Tuesday, May 08, 2012

News Dive!!!

Trying not to think about food right now. It's gonna be another day of "blah," so...

I decided to share a guilty pleasure with you. The folks over on the G (and the ones in the house with me) are always teasing me about my fascination with trashy culture. How best to keep up with the trashy gossip? Trashy news! One of my favorite sites is The Daily Mail (UK). Now, before you start ripping on me, understand two things: 1) whether we like it or not, this stuff is news, and 2) you might get hooked yourself. Shall we take a look at some of what got my inner bitch in an itch this morning?...

Dustin Hoffman saved someone's life. How cool is that? What a decent, decent guy, right? But I just know that if he'd saved me with my smart ass, first thing I'd've done is yell, "Tootsie!!??" LOL (And, everyone take a moment to notice something unusual: Hoff's got a wife that looks like she was born in the same century as him. In Hollywood? Shut the freaking bathroom door!)

I got so excited by reading this headline that I don't have all the info. Tell you what though, if they allow these things on freeways... I might end up moving some place with a mix-master or two. Might get to expand my horizons.

Lately, I've been hearing about to two women who are annoying the piss out of me: This chick here not only needs her ass whipped with a switch from someone's back yard, but... she's 40-who? Bullshit she's 44. Nuh uh, no ma'am. It took longer than 44 years to develop that tan and for her brain to regress to the size of a nutmeg speck. I almost can't grasp what she did with the little girl. I'm still too busy trying to figure out what she thinks is cute about looking like a cheeto. (And she's tickled about being made fun of on TV? Wow. No shame.)

Then, there is this old ass lady here... People are encouraging her to act the fool and she thinks this mess is cute. Hey Grandma Time? Not cute. No, not even kinda cute. Go sit your old ass down, ma. (This kinda thing here reminds me of when parents teach their toddlers something "cute" and then show them off. Don't you hate that? When they drag the kids out and go, "Show Miss Trudy how you can dance like Diddy while you say 'Bitch betta have my money.'" Not cute. Matter of fact, I think that's right in there with mental abuse or something. Dumbasses. Teach the baby how to count or say his prayers.) Old people, young people - same damn thing. All I have to say about this is, "Y'all, come get your damn grandma!"

Ruh roh, guys. There's a new phobia for me, you guys. It's already gone on my list, page two... Don't laugh until you read this. I am not. the. only. one.

On this one, I just read the first 3 words and stopped. I don't want to risk reading anything in the article that might negate or any soften that implication. Please, please, please, all that is geek and internet, let it be true.

This is super-cool. Just love it when people think up stuff like this. Brilliant. (Not that I would own one. I mean, it's a great idea and I love the "drawers," but you fuck around and get it wet... LOL)

(My sister is sister is sitting here with me & she just told me to clean up my filthy mouth. I'm really going to work on that. Next week, after the Live Below the Line challenge is over. Really, I am.)

Is Kim Kardashian embarrassed yet? Doubt it. She covered her Shame Bone with a Hermes scarf and went back to shopping for a Birkin bag. Bitch. (I know - language, language... NEXT WEEK!) I just about fell out laughing at these old ladies. Kim is either their new hero or they are thinking she is a solo freak show. SMH. No words. I have no words.

Why did I think that the 60's were a kinder, gentler time? Not only did stuff go one, but juicy stuff. Book-worthy stuff. Wow... I mean. I know things went on, but daaaang! Was there nothing but sin in high places? Kennedy got more ass than Charmin. Bad, bad boy...

And just to leave you with some nice images I found via the G...

Nice Reminder

Don't look at me, I dunno!

Go over to Project Noah. I am. They use the term "Citizen Scientist." Cool, no?

And, last - my new motto: