4,846 Hours

 I was thinking about my goddaughter/niece and a song ran through my mind. Counting the time that she has been gone from us I find that it's 4,846 hours. 202 days or 29 weeks. 

It's easier to look up the time she's been gone. It's hard to imagine the conversations we haven't had. I just miss that girl so much. 

The other day, I realized that I've been sort of avoiding the plant she gave me for Mother's Day. I think that was five years ago. That thing grows like crazy with the least amount of care. I have it set up with an auto-watering system and that's good or else it might have died too.

Looking at the Monstera plant makes me think of my niece and that is sometimes painful. I did not really realize that I'd been neglecting it - even when I was doing the apartment re-do. Last week, I did notice that her (yes, "her") leaves were dull and some were dead. I think that it's a sign of my grief healing that I was able to show her some love.

I pruned away the dead leaves and still, she looked neglected. So I got some fresh soil and a larger pot and transferred her to her new home.

Still healing but she's
getting there...

I had to bind some of the stems!

Gabby (my niece) would love the color of the pot. I think she had a wig that color once! And I know she loved wearing eyeliner in teal hues. 

Me with my lovely niece
circa 2016. Alaska.

I felt a little bit sad when I finished repotting the plant but I also felt a little bit better than I have for a while. I look at the plant now and just think that I'm so glad I have it. It's a living part of God's nature. It's bold and beautiful. 

Gabby would laugh at me if she knew that I walked around here talking to her about the plant. I'd love to hear her laugh at me one more time. I miss her and I just wanted to say that.

Peace

--Free