Thursday, May 10, 2012

Can't believe I made it to day 4. Had to miss the grad party last night (I couldn't stand the idea of all that food & my niece totally supports me in it), and I have the freaking MOTHA of all headaches and because I procrastinate, I have to get off my lazy ass & go transfer those donations. What a gigantic pain in my ass that it... (Not the donations, just the getting off my ass part!)

At least today looks like it might be a sunny one. That will help keep my mind off eating (maybe) & I can sit outside and think about what this whole hunger challenge means. And I do think about it more with every passing minute. Last night I felt so incredibly sad that I worked myself up to a good old=fashioned cry. Think about this:

1.4 billion people - BILLION - living in poverty.

I can't even fathom that. I don't want to think about how many of those people are babies. My God, my God, my God.

A friend and I were comparing pics of  his niece & my nephew. They are both around 4 months old & my friend & I compete to see who can take more photos and be the biggest braggart. We are about neck and neck & people literally hate to see us coming when we have our cameras out.  (I have to stop & say this: His niece is SO stinking adorable!) Anyway... I told him how this challenge makes me grateful every time I think about Baby DJ & the other half a million kids in my fam. I remember times when our two girls & my sister's twins were young. There were a few times that we all ate a LOT of beans and rice and hoecakes - but there was never, ever, ever a time when our kids were the slightest bit hungry (matter of fact, couple of them could stand to lose a few pounds). I was always thankful for that, but I never realized what a deep blessing it was. Back then, I wasn't even aware of what a blessing it was that I could complain about extra jobs and overtime or tired feet or psychotic bosses. I am very aware now of how God was truly watching over us. I am aware now of why my mother would sometimes just close her eyes and smile while she thanked God. I'm aware now of why, one time (when I couldn't work out on paper how we managed with the income we had against what money went out of the house) Mom nearly slapped the paper & pen out of my hand. "Why are you going to question what God is doing for you?" Let me tell you, Miss Edie was mad... but

I realize now.

I hope that you are thankful if your babies are eating & sleeping in a warm place & running around, healthy & trying to drive you out of your freaking mind with their noise & toys. I hope you are thankful if you are waking up to bitch about a job you have to go to & a boss you have to put up with & that crazy bitch that sits in the cubicle next to you. I hope you just remember to be thankful.

I'm broke as Humpty Dumpty's clumsy ass, but I am still so much better off than any of the hungry babies and struggling, worried moms and dads out there.

Guess I just needed to rant. I'll be back later after I run errands and have something a little less somber to post about.

(And a big THANK YOU to the latest donor, Mrs. M.G. & fam. (I love you, boo!)