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Sunday, May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day (for the non-moms)

I wish a happy Mother's Day to all the women out there who didn't give birth to kids, but sacrificed for them anyway.

Many thanks and blessings to every woman who didn't have her own children and still forfeited time and money and personal freedoms for the benefit of kids.

This society celebrates men and women for being a "mother" or "father" - and for doing what any good parent is supposed to do. There is no day, however, for the people who do what they do because it is the right thing to do.

The forgotten people are the ones who don't get titles such as "foster", "step", "god" and "grand". the forgotten people are the one who never asked for a title. These are the people who were there for a child when they didn't have to be, yet chose to be. They sacrificed out of love. And that is never really a sacrifice.

So, I want to give all of those people a special shout out. I know that they will appreciate it. I know this because I am one of them. I've endured all the remarks about not knowing what it's like to "be a mom" (or dad); I know what it feels like to sit by while the flowers and cards and candy is handed out. Kids only know what their parents teach them, so don't be offended if they never thank you.

Years ago, my sister and I were involved in foster care. A lot of the kids we fostered had parents who were constantly failing in efforts to become better parents. They didn't always show up for planned visits with the kids; some of them had hurt their children - physically or emotionally; and they sometimes expected the kids to be more in control than they themselves were. But, no matter how badly the parents had messed up, those kids were always, always, so happy to see Mom or Dad. That's the way it should be. No one wants to not love their parents.

In some cases, my sister and I learned, the kids ended up back with their "bio-parents" and we always hoped that things would work out well. In a strange way, we hoped that the kids would forget us - you know, because life with their own family would be so good. And that's the way it should be.

Still, I know what it feels like to want to be acknowledged with a little bit of return love.

So, bless all you non-parent parents! Your only reward might be in Heaven, but that's just fine.

I heart you


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