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Monday, April 02, 2012

On Being Me

I saw something over on G+ and, as usual, I have more to say about it than fits in a comment box. This is the Cantonese proverb that was imposed over a sketch of a woman.

"When sleeping women wake, mountains move."

That touched me. Hard. How could it not?

Then I read the G-Plusser's own preface of : "It's not about shoes, finding the right guy, or worrying if your butt looks too big in those jeans."

I get the point they were trying to make. Really, I do. First of all, the sketch and proverb shows as coming  from a Christian site.. (*shrug*) I am, believe it or not, a Christian. For a while, I was so hard on myself - trying to be a super-Christian. I even blogged about it (from my high horse, of course). I tried not to think of anything that even smelled of sinfulness. Tried to be a water-proof, bullet-proof, totally immune Christian.

Guess what? I couldn't do it. I couldn't not be human.

I am a woman, I am flesh and blood. I do think about things like food, water, shelter, warmth, love, touch, sex, sad, happy and right and wrong. I do think about finding the right guy, worrying if my butt looks too big (or small), or if my hair is pretty or if I smell nice. Of course I think about all that. I just try not to make it such a priority that I become a worthless human being, no good to anyone else because I'm too busy thinking about myself, but... I hope you get my point. (By the way, I ended up going back in and deleting a lot of those self-righteous posts on my blogs. I even shut down one of the blogs entirely.) 

The way I see it, Jesus died for my sins, for my being human, and he didn't stop loving me when I become his. I become Christians, but I didn't stop being human.

Now, do I go out looking to be "bad"? I don't, but I had to stop trying to be perfect. If I ever do reach "perfect" then I won't need Jesus. But I do need him. I need him as much as I need to be human.

No offense intended toward the G+ poster, and I don't even know for sure what their personal comment meant. I just wanted to address - for myself - what it made me feel.