Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Home Happy Sad Mad Manic

I was trying to think of the song in some commercial (for dryer sheets or laundry soap?) that goes like: "Take me back, take me back, to my family, my family..."

Wish I could think of it. That would be the perfect song for me this morning. I am back home from that overnight at the hospital. It feels good. I am starting to count hospital stays. Had almost made it to a 1-year anniversary of the first (and I hoped, ONLY) stay. Just a couple months more...

This sounds crazy, and I do realize that, but I am almost afraid to mention any symptoms or worries to the fam a friends now. They are so quick to rush me off to the doctor - and the docs, of course, are quick to want to find out what's  wrong. Yes, I know - they are being rational and I am not. I am just being me.

Here's a funny thing: once again,  nearly every doctor I saw in the ER was so new that they had to check their notes to figure out which questions to ask me. Maybe not just because they are new, but also because of the Sarc. One of them seemed kind of excited when he told me I'm the first person he's met with the disease. Not the first patient - the first person. *shrug* I think I was kind of happy for him. *SMH*

Th other thing that's going to be fun is having the higher dose of prednisone again. And higher methotrexate. Yay. This is now an equation set of my life for a while:

More prednisone = more weight, more awake, more bitchy. 

+

More methotrexate = more sick.

and

weight, awake, bitchy, sick

=

HELL for those who care about me

So, yeah. Yay.

Did I mention that right now I can't drive? This. Sucks. Skunk booty.

Still, tho, I close in

Peace
--Free

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