The Good Old Days

It hurts my vanity a little to know I can even use the term "good old days", but ~sigh~ I'm approaching zzopfiftythreeuu...

When I posted about our love/hate relationship with technology, I started thinking about what I miss from days before my cell phone:

• That little vent-window on cars. You know the one that isn't in the newer cars?
• Ashtrays in cars. I don't even smoke anymore, but I just miss the ashtrays. Memories, maybe...
• Sitting curled up in bed, playing with the curly-cord on the phone while I talked to a boyfriend or best friend. For those of you who don't know phones not named Android or "i":

I think everything from the 1970's was this color!

• Wood-slat swings. Remember those? Your butt didn't scoop down like it does on the soft plastic seats.
• Getting a letter in the mail. Not a bill - or offer from Ed McMahon or Capital One - but a real letter. Addressed to you and written in ink or pencil. (Letters from Grandma with those loose dollar bills don't count because you probably still get those!)
• Hanging out in the yard with your friends, watching the glow of lightning bugs. 

Aww... so cute!

• Should I admit here that my friends and I used to tear off the "light" part and make temporary earrings or do this:

...til we used them as ornaments

• Telling secrets to your very best friend, mouth-to-ear, where no one else could hear, instead of texting her.
• When your "network" of friends were your in-real-life friends who lived down the street, or around the corner, or up the way.
• I kind of miss the cars with the single seat. You know the one where it was a group effort to slide it forward? (I couldn't find an image, but older folks will know what I'm talking about!)
• I miss going to gas stations where someone ran out to clean the windshield and pump the gas for you. (Except when I'm broke and don't want anyone to see I'm stopping at twelve dollars and eighty cents so that I don't overdraw my bank card! Of course, back in the day twelve dollars would satisfy a monthly gas budget.) By the way, here's an interesting article.

Don't know when this pic was taken, but... wow!

• I miss getting long-distance calls from the guy who loved me so much that he would pay for a long-distance international call. These days, some ladies are lucky to get a gift of virtual roses from inside a Facebook game.
• Waking up to the National Anthem playing on TV because you went to sleep just before those multi-colored bars came on. You know - back when TV went off air at night instead of playing informercials or really bad movies round the clock.
• Speaking of TV, I miss TV Guide. I think it's still around, but who needs it? We have that handy little on-screen guide that comes with subscription services. The guide with so many channels and recording or scheduling options that make me glad I don't own a TV set.

Whatta know. Still around. They have a webpage...

• I miss my old-fashioned childhood that my nieces and nephews won't get to have: going for hayrides at Christmas; licking the spoon after Mom mixed a cake from scratch; not talking back to the teacher because you didn't want a meeting with her "board of education" that hung from a strap behind her desk; not talking back to any adult because, well, they were an adult; and being excited to be grown so that you could drive, have your own phone and make your own rules. These days, kids are too "grownup" before they are really grown up.

I could go on and on. The older you get, the more memories you have! The thing is, I don't want to sound ungrateful for the fact that I'm still around. I just hope that when kids today get old enough to look back on their youth, they will have their own good memories.

Peace

--Free

Happy Mother's Day (for the non-moms)

I wish a happy Mother's Day to all the women out there who didn't give birth to kids, but sacrificed for them anyway.

Many thanks and blessings to every woman who didn't have her own children and still forfeited time and money and personal freedoms for the benefit of kids.

This society celebrates men and women for being a "mother" or "father" - and for doing what any good parent is supposed to do. There is no day, however, for the people who do what they do because it is the right thing to do.

The forgotten people are the ones who don't get titles such as "foster", "step", "god" and "grand". the forgotten people are the one who never asked for a title. These are the people who were there for a child when they didn't have to be, yet chose to be. They sacrificed out of love. And that is never really a sacrifice.

So, I want to give all of those people a special shout out. I know that they will appreciate it. I know this because I am one of them. I've endured all the remarks about not knowing what it's like to "be a mom" (or dad); I know what it feels like to sit by while the flowers and cards and candy is handed out. Kids only know what their parents teach them, so don't be offended if they never thank you.

Years ago, my sister and I were involved in foster care. A lot of the kids we fostered had parents who were constantly failing in efforts to become better parents. They didn't always show up for planned visits with the kids; some of them had hurt their children - physically or emotionally; and they sometimes expected the kids to be more in control than they themselves were. But, no matter how badly the parents had messed up, those kids were always, always, so happy to see Mom or Dad. That's the way it should be. No one wants to not love their parents.

In some cases, my sister and I learned, the kids ended up back with their "bio-parents" and we always hoped that things would work out well. In a strange way, we hoped that the kids would forget us - you know, because life with their own family would be so good. And that's the way it should be.

Still, I know what it feels like to want to be acknowledged with a little bit of return love.

So, bless all you non-parent parents! Your only reward might be in Heaven, but that's just fine.

I heart you

Peace
--Free

Smoothie-licious

Some days I'm better at taking care of myself than others. Usually, those days come right after I've felt the effects of not taking care of myself. The last few weeks have been a little draining so I am making a renewed effort to be good to myself.

You've already heard about my love affair with the blender I purchased a while back. Here's one of the reasons I fall in love all over again just about every three days:

blueberries, raspberries, honey, spinach & flax

Two tablespoons of flax. Daily limit.

And bananas & Silk Almond Milk. And more raspberries!

It's ready to mix. How pretty!

Kind of pretty, ain't it?

And then... The yummy is ready for my tummy.

Tastes SO much better than it looks.

I like using bananas in my morning smoothies because  it makes me feel full. When I'm out later, running errands, I won't try sneaking in an Auntie Anne's pretzel.

Now that berries and veggies are a little more reasonable (fingers crossed!), the only complain I have about buying things for the smoothies is the price of Silk products. I've tried other brands of soy vanilla and almond milk, but they just don't taste as good. Maybe that's why Silk is priced higher? Hmmm... I am open to suggestions, folks.

I'm going to take some photos of my weight loss soon. It's a matter of sunlight and angles. I'm dark-skinned and I don't photograph well under less-than-perfect conditions. Now that it's nice and sunny in Anchorage, I will make an attempt to get some shots. I can't wait until you see the difference between now and last year. Serious, serious changes!

Peace
--Free

Technology: Pro or Con?

I've been thinking about how technology affects every part of our lives. There's some new advancement almost every day it seems.  I feel like I can't keep up - or like tech can't keep up with me!

At the grocery store recently while I scanned a shelf of products, I had a weird moment. I found myself wishing that I could find the specific price and product I wanted by pressing CTRL-F.

Why isn't there a way to computerize the shopping experience in a really useful way? That's what I want to know.

Of course, we all think we've come a long way with technology we use in our everyday lives. I think that, If my grandmother could see the way she shop these days, she'd probably think we've come too far.

 I'm old enough to have one foot in the age of Atari and the other in the land of self-parking cars and I am still stumped by some of the features on my smartphone. I often wonder what this current world of our would look like through the eyes of Grandma.

My father's parents grew most of their own vegetables and got most of their meat from neighbors who had farms. Any food they purchased came from the little store down the street. During my childhood summer visits to the grandparents, Grandma would send me an my cousins to the store for things like bread or flour, which she got on credit. I didn't understand that she paid this bill off every month. It was like having a Capital One card with special privileges. Only local of at least two generations need apply! My own parents shopped at the Commissary or BX. I knew nothing of this local credit system.

I have a cousin who lives in San Francisco. A few years ago, he was telling me how he orders his groceries online for delivery to his doorstep. I felt like a hick the next time I had to drive to Walmart for vanilla soy and eggs.

On the other hand, I have an aunt in her eighties who almost performed an exorcism on my phone when she saw me using it to check my email. She never has gotten over losing her rotary dial desk phone to the push-button handset model. I find it both funny and interesting that she thinks technology effects on society is more negative than positive. Maybe it's not really funny.

According to my aunt, technology has ruined young people, eroded manners, and closed more doors than it's opened. I had the nerve to argue with her. I played PRO, she played CON:

• PRO: Cellphones and computers let parents keep in almost constant contact with their kids.
• CON: Contact by text and email can't replace face-to-face communication.
• PRO: We can work from anywhere (and in our PJs, if we want!).
• CON: We are never away from work.
• PRO: Computers have shrunk the world. We can meet and get to know people from across the globe.
• CON: A lot of shallow relationships can't replace a few solid relationships.
• PRO: We can take virtual tours of almost anywhere in this world.
• CON: And we forget to look at the beauty right outside our front door - or the mess right in our own homes.
• PRO: Technology has given more people more opportunities than ever before.
• CON: There are still a lot of people left out of those opportunities.
• PRO: We can keep up with news and information better than ever.
• CON: We get so much information that we care less about the details.
• PRO: Technology is improving medicine and business.
• CON: It's making us forget people and individual lives
• PRO: Cookies!
• CON: What?
• PRO: I just ordered cookies from Sri Lanka! I couldn't do that twenty years ago!
• CON: Uh huh. You know they say cellphones cause brain damage.

Okay, so my auntie might have a point.

Peace

--Free

***REVIEW*** Barielle Moisturizing Day Cream

Barielle Moisturizing Day Cream (with "Resveratrol") is a very reasonably priced product that I found at Sally Beauty Supply.

At first I thought that resveratrol was just a made-up word that was slapped on the jar to make me think this stuff just must be good for my skin. Man! I was floored when I saw that it is an actual, um, something. Specifically:

a stilbenoid, a type of natural phenol, and a phytoalexin produced naturally by several plants when under attack by pathogens such as bacteria or fungi.

I guess now would be the time for me to learn to pronounce it correctly instead of as "reverse-a-troll"! 

In addition to the fact that this cream is cheaper ($10.99) than those of other brands I've used (Avon, Clarins, etc.), it's pretty good stuff. It's better than the Correctionist* that I first chose when I was at Sally's recently, but not as good as the No7 by Boots*. The Correctionist was a couple dollars more ($12)  in price and the No7 was more expensive by half ($22), so...

As to how well this cream works, I have to say that is is very moisturizing without being heavy or "sticky." My skin right now is at a very dry stage (adjusting to summer weather), so this is good. If you have less dry - or combination - skin, I suggest trying one of the other Barielle face creams. 

day, night, eye, skin polish - oh my!

They have a bunch of skin care products. For this one though:

PROS:

• Price is excellent for the 1.5oz/42.5mL jar ($12 online)
• Shea butter is one of the ingredients
• While "fragrance" is listed on ingredients, I barely noticed any scent
• Because the cream is very rich, it takes just a little to apply to whole face
• There was no visible shine to my skin after applying

CONS:

• No sunscreen
• Jar was not as full as I expected (settling issues, maybe?)
• The brand is not one I've seen locally anywhere else except at Sally's

Now, I didn't exactly read the entire Wiki on resveratrol, but I did notice the note about it's effect on the skin:

The oxidative stress induced by ultraviolet radiation is one of the main causes for premature skin ageing. The photoprotective effects of several polyphenols known for their antioxidant properties, including resveratrol, have been investigated in silico and in topical application conditions.

That's a plus, I suppose - now that I even know about the stuff! Apparently, there are even supplements you can consume. Who knew about all this? WebMD has information on the supplements, by the way.

Peace

--Free

* I will be posting reviews on Correctives and No7 soon.

***REVIEW*** Zoomingo Shopping App

I love shopping, but because everything in my life revolves around a budget, I really love shopping apps that help me stay on target. Zoomingo has to be one of my favorite shopping apps. You can get it here on Play (and here for iPhone).

Even the logo is cool

I'm about to get all long-winded in describing it to you, but I'll start with a simple explanation of why I love it: It's like having a private shopping mall on your phone. Seriously. I find myself browsing for my favorite stuff before I head out to the actual stores. It's such a great way to organize your shopping list and budget  - before you even leave the house - when you have an idea of what your choices are.

There's a lot of use you can get out of the app, but I'll try covering it from my personal perspective:

• I can see sales/prices for stores in my area
• I'm lazy and don't want to drive all over town comparing prices, so...
• I can choose to view sales "at a glance" (ex: sales & coupons, top clearance items, or by category, or Editor's Pick)
• When checking stores I prefer, I can see at a glance how may items they have on sale
• Because my stores are listed, I never forget to check one (that I might otherwise forget)
• I can view sales "by category" (women, men, home, electronics, etc.)
• If I like one of the listed stores, I can "follow" it via the app
• I can view and add items to my "Shopping List", see end date of sale,  get item details, share details with friends, map location, call the location
• If I want, I can create a "Shopping Circle" with friends & family. (That's all I need, huh? A bunch of shopaholics with an app to enable us!)

Whew! That's a lot, right? Because you can track and view so much information with the app, I like that I can go into profile and see what I've got going on: my shopping circle, stores I'm following, categories I'm following (I almost forgot to mention that), items on my price-watch list (did I mention that one?), and the items I've "Liked."

Like I said, there's a lot to like about this app. Currently, my favorite part of it is checking the sales and coupons. 

I got so wrapped up in the app, I forgot to mention Zoomingo online.

Have fun & don't blame me for your shopping addiction!

Peace

--Free

***REVIEW*** Travalo Refillable Perfume Perfume Atomizer

Found this at Perfumania here in Anchorage while looking for Mother's Day gifts. 

Cute, handy, affordable

 It's a refillable atomizer by Travalo. Other than being perfect as a gift, here are the other plusses of this item:

• Cute (see the colors below)
• Sturdy (is glass, not plastic)
• Handy (really does fit well in purse or pocket)
• Refills (at least at my local Perfumania) are just $10
• Refilling with your own perfume spray bottles is pretty easily done
• 65 sprays for your 10 bucks
• compared to "mini-sized" fragrances, it's cheaper

sounded simple, but I wasn't convinced!

I was worried about how messy it would be to refill the atomizer until I watched the clerk at Perfumania set up my gift bottle. It was really pretty simple. I had one of those wish-I'd-thought-of-that moments when I realized the process is similar to using butane lighter.

glass bottle

Good thing I found this. The perfume I wanted to gift was in the $90 range. That wasn't going to happen this year!

couldn't find this size in local store :-(

It's Honey by Marc Jacobs. By the way, I am in love with this perfume myself. If I start saving up right this minute, I might be able to "put a little something on it" by next year. Beautifully layered fragrance! Just amazing.

How freaking cute is the bottle!!!

You know that bottle is one you'd keep forver...

Before I forget, here are the various colors the Travalo atomizer comes in:

I'm partial to the gold one

Peace

--Free

Mother's Day (is for *real* women only!)

With Mother's Day coming up, I've been thinking about the gifts I used to give - and ones I've received. I am convinced that one of the most amazing things a mother does is keeping a straight face anytime she is presented with gifts from small children. And from grown-up husbands.

When I was a kid, I gave my mother those sweet little gifts that melted her heart. One time, I gave her some perfume that could have melted nose hairs. Usually, my gifts were things made at school and constructed of popsicle sticks and cotton balls or something. Mothers really do cherish those things, you know. I know because I received the same types of gifts from the nieces I helped raise.

One year, one of my nieces (who was about 8) got her mother a gigantic bottle of perfumed bubble bath from the Dollar Store. Vanna was so pleased with her purchase that she couldn't wait to give it to  her mama. The rest of us couldn't wait to see the look on her mama's face. Like I said, mothers are amazing in their love for their kids. My sister-in-law actually used that bubble bath.

My two nieces have given me gifts that gave me rashes ("perfumes" and makeup), damaged my clothing (a gigantic ceramic brooch), and made me the object of giggles and envy (when I proudly wore that big old brooch to work). My sister got a tray of eye-shadows once that came in colors so hideous I'm not sure how to describe them. She wore them just as proudly as I wore my brooch. She got a rash on her eyelids that took days to go away.

Those gifts that come straight from the heart of a child are perfect - until that child is old enough to carry around a cellphone or ask for curfew extensions. Then it's time to get real.

I'm no gift expert, but I'd really like to throw out to the kids and dads some alternatives ("Better") to "The Usual" gift ideas:

The Usual: that random perfume you picked up without knowing if Mom will like it.

• Better (for hubby): how about getting her a fragrance she's mentioned only a couple thousand times? 
• Better (kids): Help dad pick out that perfume that Mom has been talking about when he wasn't really listening all the times she mentioned it.

The Usual: those little handmade "coupon" books you threw together at the last minute because you, well, waited until the last minute.

• Better (hubby): coupons for things Mom will really appreciate - like helping with dinner, putting down the toilet seat, doing the grocery-shopping -  or whatever it is you know she likes but you haven't been doing. 
• Better: (kids): coupons for her not to have to tell you to clean your room or help with the other housework. You could even make a coupon book for yourself with reminders to tell your mom you love her, to give her a big hug sometimes, or to just not always be such a smart aleck when she's trying to give you advice. You could even add a reminder to let her know that not everyone is lucky enough to have a mother like her.

I won't go on and on (like I usually do), but you get the idea. Basically, I think most moms would appreciate the gift of a really good  pillow. Or maybe that's just me!

Happy Mother's Day to all the women out there. Not all of you have kids of your own. Sometimes, people don't even recognize you with a special day or title, even though you were a big part of the village that helped raise a child. Some of you are auntie-moms, sister-moms, neighbor-moms, helped-out-moms, or step-in-moms. Whoever you are, if you have ever loved a child with your time, advice, prayers and encouragement, I'm glad you were there.

Peace

--Free

***REVIEW*** Simple Face Care Starter Kit

This Simple Starter kit was at Walmart for $5.57

Gotta love trial or starter kits!

(Simple Check out Simple here for information, and here for coupons.)

I thought that was a great price for trying out the products (which, full-sized, the lower-priced items run in the $11-$13 range**. The kit includes the following (links will send you to that product's info site):

• Moisturizing Facial Wash 1.7oz (50mL)
• 7 Cleansing Facial Wipes (each wipe is 7x7.5 in - 18x19 cm)
• Replenishing Rich Moisturizer 1.9oz (56mL)

One reason I wanted to try these three items is that I kind of fell in love with the Simple brand the first time I heard of it. A couple of years ago I did a review of the Simple face scrub I was given to try via a SheSpeaks.com campaign. I'm not a fan of using scrubs - especially on my face - but I was impressed with the pureness of the Simple product: no dyes, artificial perfumes or harsh irritants. Nice. I still have some of that scrub (yes, after 2 years!) because, though it's the only facial scrub I use, I only indulge once every other month or so...

What I do love, love, love are facial wipes. It's hard to find good wipes that do a good job of cleaning your face without leaving a film behind. Well, I love the Simple Cleansing Facial Wipes! Besides cleaning off all my makeup (even the hard-to-remove eyeliner), the wipe didn't dry out my skin at all. The wipe itself was really soft but strong. Usually, after cleaning my face, I'm running to moisturize before that dry feeling starts setting in. Another plus: to remove my full-face powder, lipstick, eyeliner and mascara (waterproof*), I only needed one wipe because they are nicely sized:

great size

for scale...

Because the wipe left my face so clean, I waited until a few hours later to try the Moisturizing Facial Wash.

Once again, I could tell that this product seems to be free of a lot of harsh stuff. Because my face was makeup-free, I used very little of the wash. Surprise! It takes only a little to wash my whole face. Just like with the wipes, this left my face feeling refreshed and, well, clean, without any dryness.

The moisturizer is the only one of the trio that I wasn't turning flips over. It's okay, but it's just not as moisturizing as I like. It's a good thing that the cleansers don't dry my skin. 

Before you get the wrong idea about the moisturizer, let me point out a couple of things that probably affected that part of my review. For one thing, I am in my fifties so my skin is not as easily moisturized as it used to be. Another thing is that my skin reacts better to serum-type moisturizers, or a combination of serum and cream. L'Oreal makes a very expensive moisturizer that just sits on top of my skin but does nothing for the texture.

Bottom line, Simple Face Care has not disappointed me yet. Other than the pleasant feel of my skin after using the cleansers, I am impressed that the products are free of dyes and irritants.

 As far as a moisturizer goes, the one in this starter kit seems like it would be good for someone with younger skin. I'm going to be looking to find a sample of their Nourishing 24hr Day/Night Cream. That sounds like a better fit for my skin age and type.

Peace

Free

* I learned by using one before I read on the box that the wipes will remove even waterproof mascara. Also, I think the included B5 is what helped keep away the post-clean dryness

** I noticed that a full-sized package of the facial wipes were around $5 at Walmart. That's not too bad.

Black Cosmetics: Great Strides & Great Failures

You guys know I love my membership at sites like SheSpeaks and BzzAgent. Like anyone, I enjoy getting to find out about and try new products, not to mention how much fun I get in telling you guys about them!

Here comes the "But" part of this post...

I am really disappointed that, among items featured on these "try-and-tell" sites, there are not more cosmetics and hair products suited for black women. If you ask me (and, yes, I know you didn't), the companies who produce products for black women are really missing out. (And when I talk about these products, I don't care whether or not they are black-owned or produced; I'm strictly talking from an end-user perspective here.)

When the BB creams became so mainstream popular that everyone and their cousin jumped on the train, I missed out. I'm still sitting in the station, waiting for a BB cream to come along that won't make me look two shades of ashy.

Now, here's the thing, I did a quick search of BB creams for black women. There are quite a few out there, but only a handful that come in a greater variety of shades.


BlackUp has some shades so beautiful, they make me want to cry. I'm going to have to get hold of some trial sizes of this. Now!

$39.50 for the CC cream

$42 for this foundation

See? My face was over here just craving that CC cream! Even at those prices, it's worth it to have a shade that matches and works well for your skin type. It's not like you're going to be buying it once a month or so, right?

I actually have some loose face powder by BlackUp. The powder was a gift, so I didn't go over and check the price, but... Guess what? It's about half a shade off from what I need. The person who gifted it to me had to choose from an online photo of the product. Wouldn't it be nice if I could have sampled a couple of shades first? Shade problems aside, that is some really good product.

Now, because of the average price of a really good foundation or CC (or BB or DD!) cream, it's really not worth buying a full-sized product without knowing the benefits. Even if a product matches your skin tone, you don't want one that leaves your face feeling dry, or looking un-natural. That's why reviews are so important. Reviews by people like you and me (and not some celebrity or anyone else most of us can't relate to) are key. We can compare value to price and quality. We can tell each other how well the product fits our "regular" lifestyle and budget.

No offense to Garnier (or Neutrogena, Covergirl, etc), but I don't fall into the generalized category of shades you've determined to be "Dark" or "Deep". I'm not Halle Berry or Queen Latifah. I'm closer to Lupita Nyong'o. There's usually no decent shade of foundation for me in the aisles of Walmart. Matter of fact, there are lot of women who have trouble finding a good shade of makeup in mass retail stores. Once not long ago,  I had a nice chat with a Caucasian lady in the makeup section at Walmart. She was having problems locating a shade for her peachy-tan undertones. She said that she had once found a decent product from one brand, but it was hard to find on local shelves.

~sigh~

Back to my point though: When are the black cosmetic brands going to get with the movement of putting there products out there for folks to try before they spend money or the wrong shade or type? When I find a good product, I talk about it, and then the people I've talked to talk about it. Word of mouth. Get it?

In late 2013, one beauty and personal care analyst was talking about the "boom" in ethnic cosmetics. It's true. I'm starting to see lots and lots of diversity in cosmetic products, but the producers need to look past the faces they see on the TV and movie screens. There are more shades to "ethnic" than "Medium", "Medium Deep" and "Mahogany". I'm waiting to see some truer-to-skin shades for women like me.

For the brands out there who do have a good range of shades, please start working with us consumers more by getting samples and trial sizes into the retail aisles. We "regular" folk will spend good money on good products - once we have a chance to see that they are good. And because we are "regular", we don't often hit up Nordstrom or Macy's; you'll reach us quicker at Target, Walgreens and Walmart. (Okay, maybe that last was just for folks like me!)

Ladies, for those of you who live in an area with better access to products, check out the stroy of DooBop. For the rest of you (and me), you can try looking for these brands:

• Iman Cosmetics 
• Black Opal
• Mac Cosmetics
• Fashion Fair
• Bobbi Brown

I'm going to leave you with some images. Shades, tones and hues...

Black Opal

Bobbi Brown

Flori Roberts

Iman got it right!

Iman

Peace

--Free

Unanswered Prayers

Lately, I've been wandering over quite a bit to sit on my pity pot. I resist that impulse because that's not where I want to spend my time. If my mother were still here, she'd remind me that I need Jesus! It's been a few years since I've attended church on a regular basis, however I still give thanks to God every day.

Since today is Sunday, I've been trying to focus on the good things in my life, of which there are many. Here's the thing: sometimes, all the good stuff gets hidden behind the big old pile of bad things. When I do take the time to look, I realize that I have a lot of blessings and most of them have come from unanswered prayers.

There have been times when I've wondered why I've been disappointed by people, relationships, or even my own failures. A lot of the time when something "bad" happens, I will feel like God isn't paying attention to my prayers. That's why I like to think about this story someone emailed to me years ago. It's called "Two Traveling Angels":

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.  

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."  

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. 

When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel, "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."  

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." 

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem." 

It's easy to wonder why we don't get a specific job we wanted or a relationship with a certain person. When we have these disappointments, we ask why without having the capacity to even understand the answer. (Think of the people who were late for work at the Twin Towers on 9/11.)

Right now, one of my worries is about my sister. She has been diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. She is very strong in her faith and her diagnosis seems only to be making her stronger. I, on the other hand, have been selfishly struggling with the news. After I had a little meltdown the other day, I was prompted to remember something a friend once told me: We are all dying, but what counts is how we live in the meantime. (This same friend, also a cancer patient, is the one who told me that everyone wants to meet Jesus, but nobody wants to die.)

For anyone else who may be sick, sad, worried, or disappointed by things happening in their life, I want to share one of my favorite passages from the Bible:

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Psalm 34:18

 Peace
--Free

Stress Can Make You Crazy

My mother used to warn me about getting "stressed out". Stress, she'd say, will either kill you or make you crazy. I don't know if my stress will kill me, but it sure is making me crazy.

When I get stressed, I do goofy things.

A few days ago, I was on my way to have coffee with a close friend I hadn't seen for a while. We have a favorite meeting spot called The House of Bread. (If you live near one, go there. It's great - unless you're on a diet. You can gain weight just from inhaling the delicious smells.) It's a straight shot from where I live to The House of Bread. I can get there in three minutes, if I hit the one stoplight just right. Or if I actually get to the stoplight. I didn't make it that day because my brain went on autopilot and I ended up sitting in the parking lot at Walmart, trying to figure out what I needed from the store. I was actually sitting in my car, trying to remember whether or not I'd made a list and forgotten it at the apartment.

That was funny, but scary. I sat there at Walmart for about five minutes before my friend called to check on me. When I told her what happened, she drove to Walmart and we ended up getting coffee at the McDonald's inside. Happy ending to that weirdness:  I was able to pick up some groceries while we were there. Downer to that weirdness: my friend has been calling me every few hours to make sure I'm not sitting somewhere in a parking lot when I'm supposed to be somewhere else.

It's just stress, right?

My friend advised me that the best way to deal with stress is to acknowledge it. Until she reminded me, I had not thought of the reasons I'm struggling to cope right now:

The months of April, May, June and July don't hold a lot of great memories for me. My mother passed in April (2001); my father was born in the month of May and died in July (of 1991); June is the month when I walked away from the best man I have ever loved; my oldest brother died in July of last year; July of 2011 is when I was hit was sarcoidosis. This April, my sister was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer.

So, I am trying to acknowledge my stressors, but even doing that is adding stress. The goofy, crazy weirdness continues.

While I'm normally an easily distracted person, this emotional chaos is not helping. Writing is usually an escape for me, but I can't concentrate long enough to get any writing done. After last night, I'm considering taking a break from doing anything that requires my full attention.

When I write, I don't like to wander far from my laptop in my bedroom because I'll get sidetracked. Normally, "getting sidetracked" means I will end up chatting on the phone with someone or taking a walk to clear my head. Little things like that only take me off course for about half and hour. Last night, in the middle of a writing session, I took a quick bathroom break. I ended up rearranging the towels and soaps, then I realized I needed to clean out the makeup drawer. I don't like throwing things away so I put the makeup in a bag to giveaway to friends. And why stop at makeup? I have plenty of clothes and accessories I don't wear or use anymore....

When I finished, I had a gallon-sized freezer bags of cosmetics and medium-sized packing box of clothing to tote to my car. Apparently, that was thirsty work because, before I knew it, I was in the kitchen and blending up a some lemon, ginger and mango smoothies.

Life doesn't play fair and, every now and then, I need a reminder that I am no match for what it's going to throw at me. Okay, I am reminded, but I am also reassured:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

--Free

Psalm 23

**Review** Tomoson's (for bloggers & businesses)

***This is a rushed post, so forgive any errors!***

Tomoson.com matches up bloggers with providers who have a product/service they would like reviewed. Here's the viewpoint of one of those providers (since I can only speak from the position of a blogger/reviewer).

I've been signed up with Tomoson for a while, but only recently began using the site. After a few days, I've already been accepted for one invitation to review a product (and you will see that review here asap!) and the process was pretty smooth.

The products I see listed for possible review are diverse. There's a great selection - good enough that I just rejoined the dreaded Facebook so that I can apply to review more of them. See, that's how it works: the more socially connected you are, the more eligible you are for applying to review products. Makes sense. The product providers want to get your feedback out to as many people as possible and, since Facebook is so freaking popular ~insert eye-roll here~ a lot of providers make it a pre-requisite for the blogger to have a certain number of Facebook "friends".

I get it.

Thank goodness I have bunches of folks that I enjoy on Twitter and G+. I don't want to recruit Facebook "friends" just for selfish purposes. I'm hoping that those Tweeters and Plussers willl migrate over to my  ~groan~ Facebook account. That way, I'm truly only dealing with folks I like.

Back to Tomoson:

It's easy to sign up and set up your profile. There's a system for verifying your social network influence (no fibbing allowed! ), and the rest is just waiting to find a product you'd feel good about trying for review.

Like I mentioned before, I am signed up for one product review and can't wait. I really wished I had started using Tomoson earlier. If I had, I might not have just 19 Facebook friends! LOL. Seriously though, I have to restrict my Facebook account because of issues with a stalker ex and his folks.

For anyone already doing product reviews (or anyone with a blog who wants to get into that), I can recommend giving Tomoson.com a try. In the meantime, if you are already one of my social network buddies, get over to Facebook and Add me as a "friend" because those are the only folks I want on my "timeline."

I am here (for Tomoson), and here for... I dunno, but it's a page for my blog. I think

Peace
--Free

Not As They Seem

Sometimes in life, things really are not as they seem. You can spend your whole life fooled by your own perspective, perceptions and expectations of people. You imagine what's not there because you see only what you want to see. I damn near had a psychotic break when I recently realized this about people in my own life.

This morning, when I got an email with this photo (of a woman body-painted) to look like a bird, I thought that it captured my personal realization.

It's a bird, it's a... Nope. It's a woman.

The email added these "clues" that sharpen the picture for us: Her left leg pointing down like a tail,  her right knee is drawn up,  her right arm is braced on the stump, her other arm is folded over her head. THE LONGER YOU LOOK--YOU'LL SEE HER VERY CLEARLY.  SHE'S SITTING ON THE WOOD STUMP.

Illusions. Life.

Peace
--Free

**FILM ALERT** "The Loving Story"

I watched a film recently that caused me to stop and count my blessings about a lot of things.

This might sound familiar: "The Loving Story" is about two people who had to battle the state of Virginia for the right to live together...

...After they were married....

...In 1958 (not 1858, but 1958).

Oh - and because he was white and she was not.



I won't go into all the details of the documentary (there is a website you can check out), but I will say that I needed the reminder of how hard a lot of people had to fight for freedoms the rest of us now take for granted. That we do take some things for granted is sort of a good thing. The bad thing is when we forget why we can now take those things for granted.

I am always bothered when people aren't serious about educating themselves, or voting, or travelling, or working hard. Whenever I think of people who are not being allowed to live fully and healthfully and with all the advantages that most of us take for granted, I get so mad. But, sometimes, I am reminded of my own ignorant waste of blessings - like marriage and freedom.

The story of Richard and Mildred Loving sent me into a little bit of an emotional tailspin. Not just because it used this couple's marriage to showcase real commitment and courage, but also because Richard and Mildred were such a perfect example of what a marriage contract is.

My sister and I agreed that, it's often too easy to "play" with the idea of marriage - and work and education and finances and family. That's the curse having a life that's easier than our forefathers did. When you come by things the hard way, you hold them a little more dear.

I didn't know that, when I married my first husband in the early 80's, that our union would have been illegal in Alabama. Why did I not know that? Knowing how stubborn I am, I would probably have stayed married just for G.P.

Isn't it funny how we need to be reminded of our history in order to appreciate our present?

Peace
--Free

Waiting to Review Dr. Scholl's...

Sometime in May, I'll be getting the chance to review a product that I need, need need.

The folks over at BzzAgent don't know how glad I am to be picked for their Dr. Scholl's Custom Fit Orthotic Inserts campaign. I have been griping for the past year about my feet. When I gained the prednisone weight, my arches dropped and I started having a lot of discomfort when walking. Even after dropping the pounds (yay!), my feet didn't forgive me.

When I heard from BzzAgent about this campaign, I just about broke my neck getting to Walmart to the "footmapping" kiosk. The computerized kiosk is set up to check my arch type, pressure points and, of course, foot size. It didn't take that long and I had some fun watching the on-screen sensor images. (I'm such a child.)

I plan to use the inserts in my boots and sneakers. Not these Athletic Works sneakers:

Bottom came right off! On both shoes...

Can't even find a website for the brand. I should've looked before buying.

No, no. Those sneakers are going to a research lab for ticked-off consumers. I spent about 22 bucks on those off-brand things at Walmart and, while that's not a lot of money, I expected them to last more than 6 months. I bought them especially for the gym and only ever used them for my 3-days-a-week treadmill walks. (Maybe I shouldn't have washed them?) You know Walmart won't take them back without the receipt, right? From now on, I'll get my shoes from somewhere else. And never again will I buy the Athletic Works brand.

Anyway, I'll be back here in about a month to tell you about the Orthotic inserts. If you've already heard about them, you know they can be pricey, so here's a link to a coupon.

Peace
--Free

Active Ignorance

• When you know just enough about something to be entertained by it without knowing how if might really affect you.
• Knowing that a person or thing is not good for you and keeping that person or thing in your life.
• Calling someone else bossy or preachy just so you don't have to think about what they are saying.
• Chasing the easiest and least important things in life because you're too stubborn, vain, lazy or weak-minded to discover something better.
• Believing in one side of a "coin" while never realizing there is a flip-side.
• Following other people just as ignorant and never giving that any serious thought.
• Thinking yourself so strong or smart or savvy that you never learn anything.
• Believing in your own invincibility.
• When you'd rather live in the shadows of a lie because the light of truth hurts your eyes.
• Living as if you will live forever.
• Living as if you are already dead.
• Never wanting to live up to anything that requires anything more of you than you want to give.
• When you're tough enough to "go hard" at everything but are too weak to stand up for anything.

Peace

--Free

Ignorance and Distraction

Does it ever occur to anyone else that we live in a society that works very hard at distracting us from anything important?

For the first time in a long time I found myself flipping through TV channels for hours. I myself don't own a TV set. I watch a few shows via Netflix and Hulu; I get my news and other information from certain online sites and podcasts. Yesterday, the weather was cool and gloomy while I did some emergency babysitting. The kid entertains himself with some of the three millions toys he has. I entertained myself with Satellite TV. It would have been horrible except for the observations I made.

When I ranted the other day about the different food shows, I didn't mention that I rarely watch them anymore. These days, the only televisions shows that I'm ashamed to admit watching are from Bravo's "Real Housewives" franchise. (I can't even believe I admitted that in print.)

Most of the very popular shows on television are made to numb our brains to any important social issues. Unless grown women acting like "tweens" is an important social issue.  We even like to be entertained while we catch up on news, which is why I we love Jon Stewart and Fox News. And why does it seem that there are so many people emulating the behavior of out-of-control celebrities? When's the last time you saw a kid voicing their goals to be the next Jon Stewart or Rachel Maddow? Being smart doesn't get as much attention as being drugged out or good at twerking.

When I was in my late twenties, my father gave me the book "Cultural Literacy" by E.D. Hirsch, Jr. My father was big on education and he believed that learning was a lifelong pursuit. I was young and very distracted by all things pretty, shiny, new and fun. I figured I'd made it out of high school and into a good job. My father figured I was a little bit ignorant in my complacency. He was right. Let me tell you something: ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance is dangerous.

Not many years before he died, my father and I had one of our long and interesting talks. One of the things he told me then was that he wished ignorance was more embarrassing than it was. He said that when he was younger, it was an honor to receive as much education and knowledge as one could. He had to join the military to get his education. Outside the formal classrooms, he was always curious about the Why, How and What of almost everything.

I remember that my father was very strict about my siblings and I spent our free time. We rarely watched television because the TV set was hardly ever turned on. My parents watched the news and the late shows. I know that I watched shows like "The Brady Bunch" and I have memories of shows like "H.R. Pufnstuf". If I close my eyes now and try to remember the living rooms of our homes, I can't picture a TV set being powered on. I can promise you that the living room was the only place for TV sets we owned.

Since I've been "grown", there are lots of times when I've vaguely wondered about life without all the televisions, computers and cell phones in family homes. Apparently, I get amnesia about the years previous to the last twenty. If I gave myself just a good ten minutes to think about it, I could tell you about that life.

Not too many years ago, people had to really go out of their way to find an "escape" or distraction from important things. Now, we have to work hard just to escape all the distractions.

If I had real guts, I'd give myself some challenges throughout my life:

• Go for a week using my cellphone only for calls - no games; no messaging or emailing; no pretending to check my phone just to avoid making eye contact with other human beings.
• Going computer-free for a few days. Of course, I'd have to buy printed newspapers and books. I don't even want to think about this challenge if I have to be honest and classify my cellphone a "computer", which it is...
• No TV of any kind for a month. "No TV" would mean no Netflix or Hulu or whatever.
• To name and identify every major member of the current presidential administration. 
• Study up enough to be conversationally comfortable on the subjects of law, medicine and literature of the last 15 years. Watching "Matlock", "House", "Grey's Anatomy" wouldn't be allowed as study materials. (Did I just reference "Matlock"? ~head-slap~)
• For one year, actually write (and mail via the Postal Service) all birthday, anniversary, and other cards that I usually just get online and send via email. 
• To learn as much about my neighborhood and neighbors as I know about people who live halfway around the world from me.

You see what I mean? We keep so busy just keeping up with the latest thing to "manage" our lives that we've lost control of managing our lives without those things. We have so much useless (though entertaining) garbage thrown at us that our brains have no room for important or useful information.

I don't know about everyone else, but I think I need a brain detox. I need to clean out some of this crap that clutters my mind so that I can regain some of my cultural literacy. Too many of us have a PhD in Kardashian while we couldn't pass a high school test on the timeline of any U.S. military action of the last decade.

Ignorance and distraction. We went looking for escape and ended up getting lost.

By the way, if you are interested, you can test yourself. (Don't ask me about my scores. I'm not telling!)

Peace

--Free

**UPDATE** Arm & Hammer Truly Radiant

My first post about My Smiley360 kit for Arm & Hammer's Truly Radiant toothpaste (and the spinbrush) was a happy one and I'd promised to do an update. (Make sure to check bottom of this post before purchasing the product. You'll be glad you did.)

Good stuff

Well, I have to say that after just over a week of using this toothpaste, I really like it. I like it lots.

I'm still impressed by how non-messy the toothpaste it. Some people like lots of foam and lather from their toothpastes, but I only like all that in my shampoos. The Truly Radiant has a sort of concentrated feel to it when I'm brushing.

I noticed the whitening effect after the first use and, since it was a bit dramatic, I'm not bothered that there hasn't been more whitening since. This is just the end of the first week though.

Not just brighter, but so much smoother

What I do notice more of a difference in is this: my teeth feel "smoother" for longer periods between brushing. I actually realized this when, a couple of days ago, I missed my bedtime brushing because I was kept unexpectedly away from home overnight. I didn't eat a lot of food that day, but I went through at least four big cups of coffee with lots of cream and brown sugar. When I got home the next morning and started to brush my teeth, I noticed that there didn't seem to be as much residue from the previous day.

I'm not making a habit of missing my regular brushing, but I was happy not to feel a lot of filminess on my teeth. (My breath? That was whole other story we will not be discussing!) Because of my overall results, I don't have a hard time believing all that Truly Radiant claims to do (with data they have on file):

• Whitens, strengthens and repairs tooth enamel
• Unique formula combines pure Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, Active Calcium, Fluoride and Peroxide
• Clinically proven to beautify teeth
• Restores glass and luster
• Removes better than the leading whitening toothpaste (when used as directed for 5 days)

(the effects that I have observed for myself after my first week are in bold)

Using the Truly Radiant with and without the matching spinbrush, I'm pleased enough after 5 days to switch from pastes I've been using. Actually, this is the first time I've decided to stick with one toothpaste. Usually, I buy one of whichever brand is on sale when I shop (think Crest, Crest Whitening, Biotene and Aquafresh). In the past, I have preferred Biotene - which I really like - and Crest, and I have tried Rembrandt. Rembrandt (about $7+ locally) doesn't really have anything on Truly Radiant (about $4).

Last of all, but pretty importantly:

Here are coupons for the paste and the brush

You can find money-back guarantees for the Truly Radiant toothpaste and for the spinbrush. Nice.

Peace
--Free



DISCLOSURE: I received my Arm & Hammer Truly Radiant to try for free (along with a spinbrush) via Smiley360.

Love Food, Not the Shows

I love food, so I should love shows about food. And I do.

"Unwrapped" is probably my favorite because not only do I get to find out just how some of my favorite snacks are made, I get to find out about things I've never had a chance to try. "Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" is fun because Guy Fieri seems to have so much real fun visiting the different eateries. He's cute with his family.

What I can't stand are show like "Man vs Food", "Bizarre Food",  and "Dinner Impossible". Let me break this down:

Watching "Man vs Food" makes me feel a little ill. When that dude puts down that much food in one sitting is just a glorification of gluttony. I have caught sight of this show more times than I'm proud to admit. I usually last until I find out what monster-sized meal he's going to try gnawing his way through, but when he starts sweating and dribbling on his napkin, well, I'm just done.

"Bizarre Food' is interesting. I'm always fascinated by foods from different cultures. I grew up in a culture where every part of the pig, ox and cow is not only eaten, but craved by a lot of folks. The thing that irritates me about Zimmerman is that I can never gauge how well his taste relates to that of most westerners. He will eat the anus of an alien and remark about the smokiness and layers of flavor. Rarely does he go ahead and just say how gross most of us would find a dish. I mean, come on, man: tell us that something is just delicious to you and the people who grew up acquiring a taste for it.

I admire the guy who does "Dinner Impossible" because he seems to do a lot of charitable events. It's his over-the-top manner that turns me off. He has figured out his TV persona and he works it like a boss. Very annoying. He's probably a super nice guy, but I can only take about five minutes of the "realism" that is him.

I'm not ashamed to say that I used to dig me some Paula Deen. I'd never use her recipes because of all the pounds of butter and other fatty stuff she uses, but I liked that motherly attitude she had. It wasn't her use of derogatory terms for ethnics (specifically, the "n-word"), but when I heard that she had a super-foul mouth. This was probably two years before she weathered the accusations a former employee made about her (and her son, Bubba). I just lost my liking for her when I realized she wasn't anything like my own mother or any other mother I could truly admire.

Now, don't misunderstand my irritation with these shows. I have nothing against eating flavorful and seasoned food. My peeve is when some shows seem to encourage people to over eat or just slam down any and every kind of food. I can't get a handle on what media wants more: to have everyone thin and beautiful with great cholesterol numbers or folks who glut until they can't breathe.

I do like it when food shows try to help teach ways for saving time or money in the kitchen. There just aren't enough shows like that. I used to like "30-Minute Meals", but...

Rachel Ray is just a little too damn perky for me. She's probably belongs in the club of the perfectly nice (right along with the "Dinner Impossible" guy), but, boy, I can only take so much of her hyper-happiness. She is really a cute lady though, isn't she?

My sister likes Bobby Flay and his "Throwdown" series. Not me. He comes off as the kind of person I avoid on a prejudice. I prejudge him as arrogant and grating. My sister agrees, but she finds his ways cute. He does too. You can tell.

Love, love, love the "Two Fat Ladies". I don't find many of their finished dishes to look very appetizing, but they are so much fun to watch. They seems so down to earth and real. They do no posing for the cameras - unless they are pretending to be women who don't pose. Fun stuff.

I really like Ina Garten on "The Barefoot Contessa" for the same reasons I like "Two Fat Ladies". She's so elegant without being frou-frou. I like how naturally loving she and her husband treat each other. I also like that she looks like someone who actually eats what she cooks (and that she cooks it without pounds of butter). She just seems like a person who'd have you in her home for dinner even if you don't live in her zip code.

In the We Never Agree category is "Good Eats". My sister doesn't like it. At all. I love it. I like learning not just about a certain dish but also how and why it's best prepared a certain way. Not that I often use what I learn. I have watched shows on fixing meat in a dutch oven right after I tossed my tin-foil wrapped steak into an oven that I forgot to even turn on.

Anyway.

I have food on the brain tonight. My girlfriend called and gave me a recipe for steaming my vegetables in broths and stocks instead of plain water. I can't wait until she mails me her son's recipe for vegetarian collard greens. (When you stop giggling about what I just said, think about all the fatback, smoked hocks and necks most people season their greens with. I'm not that bad, but I'm looking for more flavor without going broke buying smoked turkey wings.)


Peace
--Free

(I tried linking to videos of the mentioned shows. Sure hope I didn't pick ones that contradict any of my complaints!)