I'm raggedy looking, tore down tired, bed-head fugly & I don't even care.
I got my lil brother, 2 nephews, 2 nieces and ME.
The rest of some of us will be here later.
This is the Nilla Wafer Pudding Pie me and lil bro made:
We are the BOMB Diggity!
We were whisking and stirring & trying to keep from spilling custard all over the stove! It was a hoot. We done good. (That one meal a day deal for 7 days is gonna do this body good!)
I really am going to post a pic of us later - but not while I look like the Walmart Greeter in Dante's Inferno. No, no, no... LOL I have to go to the Green Room and do some serious make-up artistry.
In the meantime, this is what it looked like when I just peeked into the kitchen:
Oh I love these crazy people!!!
D.J. will even get a little taste of the custard. Shoot, we might have to do a lil taste test...
And even if they do, I don't care. I don't want anyone to be hungry.
**You know how cranky my Prednisone-fueled behind gets when I miss a meal**
I can't do a damn thing about the problem with money I don't have.
I can do a damn thing about it with some prayer & getting involved.
**and guilt-tripping every fat, Whopper-munching, Olive Garden grazing person I know**
You can do something too.
And if you don't do something, then, dangit, you oughta be ashamed the next time you sit down to a big old, nasty-can-on-the-back-of-your-stove fried-meat-grease-cooked meal.
If you eat Chittlins - I hope you smell like them for days...
If you eat a pork chop, I hope you fart diesel fumes for a whole week...
If you burp out a scent of French Fry, I hope you taste Castor Oil instead...
Unless ...
You have a heart & do something, anything - just for one day...
to stop this kind of mess...
There is no place in the world for that kind of mess when we can spend money on fake hair, fake nails, fake boobs & butts, fake eye color... For a fraction of what we spend on that false b.s., we can feed a real human being.
If you can't do one little something for one damn day, don't ever talk to me about someone beating a kid, hitting their wife or doing some dirty business on the job. Don't even tell me about how you care. I will call you on it. Just miss me with all your talk until you at least act like you want to walk.
Seriously.
I don't care if you don't like somebody because they are white, black, indian, asian, fat, skinny, rich, gay, Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Republican, Democrat, Male, Female, American, Middle Eastern....... This is not about us liking each other. This is not about how we are different. This is all about how we are PEOPLE. Above the animals. Intelligent enough to make stuff happen.
We are all human. These babies are all our babies. They are somebody's babies.
I'm a cold-blooded, not-very-good-Christian, selfish, mad freaking black woman without a damn diary. Even I can't do anything but want to cry when I think about these babies & their defeated, struggling mothers and fathers.
You can't be that bad.
**If you are, I really don't want to know you. I'm trying to hang with a better class of people**
Right?
Plus:
I am going to be giving up some freaking FOOD for a week!!! You better help me out before I get mad. You won't like me when I get mad.
I finally got my tired behind up off the bed, you guys. Feel somewhat better, so I'm thinking I may have just been over-tired.
And... This is what I spent the last hour watching on Hulu. (I promise I hardly ever do this kind of post, but it's the lazy gal's way today. Plus, I wasn't so depressed after this. Just about broke a rib laughing at this mess.) **By the way: Thanks Hulu.com You guys are the only reason I even look at TV when I do!**
Starting with the one cast member I really don't like... This dip is apparently a Christian in the Church of How Pretty Do I Look To My Husband. All she ever seems to talk about is her ass, boobs, slutty clothes or how "blessed" she is (and those blessings never include health or family, just looks and botox treatments). Dizzy broad. Here is her reaction to her "sinus" surgery that included a nose-fixing job:
("It's so pre-wee! It's so Pre-wee!" Don't you just want to slap piss out of her silly ass?)
Dumbass.
Please tell why it is that whenever Bravo adds a new member to the Housewives, it's never one that is just completely different from the others? All they ever do is add someone in a different shade of annoying - maybe with a different hairdo or something. This new chick here - boy is she a trip. Her husband is a plastic surgeon & she is an "actress on baby-raising hiatus" (or some such crap). Basically, she is a wanna-be-old-money heffa with too much time on her hands. I've seen her raising babies exactly 3.0008 seconds (there's an army of invisible nannies somewhere because the kids disappear with them). The rest of her time is spent thinking of really classy ways to spend hubby's money. Last week she and some friends "choppered" over to L.A. to get advice about a restaurant they want to open. (I'm hating, but I gotta admit that whole helicopter thing was kind of pimp. Not for me tho - no-no, I have those phobias...)
Anyway, this clip here is of her doing something that made me like her for about 4 minutes (when she entered a Mud Run for charity) before she went and annoyed me again:
Uh, scuse me, Ms. Vanderbilt, but you just crawled out of the mud with these folks. What's the deal with sharing a spray-down? Think you're going to catch that one germ you missed earlier?
Dumbass. (I would nickname her something like "Slitch" or "Snotch" - for silly-snotty-bitch, but I usually reserve "bitch" for folks I really like.)
I used to hate Vicky, but she's an original cast member. She's grown on me. I feel protective of her. She's like that crazy cousin you see only at reunions - the one who just tap dances all over your last good nerve... I can talk about her, but I don't like anyone else messing with her.
Well, guess what? She has this new creepo boyfriend. There is something just not. quite. right. about this dude. Every time I look at him, I have a flashback vision of that crazy Jim Jones guy (you know, the Kool Aid psycho?) When I hear him speak, I think of some guy trying to lure susceptible people into buying a spaceship ticket to somebody's gates. Bad news: Vicky is in a bad place in her life & she's ripe for something to drink... I just wish she'd get back with Donn.
"You're not alone anymore."
Bitch, you better pray for some loneliness. Better lonely than dead. This dude sounds as sincere as a teenage boy with his first piece of ass. He is starting to scare me...
Alert! Alert! Get something for your eyes before you watch this one. I laughed so hard, I had salty tears trying to carve some new wrinkles on my face. I'm pretty sure I even accidentally burned a calorie or two.
Oh. My. Damn. Has this guy ever gotten laid with this bullshit game he's throwing?
That mess was so lame ass that Vicky almost missed it. She was still chewing food. Now, c'mon ladies, when a man you really like says anything hot, you just kind of fall all down in your heart, right? And if you really like him, he can say "Ah-choo" in a certain way & you're hearing every sweet or dirty word you know.
So what the robotic monotone hell was that about? He looked like a world leader trying to look calm while breaking really bad news about a bomb or something...
"I wanna flip the table over..."
I do too - on my way getting the hell away from your crazy ass!
Um-kay... Now I really am afraid.
There is a way to say "Give it to me" and make someone's knees buckle or make them throw up or make them give you this look...
...or make them want to dance:
When Rick James (Jacko wasn't the only misunderstood whacko) got demanding at least he put a beat in so you could move to it. LOL
Ladies: Joking aside for just a moment. I came out of an abusive relationship & that look in that man's eyes sent me back to a bad place for a minute. Crazy. Seriously. (If I didn't believe that a lot of the reality shit has nothing whatsoever to do with reality, I think I'd be writing to Vicky telling her to run like Wilma Rudolph.)**
Did you see his eyes? And there was not a damn thing sexy or sweet about that "Give it to me" crap. Later on, he acts all annoyed & mumbles something about "No PDA? Eff that..." Hmmm... I'm trying to assume that they are engaging in some kind of really awkward verbal foreplay - her talking about "Daddy" & him trying to play the tough. If so, it's really bad acting & wouldn't turn me on with three switches and a cognac, but that's just me.
Moving right along...
Tamra's finally signing her divorce papers. I really did feel for her. No matter how shitty a relationship ends up being, they all had something good enough to make you want it in the first place. That's the part any person with a heart would be hurting over. So, yeah, I get it.
However (you knew this was coming, right?), Tam lost my sympathy for a moment when she did all that soulful reflecting back on "the good times." For one thing, I noticed that all those times had something to do with price tags. I mean, c'mon girl - you guys did have some really nice times. I know. I've been there from the start of the show (yes, I am ashamed to say that). ~sigh~ Just bad editing, I know, but it pissed me off because that's what TV always does. Shame on those editors. Dag-nabbit, the dirty rabbits!
I still feel for you, Tam.
Anyway, you guys, that's how, um, productive my day was. I am now going to go and learn to make this Nilla Wafer Pudding Pie. I can't tell you how many times my sis has tried to get me through this. I really want to do it tho, cos my Baby Bro comes in tonight & I am SO freaking happy & excited. It feels like Christmas in my heart! I'm going to go and do something to this head of mine & get presentable so I will feel like this
But it don't matter what I do, cos when I see baby bro, I'm gonna be like this
Meantime, hope you guys are all cool & well. Remember: Life's good most of the time & when it's not, just wait.
Guys - cannot post. Mind is scrambled like crazy this morning. Going to break from the Net & listen so some music. Might just need to slow the brain down. Will be back later if the grey cells work better.
In the meantime, just a little something I stole from a new Net buddy to make you smile. (And make sure to check out his site. Brother is a writing machine!
The day ended up being not so funky. Only strange thing that happened was that I finished a post this morning & forgot to Publish. It was still up on the screen when I got home from an appointment. Don't think that was Sarc. tho - just Rushing.
One of the fam was looking at the post from stateside & called me up to comment. They like what I did with the pics. Said I didn't bore them to tears trying to keep from mixing Project stuff with the blog. This is good to know. Of course, now you guys are going to be seeing a whole lot more posts like that one!
BUT - this post has a point & I better get to it before I start wandering all around BoreYaTa Deathland. Actually, there are two things I have to get done here:
One - after the app posting, I got a couple more emails about my not updating the World Wide Wow blog. Here's the thing - I just had too much going on. When my mind was sharper, I could work full-time, spend time with the fam & friends, have my "loner" time, and still juggle the EIGHT blogs I had going. Things have changed. I can't keep up right now. This blog and the Project are all I can really handle. Until I get better, I will do try to handle some of the email requests. I will start you all in the best direction ever by sending you over to the beauty & brains that is Kim Komando. Chick is bad-to-the-bone sharp (and cute, too, the heffa - like the Farrah Fawcett of Geeks) and she is the pro. Bookmark her. Find her radio show in your area. You will never ask me shit again. (Where the hell do you think I went for my tips?)
Two - I can't keep eating to kill the cigarette cravings, but I can bake to keep the hands busy. So... I am prepping a cobbler for dessert. Let me just let you know, I am from Texas & I can bake my feet off! My cobbler is known for being off the freaking chain. I will post pics when done. I can tell you what the reaction of the fam is gonna be:
I was sitting here, feeling like crap. Seriously. Just drained from a horrible day full of 1-crappy news (don't ask), 2- harassing phone calls (the soon to be ex husband slash asshole), 3- fatigue (just wiped the hell out for some reason), supreme frustration (just life & such), and I wanted to be all Woe-is-me.
Then I saw this story about a beautiful little girl named Avery who just died. This poor baby lived a life so full love that it's reported she was smiling on the way to the hospital where she died. I am so ashamed of myself. I can't imagine how her family is hurting right now. They would probably give anything to trade my silly worries for what they are going through.
I can't even think about this Me crap right now. I'm probably going to wake up tomorrow and get a chance to see people I love again, write another story, eat another meal and, yes, complain about another something when I should just be so thankful.
"You can't think about tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time." This is a quote I thought my dad made up because it was just his life attitude. (I checked & it is from Charles Kettering, the inventor the electric starter. I really should have paid more attention to some things in school.)
My father had one peeve with me: I tend to get stuck in Self Doubt mode, Beat Myself Up mode and all the other walls we build when our pride or feelings get battered. Dad's thing was: It is what it is, and if you can't fix it, change it, or make it better, then learn from it and move the hell on. Life's short.
I'm not sure that I feel so much better right now, but I feel like I'm going to get over myself.
Guess I just wanted to share this in case anyone else is out there feeling the same way. That baby girl gave me a whole lot to think about. I don't ever want to forget this sweet little face:
Check out "Extensive Notes - Notepad"
Too deep for me at the moment, but I found this for a reader who is a student & wanted the functions. Be sure to let me know what you think.
Since I haven't been publishing the World Wide Wow blog, I will do my best answering email requests here. Be warned - there are good days & bad days, so I am not the most reliable. I will try tho.
Peace
--Free
Gooood morning, my town! My cold, dreary, looks-like-Spring-sprung-right-into-Fall morning.
It is NIPPLY here this morning. So let's wake up:
Works for me. I didnt even run into any walls or anything. I'm telling you, this dancing is way better than that boring machine.
I didn't sleep much again last night, so I'm kind of wired & tired, which makes for silly. One of the BFF's spent the night, but she had no trouble at all sleeping. She had so little trouble that her sorry ass is still asleep. I get it, tho. When working people get a day off, sometimes they just need to rest. I'm cool. I entertained myself by putting Kita Kat in the room with her. When she wakes up, he'll probably be sitting on her face! LOL
Meanwhile, I'm cruising the G while I wait for some call-backs. You know I'm over there so much just for the visuals. The art is nice, but the funny stuff is way better on a morning like this one.
Check this one out:
Is that so for real or what? The lady who posted it was still over there laughing about it an hour after she put it up. I told her I could really rub a few noses in this one. No names, no names.
But because I was having too much fun on that one, I ran across one that's going to pop into my head every time I eat anything that has "waffle," "potato" or "bun" in the name:
You think I'm playing? Remember my fat ass has some seriously random clumsy moments. I can so see this happening. Payback's a motha, which is why when I poke fun I try to make sure it's worth it. Usually it is. Yeah. It is.
Anyway, this was just a quickie morning post. I'll have to do something later. Meantime, hope the rest of your day feels like this:
I could really get down with this. ~sigh~ (except for that fugly furniture...)
It's just an illusion folks, but so much of life is. If you have to be somewhere stressful today, go somewhere nice in your mind. (Don't, like, stay there or nothing - cause that's called crazy - but do take a mental break. Everything's gonna be alright.)
What a long & hellacious day this has been. I can't believe it's only 4:30 or so. Feels like it should be 9pm three days from now.
First of all, this freaking Nico-patch isn't do me a damn bit of good today. Let me just get that out there right now. So, YES, I have been a bitch. No, no, let's back that one up... I took the idea of "Bitch" & added some salt, cayenne and hemlock to it so I could dish it out all new & fresh. About 30 customers served so far today...
I did behave myself at my appointment this morning though. Those guys were so dang nice, I wanted to ask of I could get a can of the air they must be breathing. Seriously. I hate going to see new doctors anyway, but I'm used to my regular place. This was a sorta new doctor for me, so... The guy that does the check-in on your vitals and such was training a new employee. She's a lucky hire because he was such a sweetheart. Her future patients better pray she turns out exactly like him. (Of course, I felt my inner bitch try to come out for a moment when I had to get my big ass on that scale. Man. I am going to have to get some glasses that distort the hell out of numbers before I start getting a complex about this weight.)
The (sorta) new doc was cool as hell. Funny. I only vaguely remember her from before. She seems like real good people. Blunt. No jive, but good heart. We were cracking up during most of the appointment. Because I am on so many meds - the kind that make you want to build a bathroom in your car or get some of those Astronaut diapers - I asked her about a certain kind of, um, exercise. We almost passed out laughing when we decided that's some mess men came up with to watch us make funny faces. For real. I tried doing this once & made the mistake of being with that crazy assed BFF T. This loud-mouth heffa told the whole damn cafe we were in that I looked like I was redacted to preserve a bit of my dignity) I may never go back to downtown Dallas again. I love T, really, truly I do, but B and I are going to have to remind her about that whole Inside Voice thing.
Anyway... (Can you guys tell I'm still struggling to separate these posts from the Project stuff? LOL)
I went on the G just to be a public snot & complain about this nasty smoking habit I created for myself. This is what I got from one of the sweetest of my buddies over there: Swanson Vitamins.
Um, yeah. Thanks, boo, but it's a freaking vitamin. The only vitamin that is going to help me with this is the one that can knock my ass unconscious for about a month. I could wake up and feel like I might be able to go on without the shakes. For now, it's going to be this foul gum and the Patch. My skin is so sensitive these days that anything sticky marks my body for days & days. I still have the outline from something from back when I was in the hospital. Last July. I've always had sensitive skin. That and this freak-show hair that turns a goofy shade of red in the sun. (Thanks for those genes, Mom.)
Ah, well. I did have another weird find on the G today. Before I do this, I want to warn you: If you look at it, this is going to stay with you forever. AND EVER. Seriously. I have memory problems & I might forget my name or how to tie my shoes, but... this is sandblasted onto my brain forever times ten. Here goes...
Is that messed up or what? The caption was "This cannot be unseen." No doubt. I'm not going to want my nephew to see the movie now...
Yeah. And then, while I was taking a minute to chat with a semi-BFF (all of us Bitches are working toward the real thing with her), she was feeling about as frumpty-dumpty as I look today. I happened to be looking at this at the time so I read it to her:
Cheered her right the hell up. Good. I told BFF B/Texas about it and that I'm thinking of pulling this new one into the BFF circle. B was like, "She sounds all right. Kinda stupid if she believes that corny bullshit you fed her, but... We'll train her." (Poor woman. She's about the become a member of the Bitches.)
Well, it's getting a little later in the day. I need to get off my arse and since I can't have a *fag (Hi, David! Readers, see note below) and get something that resembles food on the table. You guys have a good rest of the day & remember:
I am supposed to be writing. Got up again at the damn dawn of time so I might as well be doing something productive, right?
Um hm.
Yeah, I'm so productive that I called & woke up BFF "B" (Texas "B," Alaska B was here til around midnight). Told B that I needed some motivation to quit fidgeting so I could just sit & write. She pretty much said something kind of foul to me & said she'll call me later.
So I'm not writing, trying not to smoke, trying not to eat & damnit, those blueberry muffins from Costco are just screaming my name!... All I've got left for now is to surf the Net, add another 3 million apps to my phone, and... bore the crap out of you guys with this lame ass post.
Just thought of something to share with you: B & I went to Old Navy last night. She has an upcoming informal wedding to attend and I have... Well, I have serious wardrobe issues. All my really cute warm-weather wear is really snug. (I will tell you in another post - maybe later today - about an outfit I wore on Friday.)
Anyway, we hit up O.N, because there's a sale on & B has a coupon. Since Nordstrom and any boutique downtown is now way out of limits, O.N. is my spot & usually they have great bargains...
Usually.
The sale yesterday? Pure bullshit. The only stuff on sale (IMO) was so damn ugly it belonged at a really bad yardsale. (I might be exxagerating a little.) Some of the stuff was cute. All that "cute" came in sizes -6 to 6. And what was in my size?
Yeah. That's the kind of neon fugliness I had to consider.
Bump that. Dark-skinned as I am, in that bright California-Crayon-colored mess, I'd look like fucking Flavor Flav in drag. Besides being a hot white smoking mess out of some low-class design school class, that crap was not really made for summer. The fabric is the kind to stick to you if you have one bead of sweat on you. (I pretty much said all this out loud - not real loud - to B. This stingy bitch goes, "But, girl it's only eight dollars." I had to remind myself that friendship is a process.)
I stood around that rack for about 10 minutes just to see if anyone else was interested in such crap. The only person who even paused on the way by did the same thing I did: took a picture. You know she put that up on Facebook or something. Probably labelled as "Funny Pic of the Day."
Yeah. So, I didn't find much at the Navy. I did get a cute t-shirt that will probably shrink the first time I wash it & make me look like an orange Jamaican dumpling. I got it because it only cost $3.99 and I just knew I had a pair of shorts in a matching color at home. I did. Threw those out when I remembered what size they were in.
(Note: This having to only post stuff not to be in the book is going to be tough. I hope I don't end up running you guys off.)
Okay, so I can quit bugging the piss out of you guys. People are rising around here. You know we have to get ready for our Sunday eats. B is going to show us how to make her Fruit Pizza & my sister is going to teach both of us how to make Nilla Wafer Pudding Pie. I've eaten enough of it in my life for the recipe to be engraved on my gut, but... I was supposed to take out some chicken last night & forgot so my sister is about to have a fit when I tell her. Tough. They know better than to give me stuff like that to do! LOL
Seriously tho - hope everyone has a good Sunday, a peaceful & stress-free Sunday. Be blessed, be happy and just try to be free.
(For those who get the email posts, I apologize. I'm having a crooked morning. I think I've had to edit/update this one 4 times. Sorry bout that. I'm leaving it alone for now. Try to read through the fog.)
I am not s'posed to be putting up anything here that is going into the project. It's kind of tough not to be on here, running my motor mouth every minute.
Still & all, I have plenty to share. Here are some pics I just flipped through on the phone:
This is not a great pic quality wise, but it's pretty special. It's my niece & another mommykins returning from their first stroller walk with the babies. My girl has waited a looong time to be a Mommy. I'm so proud & happy. Almost missed getting even this shot. Good thing I glanced out the window just in time... (This would be my favorite pic if I had gone & cleaned the front windows last week like I meant to! lol)
These of Kita Kat from when he was a kitten. Crazy little bastard. Was the only one who probably didn't hate me at that time. I'd just been released from the hospital & was running real low on sanity. Kita gets me because he's also crazy as hell. That might be because we thought he was a girl until those balls dropped. Wonder if he is gender-confused? Nah. Just crazy, I think. (BTW: Kita is about to be re-named The Boss, thanks to Randy over on G+)
"Hang on, Trudy! I'm coming to save you, girl!"
(Actually, he was trying to break out of the house to join me on the deck.)
"Aw, shit! Not good, not good..."
I just love this one of DJ. Does he not look like a straight-outta-Compton thug? We have better plans for him, but this picture just cracks me up. I call this one "Thuggy-D," but not around his parents. They think I'm a responsible adult...
"Say whaaat?"
I'm kind of proud of these curtains. The fabric on the left looked a little crappy until I turned them into the summer curtains on the right. Kita digs it. My bedroom window is where his sits to watch over his kingdom. I have to keep that space looking fly.
What the purple & blue hell!!!
Pretty sure I posted the pic of these boots before. Can't help it. I'm fascinated. Trying to figure out who the hell other than Prince, Little Richard or some crackass hoe would wear this bullshit. There is no way in hell that can work. (OK - Prince could make it work. That sexy little mother**cker.)
Let's all pause & have a Prince moment:
(You better watch this real quick. Prince is sexy - and a little bit fucked up in the head - but he doesn't like his music being out there. The man likes getting paid. Sue me. Blood from a dead turnip.)
Now, these are some cute boots. I know I must've posted these before. They look plain the the pic, but, damn were they cute. Of course, I can barely walk a straight line in flats. This kind of look right here is going to be off limits on my clumsy, baffled ass for a loooong minute.
****
Alrighty. My mood has passed. I'm going to get up and do something productive. Maybe take the Deej for a stroll down the street. Let me quit lying. I'm about to go down and find something to eat. Trying to stop this smoking again. Damnit.
Peace
--Free
P.S.: I'm sorry, but I had to come back for a minute after I viewed the Prince vid again. Everyone take note: This man is so damn confident. You have to be either be a balls to the wall headcase or just freaking delusional to be like Prince. That man is all of 5 foot 1 (or maybe 2) and pulls off sexy like nobody's business. I have a 7 year old nephew taller than Prince...
That's some kind of sexy. Prince wears heels and pulls it off. He wears eyeliner and pulls it off. He's the only man prettier than a woman that I'd want to be seen with.
Up too early again... Want to call someone so I'm not up alone, but the time is so crazy that even the Texas BFF is probably still asleep. Oh well. Guess I'll drag you all along while I go cruise the G.
This photo caught my eye & held it. This is too pretty to eat. I think I'd just shellac it and hang it on a wall (credit to hong duxuemin)
This next pic was on the G+ page of this lady. (She's a fave G-Plusser.)
Funny because it kind of goes with a post a bunch of us have been passing around as a compliment:
Meant only with love!
This just blew my weak-assed little mind. (The credit to this super-cool art blog . I just bookmarked it because I am going to be spending a lot of time over there.)
This made me smile & cringe at the same time. You have to know that I am so hooked on that stupid Angry Birds game. Not mature at all, but sometimes it just give my mind a safe place to go! LOL
Yeah. Well.
If you do get over to G+, there are some people you should make a point of checking out. Not that I don't have a million favorites, but here are a few for you:
Marija Falina - Aside from having a name I covet, she is a bad-to-bone artist. Her sketchbook work is freaking amazing. She contributes here. I can't even tell you how impressed I am with her stuff. I have the artistic talent of a drunk puppy & I "get" her, That's some boss ass talent. The only other artist I truly feel is Georgia O'Keeffe, who was all in your face with her big old flowers. (I swear I should take a class on Art For Slow People because it was only after about 10 years of loving Georgia's flowers that I started seeing all the vaginas in them. Do you know a friend had to point that shit out to me?) Anyway, check out Marija because in addition to he talent, she's a super-nice person.
Peter From - Interesting dude. Writes historical fact books, is an amazing photographer & just seems to be a pretty nice guy who teach other photogs a thing or two. What I really like about Peter is that he is a natural teacher. He obviously loves what he does & wants to spread the fever. Good for him.
Frasier Cain - (OK, first of all, I always imagine he has a brother named Niles & a housekeeper named Daphne...) I got hip to him when I was invited into his Science Circle. Yeah. Somebody fucked up & assumed I'd fit into that crowd! It has been good for me tho. Frasier & his folks are smart but not assholes. I learn so much their postings. Frasier also puts out Universe Today, and if you aren't impressed yet, well he has a freaking asteroid named after him. That's so pimp.
I hear baby D.J. trying to wake up. I might have someone really cute to keep me company in a moment. Hallelujah! I will log off before Deej really starts to wail. Let the Mommy & Daddy catch a few extra zzzz's... And you would too. I mean, just look at this cuteness right here...
The fam's current little rug rat. We're all in love.
(Everyone else is going to have to ignore this post or just scratch their heads & go "Hmmm?" This is a direct message to someone in particular. And, no, Richard M., there's no need in emailing to ask. Not talking.)
Oh my damn! I had to resist the impulse to go back through the blog & delete stuff. I would have tried to clean up the language, but that would take about half the rest of my life & time borrowed. Today (of all days) I can't think clear enough to cover my tracks, so... Just go ahead & entertain yourself. I'll be over here, cringing!
(Forgot til my writing partner reminded me: we are using a specific blog to post stuff for the agent. I have to figure out how to add you as authorized to read. Go to this link & I will move some of the stuff over for now. I just now talked to my partner & he is loving this. He says that I have to be on my best behavior now. Uh, no sir. As far as what's on the blog, I'm going to ask forgiveness, not permission.)
April, May, June and July are tough for our family. Two of my older brothers celebrate birthdays this week. Born a year and a day apart. Chuck and Joe.
My mother passed away in the month of April on Joe's birthday.
My father was born in the month of May and died in the month of July shortly after my June birthday.
Mother's Day this year is on the 13th of May.
It took me until just now to figure out why I have these blues. Happens like this almost every single year.
I really miss my Mom. Being lucky to have super-amazing people in my life, I think about the different ways we (all people, men and women) can be a Mother/Father comfort to one another. Or a "covering." I will explain that later.
Think about it, mothers and fathers just love. That's really the main job. Everything else comes out of that love. They care for, teach, lead, discipline, comfort, protect, push, challenge, inspire, encourage, advise, listen & hear, and just love. As children, we get different measures and degrees of all those things from our parents as we go the the stages of life, but it is never not needed.
Once, when I was around 30 or so, I went through some minor life crisis (can't remember what exactly) and my mother was sitting and holding my head in her lap one day. I was just laying there, watching the news with her, feeling miserable about whatever I was going through. One of our good friends happened to drop by for a visit at the time. She saw me being miserable and my mother being comforting and instantly just "got it." She didn't think was weird in any way that I had gone to my mother right after work to just curl up on the couch and be tended to. (My brothers would have joked about my being a big ole grown baby, but they would just be joking.)
As my mother always told me, I never stopped being "her baby." All of us, even my big 6 foot 1 brothers (okay, and the short one, too!) never stopped being hers. (Understand this, my mother stood about 5 foot 7. My brothers would not only stand still but stoop so that Mom could smack on across the back of their head. I think the last time she probably did it on a regular basis was when they were around 16 or 17. I know because they all laugh and tell those stories now.)
My father was just as bad. He didn't "baby" the boys, but they were still his "kids." My sister & I? Now, we were still "his girls." (Up until 2 months before my father died, he sang to me. "My Girl," "You Are The Sunshine of My Life," and "Sugar Pie, Punkin Pie"... My dad sang his love for me.) I have a picture of Dad and my older sister. She is all married & grown, but you can see that, to him, she is still one of "his girls." (And I will tell you something that means nothing at all to me as far as our family love: my dad was my sister's step-dad. People who knew us for, literally, 40 yrs or more and did not know about that until my silly-assed stepmother mentioned it after my father's death. Witch.)
When both my parents were gone, my sister & I became "mothering" to each other. My brothers became "fathering."
In marriage, my parents believed that your spouse was supposed to be what some Christians call your "covering." In other words, the husband becomes the wife's comfort or her cover: covering her worries, fears, needs and dreams. The wife becomes the same for the husband, but under his submission. (I don't care what your ideas about feminism or power are. This is the way I was raised and I have no problem submitting in love to love. Love, not abuse. Been there, done that.)
Because I am now not "covered" (wasn't ever really covered in the first place by the soon-to-be-ex), I am covered by the men in my family (blood & chosen). I go to them for advice and strength, I go to them the way I would my father. Until I am loved and covered by a man I choose, I have that comfort of the family.
With my mother gone, I not only have my sister, but I have my mother's friends and my own best friends you hear me talk so much about. For some of my friends, I am sometimes "Mom." Me - Ooe of the most childish adults around!
Uh oh. Somehow I forgot where I was going with this post, if I was going anywhere at all. I think I just needed to be writing after I realized where my recent mood was coming from. Now I know.
(Because "B" is in love & struggling with it right now, this is my favorite Gwendolyn Brooks' poem. Hey, B, like I was telling you, we can't understand love & should never, ever try to.)
To be in love Is to touch with a lighter hand. In yourself you stretch, you are well. You look at things Through his eyes. A cardinal is red. A sky is blue. Suddenly you know he knows too. He is not there but You know you are tasting together The winter, or a light spring weather. His hand to take your hand is overmuch. Too much to bear. You cannot look in his eyes Because your pulse must not say What must not be said. When he Shuts a door- Is not there_ Your arms are water. And you are free With a ghastly freedom. You are the beautiful half Of a golden hurt. You remember and covet his mouth To touch, to whisper on. Oh when to declare Is certain Death! Oh when to apprize Is to mesmerize, To see fall down, the Column of Gold, Into the commonest ash
B - Sleep good, sweets. It's been a rough few days, but you are going to be alright & I'm going to be alright. Alright? LOL
My G+ buddy Kevin and I have been on a music kick. He posts some of the best stuff over there. I'm just bored, housebound & trying to keep up. Enjoy.
***
I won't admit to being "old," but I remember when most of the slow jams were a lot like this one (real life feelings without the x-rated lyrics. Oh yeah, and the artists could actually sing.)
There's a reason this stuff is called "baby-making" music, so be careful.
These guys were a discovery of Earth, Wind & Fire. That smooth harmonizing. Love it.
ONE of my first innocent kisses was to this song right here...
And to stay with Rufus for a moment,
Oh! This one here. Love it. I had a good friend when I was younger. She just about played the grooves off the LP (Yes, younger people, I know I am speaking the foriegn language of Yester-ancient...) My friend declared this the best make-out song ever. Hmm... it's one of them, but
THIS is my pick. It's so sweet and sad, isn't it? Okay, maybe not meant to be a make-out song, but you know what I mean. Damn. I wish I was in love! LOL
(They looking a little... Goofy-happy here, huh? LOL)
And.... The cause of who knows HOW many babies. The man, the voice, the smoothness... Marvin Gaye. (OK, Marvin was a little bit whack-a-doo, but I'll be damned if he didn't just do the damn thing with this song):
I dare you to even think about liking someone & getting them somewhere with this playing. This song is pure trouble, I tell ya! LOL Better do like old-school Mamas used to say & put them knees together and duck-walk the hell out of there!
Okay. That's it for right now. I might be back if I get too bored. (The fam is still worried about me drivng. I feel fine; don't know what their problem is.) Since I am on the music kick, I'm going to go and do some dancing. Try to burn off some of this fat on my ass. For that, my playlist is set up as:
"Irresistible B**ch" (Prince)
"Welcome to the Jungle" (GNR)
"Lose Control" (Missy Elliot)
"Fame" (David Bowie)
"Dancing Machine" (Jackson 5) Quit laughing. Baby DJ loves this one!
"Lady Cab Driver" (Prince) cabdriver - cab driver? ~shrug~
"Rockafeller Skank" (Fatboy Slim)
"Just Fine" (Mary J. Blige) Somedays I really feel like this. Not today. Not yet, but maybe later.
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