Sunday, March 30, 2014

Speak the Truth

While browsing Tumblr a minute ago, I came across this very cool pic

even if it's shaking with laughter **

Normally, I'd get all serious and go on a rant about how true this truth is. But because the sun is shining today (and because I feel good for the first time in a long time while wearing a tank and stretch pants), I thought I'd get a little silly.

What are some of the things you do that you would never speak the truth about? I bet just thinking about it made you cringe a little, didn't it? I know the feeling.

In the spirit of being brave (or silly), I'll share:

  • Men are accused of always checking out a woman's boobs. I sometimes go into crotch-frenzy. There are days when I can't look at a photo of a nice-looking guy without my eyes going straight to his package. Speak the truth.
  • Sometimes when I see a story about someone jumping in a freezing river or otherwise risking their life to save a dog (or cat), I can't help but think about all the humans no one is trying to save.
  • In spite of my previous rant about judging someone's romantic choices, I will sometimes see a couple and think, "He must have a lot of money" (or be great in the sack, or drive a hot car), and "She must have one hell of a personality" (or sack skills, or knows how to "work a root"). 
  • I'll see a smoking hot woman and instantly want to find reasons to hate her. I've even sometimes wished that, if she tans, she ends up looking like a purse in ten years. If she has great hair, I might follow her to try to spot weave tracks or roots that need a touch-up. (I actually did cringe while typing that one!)
  • I sometimes fantasize about winning a lottery just so that I can visit all the people who ever hurt my feelings. I'd drive to their house in a really hot-looking car (maybe even with a chauffeur), invite them to lunch and let their burning jealousy be my dessert. (I'm too old and mature to think such childish things. But I just did.)
  • There have been times when I hated so much to be wrong about something that I made up b.s. "facts" to prove my point. (To be fair, I only did this with the people I knew were too lazy to do a little research.)
  • I have judged people by their appearances. Years back, whenever a friend and I went to nightclubs, we'd assign a "slut meter" number to other women. We gave higher numbers to certain women based on nothing other than our own envy. Whenever a woman got hit on more than we did, my friend and I would give her an automatic 10.
  • That slut meter game is not the most shameful one my friend and I played in judging people.
  • I can be extremely petty sometimes. As bad as my memory is, for some reason I have no problem retaining thoughts about what and how someone says anything that irks me. I file that away and work out exactly what (and when) to say something to get them back.
  • Shade. I can throw serious shade.
Okay. Sharing all that is no longer fun. I actually think I might need to go into deep prayer or see a therapist now. Right now.


P.S.: I sure hope that shemavericksniper doesn't hate me for sharing the pic in such an irreverent post. I did love the pic and the thought in the way I'm sure it was intended.