes expect way more of potential partners than I expect of myself. It's not like I'm rolling in dough (or even rolling the hottest car) while I'm trying to estimate his net worth. It's a mystery to me why I want to find someone of genius intellect when I can hold a decent conversation with a well-read college freshman at best. (Hell, I was too lazy to worry about how I structured that last sentence!)
- If the guy is too handsome, I assume he's arrogant (or maybe a serial killer).
- If the guy is too nice, I wonder about his motives.
- I am an idiot (sometimes).
I could go on, but I was beginning to bore myself. Basically, I think that a lot of us don't realize that all the time we've wasted looking for Mr. (or Ms.) Perfect, is time we haven't spent with Mr. (or Ms.) Right.
Our Honda want to meet a Mercedes; our Old Navy wants to meet Ralph Lauren.
When I'm out and about, sort of "scoping" for eye contact, I find myself looking for more than I have to offer. It's when I'm eating my dinner alone - or lying in a bed with that empty spot next to me - that I get very "real" in my desires. That's when I just want someone decent and good.
Peace
--Free
